June 8, 2006

Overheard inside a Baquba bunker, Thursday, June 8

First militant:  “So…”

Second militant:  “So.”

First militant:

Second militant:

First militant: “…Do you think he’s at least, you know—enjoying his virgins?”

Second militant: “That depends, brother.  Do you suppose Allah will permit him to saw their filthy heads off with a hunting knife once he’s done dribbling his seed on their bellies?  Because otherwise, I doubt he’ll get much pleasure from them.”

First militant: “Peace be upon him.”

Second militant: “Right.  Peace be upon him.”*

Posted by Jeff G. @ 3:54pm
57 comments | Trackback

Comments (57)

  1. Of Mohammedan Bogeymen and Bearded Ayrab Terrists: Why Zarqawi Had To Die

    Earlier today, Gen. George Casey commander of US occupation troops in Iraq held a “joint press conference” with the Quislings of Baghdad to announce the elimination of Abu Musa’b al-Zarqawi, “the terrorist leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq”.

    Casey had a nice “story line” ready to sell, full of heroic subplots involving choreographed strikes by American GI’s and “new Iraqi” soldiers working hand in hand like virile “allies” are supposed to, and backed by a series of neat (too neat to be true) “artifacts” such as the deceased public enemy numero uno’s framed photographs and magnified fingerprints appearing on the projected slides of an elaborate PowerPoint presentation.

    As my old blogging friend Sophie pointed out, this smelled a rat: the fact that the announcement of Zarqawi’s death coincided precisely with the long-awaited (more than 4 months…) nomination of Iraq’s new security ministers (Defense, Interior and NSA) only added to our legitimate suspicions…

    And what can we possibly say of the striking resemblance between the pictures of Zarqawi’s inanimate corpse with those of Latin America’s most “subversive” revolutionary, Ernesto Che Guevara who died in similar conditions 40 years ago?

    Pervasiveness of the proverbially “aggressive” Arab-Hispanic ethnic and cultural “traits” threatening the integrity of our beloved Western civilization? 

    Common use of the advanced mortuary toileting techniques in vogue at the CIA during the Cold War?

    Allah and Samuel P. Huntington only know…

  2. From the story linked:


    As news of al-Zarqawi’s death spread in his hometown, some 50 boys — aged 8 to 14 — took to the streets, hurling stones at reporters.

    fwiw Reuters referred to these boys as ‘rapscallions’ in their coverage.

  3. Thanks Jeff.  I’ve missed hearing from these guys.

  4. Doc Vic ….

    Your use of ‘Quisling’ is historically inaccurate .. it is inapt, Sir, I say again, INAPT!

    As for the rest of your screed, you’ve got the vapors again.  Lie back with a cool compress for an hour or so and you should be okay.  Just don’t operate any heavy machinery or drive a car.

    or blog, for that matter.

    And stay safe. 

    Some of those voices might not only be in your head.

  5. Does it smell like somebody took a really nasty dump in this thread ?  I smell something but I can’t put my finger on where the rank smell is coming from.  Any help would be appreciated.

  6. Doesn’t really matter, vdelav.  It’s good that Che’s dead, too.

  7. the fact that the announcement of Zarqawi’s death coincided precisely with the long-awaited (more than 4 months…) nomination of Iraq’s new security ministers (Defense, Interior and NSA) only added to our legitimate suspicions…

    Haven’t gotten my RePuklican Decoder Ring (Iraqi bandwidth model) running yet this morning, Vic, but one can hope:  Knocking bin Laden out “precisely” ten days prior to the next US election would be such a kick in the pants.

    Wouldn’t it.

    And what can we possibly say of the striking resemblance between the pictures of Zarqawi’s inanimate corpse with those of Latin America’s most “subversive” revolutionary, Ernesto Che Guevara who died in similar conditions 40 years ago?

    Well, we could continue on to say that to fascists—US fascists; overseas fascists are too busy with all the murdering to bother—appearances are everything. 

    What shit looks like defines narrative, eh “Doc”?  What shit actually is does not.

    tw: Hard times for idiots.  Assuming that’s all you are…

  8. It’s kind of funny—until I got to the signature line, I really thought the first comment was a brilliant piece from Slart or Verc.  I guess parody really is dead, alas.

  9. I smell something but I can’t put my finger on where the rank smell is coming from. 

    Nasty trollstank.

