August 8, 2014

“Jesse Ventura fires back on O’Reilly, Palin & Anderson Cooper”

Got that in my email just now an immediately thought, “Gee. I hope in ‘firing back’ he didn’t accidentally take out any widows or the kids of a war hero.” I mean, I have no idea what kind of shot he is — just that he was a fake wrestler for a time, and has spent the last few years going increasingly insane.

Hence my worry.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 11:25am

Comments (23)

  1. Naw.. He just shot himself in the reputation again.. His’ good name’ is dead.

  2. His’ good name’ is dead.

    yeah, I saw “Predator”, too… oh, wait, you mean because of him stealing the money from the widow and children of a real war hero? IANAL, but can’t she appeal the verdict? (The tobacco companies always do.) I always thought “Truth is an absolute defense”, not to mention “public figures can’t be slandered (absent provable malice)” and there were many witnesses to Jesse getting the feces beaten out of him.

    I mean, it’s not like the widow claimed that the sitting President ordered the death of 3,000 civilians in a hijacking attack or anything…

  3. I think it’s a settlement, not a verdict. But I also think right-minded Americans should have the right to horsewhip Ventura 1.5 million times, just on general principles.

  4. Chuck Norris: Jesse Ventura? Never heard of her.

  5. From newspaper coverage:

    On Tuesday, the judge offered attorneys on both sides another solution: accept a verdict that was less than unanimous. Neither camp knew where the jury stood or what kind of split would produce a decision. Ventura’s attorneys were willing to accept a verdict from as few as six jurors; the Kyle estate wanted at least eight.

    The judge first told the jury they could return a verdict with nine votes, according to notes made public after the trial. After they told him that wouldn’t get them anywhere, he told them they could get by with eight. Both sides agreed to accept a split verdict, and within a few hours, jurors delivered their 8-2 decision.

    So it wasn’t quite a settlement, but rather an agreement by both sides to accept a non-unanimous verdict. Ms. Kyle retains the right to appeal, but I’m not sure how much more publicity she really wants right now. She’ll be forced to provide for her children using what remains of her husband’s seven-figure book royalties, plus the seven-digit check they got for the movie rights.

    On the evidence: both sides produced witnesses from the bar where the altercation happened. Some said Ventura got popped, others said they saw no such thing. Ventura’s lawyers provided photographs of appearances he made in the days following the event. In the photos, he shows no signs of bruising or cuts to his face, in contradiction of Kyle’s claim to have given him two black eyes. Given the contradictory witness testimony, this argument definitely swung the trial in Ventura’s favor.

    Look: I understand that Ventura is a nutjob, and a narcissist, and a fairly toxic person all-around. But from what I saw of the trial coverage, I thought his legal team did a pretty good job of presenting their case, and I really wasn’t surprised by the outcome. For better or worse, the law treats assholes the same way it treats church ladies. Take some consolation in knowing that he’s been drummed out of polite society, and that he has to wake up every morning knowing that he’s Jesse Ventura.

  6. If I’d been on that jury I might have offered to be the ninth vote if Ventura agreed to let Mrs. Kyle give him two black eyes.

  7. Since Jesse is attacking Palin, will the left embrace him?

    Magic 8-ball says, “They have no principles, so yes, they will.”

  8. squid

    there’s one huge problem with the trial — one of the two parties involved couldn’t testify.

    dead people make lousy witnesses

    Ventura [spit] is as innocent as OJ.

  9. I think you’re missing the point, Squid. He sued the widow and kids of a SEAL, in effect, because the SEAL he intended to sue was killed.

    End of story.

  10. Bleg: Anyone a fan of G.K. Chesterton? Which of his volumes is his best?

  11. To preface, 1) I’m no lawyer but like to pretend, and 2) I think the regard (or lack thereof) for Mrs Ventura expressed above is about as universal as it gets.

    So. operating from a modest education and (it’s been said), super human common sense, I’m wondering charitably if Mrs Ventura was not actually going after the widow, per say, but the ones paying the widow. Seeing as they benefitted from whatever attention the alleged bitch-slapping of Mrs Ventura generated, and is being passed along in the form of increased revenue generated from the heretofore mentioned bitch-slapping.

    This is the kind of thing that probably happens a thousand times a day in the United State of Attorneys, this only gaining added attention due to the above referenced universal recognition of Mrs Ventura’s history of leaning into a bitch-slap.

    And the joy it brings.

  12. The effort I’m engaging in Squid is to speak the truth about the man so that no one of good conscience will walk within a thousand yards of his stench. As he’s a “nutjob”, “narcissist”, and “fairly toxic person all-around” then we’ll all agree that this is a smart societal practice.

    He still gets to keep the money. No one is saying we should break into his house and steal back this money.

  13. Indeed, yes, he’s much like OJ. He’s been acquitted. He faces no danger of once again being alluded to by this dead man as being a straight-up bitch.

  14. But, as bystanders, we can draw our own conclusions here, right?

    That he’s a straight-up bitch? That he’s a demagogue? That those hanging on his words suffer from learning disabilities?

    Surely third parties aren’t bound by any sort of agreement between the dead man and the living demagogue here. We can, honestly and truthfully, mention how Jesse Ventura is a mad whore.

  15. To paraphrase R. Lee Ermey, Miss Ventura: ‘You are a puke. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even a human fucking being. You are nothing but an unorganized grabastic piece of amphibian shit! ‘ [Pardon my French Marine]

  16. The problem is, Squid, that no reasonable jury could believe that an anecdote in a book could damage the reputation of this moronic, lying truther.

  17. Jesse Ventura. Living proof that in the WWE, the bouts may be scripted, but the brain damage is very, very real.

  18. Ventura’s brain damage seems to have been (pardon my French) progressive, as he didn’t come off as batshit crazy back during the ’90s, and really only became obviously so after 9/11.

  19. Well Huckabee just tried to use his weekend show to whip the crazy purists back into the GOP because using the term RINO is arrogant or something.

    Sorry Huckabee. I’m not voting for Cornyn. donating to the GOP, don’t care how you feel about it, and won’t follow you leftward more slowly. Not even to “save the country” from the chicago thug politics of the very people Boehner keeps trying to sell what’s left of it too, and not to bring us all together, because we are not together on issues. Dismiss it at your peril. Reince’s btichy fund raising letter went in the trash where it belongs.

    I have as much regard for the GOP as it does for its own base and old platform. Shame on you you fat, simpering, irrelevant shill. I’m the SEA party, screwed enough already.

  20. this is just so not an issue

    this is just messy human people rubbing up against each other

    sometimes the outcomes are surprising in ways we find to lack a certain aesthetic

    but you know what I wouldn’t change it for the world

  21. here‘s another interesting and of-the-moment defamation lawsuit what captures the moment in an in-the-moment way i think

    and about this

    personally i think

    number one you don’t let your mouth write checks your ass can’t cash sweet Utah-based pickles

    number two i think FGL needs a more professional agent

  22. Bleg: Anyone a fan of G.K. Chesterton? Which of his volumes is his best?

    read Heretics, then Orthodoxy, then, The Everlasting Man

    in that order.

    (And if any of yuse ultraviolent mind-numbed robot followers of The Cult of Jeff G. would be so kind as to point Di back this way, I’d owe you a solid. Not that you’d ever be able to collect. Because I live in a hidden bunker underneath a rusted out van down by the river –and you’ll never find me!)

  23. “Well Huckabee just tried to use his weekend show to whip the crazy purists back into the GOP because using the term RINO is arrogant or something. – See more at:

    Hey, Mike, those four cops of yours still dead?