March 22, 2006

Overheard inside a Salah Ad Din bunker

First militant: “I must say, Widaad, I do not find the sound of heavily-armed enemy weaponry buzzing over our heads very…pleasing to the senses.”*

Second militant: “Nor do I, Amal.  Nor do I.  But I will say this:  I very much enjoyed your use of litotes in describing our dire predicament.  There’s just such a… sophistication to you, my brother.  And if you don’t mind my saying so, you are a genuine pleasure to share a ramshackle, corrugated tin leanto with.  Sincerely.  I wouldn’t want to be here now with anyone else in the whole world, Allah be praised.”

First militant: “‘Litotes.’ That’s …Greek, is it not?”

Second militant: “Indeed it is, Amal.  Indeed it is.”

Second militant: “By the way, did I mention how very much I enjoy our time here together in this lonely, out of the way, ramshackle and corrugated tin leanto?  Because I really, really, really do, Amal.  Lots and lots.  If you know what I mean.”

First militant: “Uh huh.  I could have you beheaded for such talk—you realize this, right, Widaad?”

Second militant:

Second militant: “So…is that, like, a no then, or…?

Posted by Jeff G. @ 3:00am
18 comments | Trackback

Comments (18)

  1. I wish I knew how to quit- BOOM!

  2. Brokeback Bunker~!

  3. Brokeback Spiderhole…

  4. ha! i almost brought this article from Mudville Gazzette up earlier when someone mentioned press coverage. How much are they drinking? or can i have some of what they are smoking? I think it would help the time pass faster.

    Q General, this is Joe Tabet with Al Hurra Channel. Would you please give us more details about the Swarmer operation? What kind of resistance are you facing in Samarra?

    So the General tries to explain once again:

    GEN. CHIARELLI: First of all, Swarmer was an operation out in the desert. It really marks a change, and it marks an evolution—our ability to get outside many of the large metropolitan areas and begin to do and conduct operations based on intelligence we receive both from U.S. sources, from Iraqi sources in areas where we think insurgent networks are operating. And that’s really why the size of the operation was the way it was, is that it was a huge area—10 kilometers by 10 kilometers (sic) [10 miles by 10 mile].

  5. Sounds like somebody needs to perform maintenance on their weapon.

  6. Both of these guys will end up at Yale, the one with the innuendo and the one who would kill gays.  And then Yale will preen about its coup in keeping these guys from going to Harvard.

  7. Damn.  Why you gotta stick me for my paper, Jeff?

  8. The sad fact is that at least among the Taliban homosexuality is rife. Can’t do the women, so they do the next best thing. Of course, it’s all hush-hush because wanton sinners are punished with falling walls and somesuch.

    Islam’s gay troops!

  9. Musli, how do you know that?

  10. I went damn near 50 years without ever once hearing or reading the word “litotes” and then I run into some show off who has to pretty much stuff it into something once a week.  Even if he has to manufacture that something into which it is stuffed.  Armadillo, watch your behind, there’s a litotes sneaking up on it, I’m sure.

    That’s right, ‘dillo, it “almost” got me, too.

  11. Michael: That whole region (northwest) of the South Asian subcontinent is very well known for rampant homosexuality. They’ll even abduct young good-looking men and rape them. I’ve also heard that WSouth Asian gay “videos” (if you know what I mean and I know you do) are made primarily in that region. They’re very much into twinks (actually, prepubescent males). (Although in their defense, both the men and the women are quite good-looking.)

    A cousin of mine went to Peshawar with a friend of his. They grew some stubble before they left and didn’t shave until they came back. Why? Because if they were clean-shaven, there might be a chance they’d get abducted.

    Plus:

    1. Homosexual activity is quite common in many (though not all) all-male institutions.

    2. Add the fact that most Talibanis are Pashto (meaning they come from the region known for homosexuality) with the fact that the Taliban is an all-male institution, and you get the obvious.

  12. Marine Sniper:”So seriously Abu, you guys are kicking some ass these days.”

    Iraqi Armed Forces Sniper:”Couldn’t have done it without you my friend. Praise be to Allah for the US Military.”

    Marine Sniper:”Man. Those idiots in that bunker over there would sure freak out if they heard you say that, huh.”

    Iraqi Armed Forces Sniper:”I wish they would. They hide like roaches behind that schoolyard. Even with your rifle I can’t safely remove them from this distance.”

    Marine Sniper:”Patience my friend. As they say in the Army, If you have but one shot at an opportunity, make it count.”

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