  10. Bunker busted!  Congratulations to the coalition troops!  Well done.

  11. What’s ah..this ah…fascination with ah…72 virgins all about, eh?

    I mean, after a dozen or so giggling ah… first-timers, wouldn’t you ah… totally be in the mood for a ah…slut that ah… gave really good head or was ah…willing to stick her ah…finger up your ass just as you ah… came?

    I know ah…I would….

  12. That is some world-class moonbat-ery, Vic.  World class.

  13. And what can we possibly say of the striking resemblance between the pictures of Zarqawi’s inanimate corpse with those of Latin America’s most “subversive” revolutionary, Ernesto Che Guevara who died in similar conditions 40 years ago?

    You know, I can only DREAM that liberal college moonbats will start wearing t-shirts with Zarqawi’s image on them.  I, too, noticed the resemblance between “dead Che” and “dead Zarqawi.” but I just wrote it off that murderous bastards must all look alike. You know, terrorist chic sort of thing.

    And, to be a little less silly, there are two images of “dead Zarqawi”; the “cleaned-up” version doesn’t look at all like Che.

    Oh, and LOVE the scare quotes around “subversive.”

  14. “And what can we possibly say of the striking resemblance between the pictures of Zarqawi’s inanimate corpse with those of Latin America’s most “subversive” revolutionary, Ernesto Che Guevara who died in similar conditions 40 years ago?”

    Oo!  Oo!  I know!

    Both are now on the ash heap of history.

  15. As my old blogging friend Sophie pointed out, this smelled a rat: the fact that the announcement of Zarqawi’s death coincided precisely with the long-awaited (more than 4 months…) nomination of Iraq’s new security ministers (Defense, Interior and NSA) only added to our legitimate suspicions…

    I have also heard that Zarqawi collasped into his own footprints, which should immediately raise suspicions.

  16. “striking resemblance”

    As in, they’re both dead.

  17. BumperStickerist, let me know if you need help getting your foot out of Dr. Crazies ass.  I would be honored to give you a pull.  I was surprised that you could fit it in there considering the fact that his head has taken up permanent residency.  You are on your own if you lose your shoe though.  My generosity knows many bounds.

    And what can we possibly say of the striking resemblance between the pictures of Zarqawi’s inanimate corpse with those of Latin America’s most “subversive” revolutionary, Ernesto Che Guevara who died in similar conditions 40 years ago?

    We could frankly not care?  We could be exceedingly happy that both of them are dead.  We could note that they were both butt ugly and crazy.  And we could honestly wonder what the hell Dr. Crazy is driving at.

    One last thing Doc, they are doing wonderful things with anti-psychotics these days.  Look into it. 

    TW: these Hey Dr. Crazy, these nuts.

  18. We want to give you the joyous news of the martyrdom of the mujahed sheik Abu Musab al-Zarqawi,” said the statement, signed by “Abu Abdel-Rahman al-Iraqi,” identified as the deputy “emir” or leader of al-Qaeda in Iraq.

    You know, I’m thinking we should spread the joy even more. They’re happy, we’re happy … everyone wins.

  19. Am I the only one miffed because Victorino de la Vega’s handle mixes his car companies? And it’s Crown Vic, you philistine!

  20. I respect your crazy point of view, Dr. Vic. But, instead of all this frickin’ mind-bendingly complicated racist innuendo, and frustratingly subtle manipulation of “timing,” why can’t our Bushitler/Rovian master just shoot up the WaPo and NY Times, feed us some real inspiring hate-laced shit, and maybe get some work/internment/death camps going for those “ethnics”? If Bush wants those poll numbers to jump in Red State America, he’s going to have to give it to us hard, like we like it. No more of this sublte, pansy “choreographed” bullcrap. If they’re going to repress dissent and impose theocratic fascism, just frickin’ DO IT ALREADY.

    ENOUGH WITH THE PUSSY-FOOTING MR. BUSH!!!1!!!!

    BRING IT ON!!!!!!!11!

  21. What do you think we are going to do with the corpse?  I think we should have it stuffed and then Bush can keep it around the White House to entertain guests and what not.  If we ever have face to face meetings with Iran we can put it at the table and point it Adehminejad.  Just to deliver a message.

    Or we could feed it to pigs.  Whatever.

  22. Big E, Big E, Big E!!!!

  23. Dr Vic,

    We all appreciate the fact that you took some time to step away from the opium den to post a comment, but at least you can exhale before posting such shit……

  24. Dread Screed Scribbler links Dead Seed Dribbler …

    I see the doc’s connections. . .

  25. *And what can we possibly say of the striking resemblance between the pictures of Zarqawi’s inanimate corpse..”

    What it says is, “communists/socialists/terrorists/subversives should not pick a fight with the United States or you’ll end up dead.”

    Its short, to the point.  I like it.  More please and faster.

  26. *If we ever have face to face meetings with Iran we can put it at the table and point it Adehminejad.*

    cant.. stop… laughing…

    ITS THE 12TH IMAN !!!

  27. …to dead red

    tw:  lot

    of snake oil

  28. What about the striking resemblance to the Mona Lisa?  Everyone loves a conspiracy.

  29. I say we sneak Zarqawi’s head into Adehminejad bed, so that when he wakes up in the morning he gets the message.  We’ll make him an offer he can’t understand.

  30. JFK, RFK and MLK were all killed as well Doc Crazy, does that mean that Zarqawi or Che were Lutheran ministers or nothern Democrats?

  31. Carin,

    The only reason the deputy “emir” is happy? He just got a promotion.

  32. Hey, Doc, I hear you…literally.  Through my dental fillings… God is now telling me all about the Evil Rove and his Mad Timing Genius!

    Truth to power to the People!

  33. The only reason the deputy “emir” is happy? He just got a promotion.

    Promotions have proven unhealthy to many Al-Qaeda types………….

  34. “Peace be upon him.”

    Peace, JDAMs, whatever.  It’s all good.

  35. As for the rest of your screed, you’ve got the vapors again.

    Be nice to Dr. Vic. He lost a friend today.

  36. The only reason the deputy “emir” is happy? He just got a promotion.

    No, no, no – I’ve got a plan to make them all a LOT happier.  Not this transient, earthy happiness.

  37. Not to go all theological or anything, but as I understand it the Baquba bunker types would surely believe that once the Zarkman is done with any particular virgin, she will revert back to virginal form.  So he could presumably do anything he wanted, whether his weapon of choice is a butcher knife or that stubby pencil beneath his belly, it’s all good.

  38. “Can you believe it ? They even had time to put the photos in a frame”

    The answer is no: this shit is hard to believe…

    Maybe that’s just because, as the father of modern American-Israeli pseudo-scientific thought* once said:

    “plausibility is a great virtue in a scenario, one should, subject to other considerations, try to achieve it. But it is important not to limit oneself to the most plausible, conventional, or probable situations and behavior. History is likely to write scenarios that most observers would find implausible not only prospectively but sometimes, even, in retrospect. Many sequences of events seem plausible now only because they have actually occurred; a man who knew no history might not believe any. Future events may not be drawn from the restricted list of those we have learned are possible; we should expect to go on being surprised”

    * Herman Kahn (1922 – 1983)

    “Herman Kahn was a giant. He boldly confronted public issues with creativity and the conviction, in his case correct, that thought and analysis could help make ours a better world”

    Donald H. Rumsfeld (German war criminal)

  39. “Dr. Victorino de la Vega is one crazy motherf$cker”

    Big E (Nutroots Thought Criminal)

  40. the father of modern American-Israeli pseudo-scientific thought*

    Geez – this makes me pine to be twenty years younger and college-age again.  Because I would so want to major in that.

    Seriously, though, Vic – when are you going to explain to all of us how pig’s bladders cause earthquakes?

  41. Isn’t it weird that in Germany there’s a guy with the same name as our defense secretary, only the German’s a war criminal?  I wonder if there’s a German named de la Vega who’s sane.

    Which de la Vega has the goatee?

  42. Ever notice that the people who see conspiracy after conspiracy are the same people who keep hollering that we don’t have a plan?

  43. First Militant: *sigh*…

    Second Militant: I hate this cellar.  What I wouldn’t give for a nice walk in the woods.

  44. Hey.

    Dr Vic,

    Put this in your quavering quiver.

    Eerie.

    Ain’t it?

    Wait till you see what Rove will have choregraphed for

    Death To Osama Day.

    Aw Hell, I can’t hold myself back.

    As you’ve no doubt foreseen, Rove will have his minions begin to thaw Osama’s corpse so that it’s ready to create maximum impact upon the ‘06 elections.

    Natch.

    Then he, personally, raises Ronald Reagan from the dead.

    The Gipper appears wearing a Reagan in ‘08 cap.

    He’s 53 years old with no symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease.

    Exhaustive medical and scientific testing determines Rove is in fact Not Beelzebub. 

    In a 5-4 decision SCOTUS rules that the two-term limitation applies to each lifetime.

    Rove signs on as Reagan’s campaign advisor.

    Reagan fails to serve out the entirety of his second term.

    In NYC to commemorate 15 years since 9/11/01, Reagan encounters Bill Clinton and drops him with a sweet right uppercut.

    The photo on the front page of the NY Post freezes Reagan’s knuckles on Clinton’s chins with the headline reading

    “Bubba Feels His Pain”

    Gipper to Bubba: “REMEMBER THE COLE”

    Abashedly, Reagan tenders his resignation immediately.

    His term is completed by Vice-President George Prescott Bush.

    Further public service becomes impossible for President GPB

    when he is grievously wounded in California.

    A gunshot fired by an Aztlán Activist…

    Well, you can guess the rest.

    Right Doc?

    Buddy?

  45. First Militant: “So…”

    Second Militant: “Yeah?”

    First Militant: “Got a razor?”

    Second Militant: “Wait till we’re off duty, my brother, and I’ll show you my razor…”

    TW – blood.  Eeewwwww…

  46. And what can we possibly say of the striking resemblance between the pictures of Zarqawi’s inanimate corpse with those of Latin America’s most “subversive” revolutionary, Ernesto Che Guevara

    Looks more like Pancho Villa to me.

  47. Dear Dr Victorino de la Vega,

    I want to personally thank you for posting here today. Congratulations, you have entered the Jessie Macbeth zone. Your paranoia is so obvious, your lies are so transparent that you are now actually harming the anti-war “cause” more than ever before. Soon there will be talk on leftoid blogs that you are another Rove sock puppet, another psy-op by the evil GOP. Thank you very much. You have made it even less likely that the U.S.A. will choose to surrender to the jihadis. You may have saved American lives with your words today. Thank you, thank you, sir or madam!

    Sincerely,

    klrfz1

  48. If we ever have face to face meetings with Iran we can put it at the table and point it Adehminejad.

    Bush could have all kinds of fun with a stuffed Zark. Think of all the jolly diplomatic hi-jinks – it would make a good comedy.

    Weekend at Z-mans’.

  49. And it’s fucking Gran Torino!

  50. Marine Sniper:”Man, that was a good shot. Nice spotting Ed.”

    Marine Spotter: “Why thanks man. I consider that some of my finest work. That fucker hit dead center on the roof.”

    Marine Sniper: “I wonder if they have rifle training classes in hell, because that dumbass sure was useless with a rifle in his hand.”

    Marine Spotter: “True, but I bet he and OJ will be able to teach some other weapon classes together.”

    Marine Sniper: “True. Hey- Is that those two idiot militants that gave him away standin’ over there?”

    Marine Spotter: “I believe it is. Why don’t you shoot out the light over their heads so they can have some quality time.”

  51. Dusty date farmer (with $25 mil in a swiss account): *wipes sweat from brow* Well, that’s that.

  52. Stephen_M…

    That was the funniest thing I’ve read in months.  Thank you!

  53. Overheard inside a Baquba bunker, Thursday, June 8

    First militant:  “So…”

    Second militant:  “So.”

    First militant: “Do you hear…boots?”

    And cue From the “It certainly could have been worse” files, #127

  54. I would like to give a heads up to any other punctuation futures traders out there that Dr. Vic has seemed to eschew the slash completely and be investing heavily in quotation marks now.  I don’t know how widespread this movement, or if it may develop into a long term trend, but it is worth keeping an eye on.

  55. First Militant: You gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you going to bite?

    Second Militant: What di you just say to me?

    First Militant: You gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you going to bite?

  56. For the love of G*d, Jeff, isn’t there an option to put comment authors names before their comments.  I accidentally read the first sentence of one of Dr. Victor/Victoria’s screeds and could actually feel a couple of my brain cells scream and die.

  57. ITS THE 12TH IMAN !!!

    Does David Bowie know this?

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