July 3, 2014

Overheard inside a Baghdad bunker, Thursday, July 3

First ISIS militant:  “Assure me, Aswad, that at the time of the Great Zero Hour offensive against the western-coddling puppet government of Iraq, the paper tiger American fighting men won’t stand in our way, with their big guns and their devilish air power.”

2nd ISIS militant:  “They shan’t, my brother.  They have seen the error of their ways and, through the urging of the Muslim Brotherhood, are acceding to the coming of the new Caliphate, praise be to Allah.”

First ISIS militant:  “And assure me, Aswad, that when we do regain control of Mesopotamia, we shall bathe righteously in the blood of the unclean infidels who have polluted our religion with their western apings — allowing women to drive, or vote, or roam about largely uncovered, their bosoms heaving in the desert heat, sweat droplets pooling up before enjoying the slow, salty slide down their supple curves.”

2nd ISIS militant:  “We shall enjoy just such a righteous cleansing, brother.  This I promise.  And our women will return to their proper station, there to serve and birth our progeny.  Praise be to Allah, peace be upon him.”

First ISIS militant: “And assure me this, Aswad:  that when this righteous cleansing is through, and the soil of the Caliphate is purged of the Great Satan’s imperial influence, returning the dominion of all sacred ground over to men of purity and religious zeal, that I shall be able to keep my Corey Hart CDs, and maybe, say, one Madonna CD — an early one, of course, from before she became so much like a stringy, toughened man.

2nd ISIS militant:

2nd ISIS militant:

2nd ISIS militant:  “You are lucky I don’t disembowel you on principle alone, brother.   But then, I just can’t quit you.  So. Your secret is safe with me.”

First ISIS militant: “Bless you, Aswad.  I do so much like wearing my sunglasses at night.  I just can’t seem to help myself.”


Posted by Jeff G. @ 12:34pm

Comments (20)

  1. Never surrender!

  2. Papa, don’t preach!

  3. I won’t ever surrender. But sadly, it ain’t enough.

  4. – Unemployment is at 6.4% according to the government and Mr. Bumblefuck.

    – The center cannot hold.

    – He’ll be very lucky if he makes it to the end of his rein.

  5. – Continuing the thought from a previous thread, I sense that the Left is scared shitless to soften their insane attacks for fear the whole mess will come crashing down on their heads.

    – They have good reason to be scared. Its what happens when you are foolish enough to grab the tiger by the tail. They will all get what they deserve. I live for the day when being a Progressive is looked on similar to being a child molester, and with the same results.

    – And absolutely no mercy. None.

  6. But wait – isn’t the Left guaranteed to be eaten last?

    So what’s the worry?

  7. This morning’s jobs report said the unemployment rate was 6.1% in June, the lowest level since September of 2008 when candidate Obama was pointing to the number as a sign of leadership failure.

  8. Anal jihad? Holy crap!

  9. Never surrender!

    And never give up!

  10. Greetings:

    Isn’t Aswad’s name one “s” short ???

  11. xenophobe

  12. This morning’s jobs report said the unemployment rate was 6.1% in June, the lowest level since September of 2008

    “Because remember: when it comes to jobs, it is only the quantity that matters, never the quality.”

  13. “Because remember: when it comes to jobs, it is only the quantity that matters, never the quality.”

    Note also:
    Between January 2004 and January of 2009, the pool of people not in the workforce increased by 5.2 million. Between January 2009 and January of 2014, the pool increased by 10.2 million. In the last five months, there has been an additional increase of 665,000.

  14. Heh-heh. Heh-heh. He said “Ass-wad.” Heh. Heh. Heh.

    – Beavis

  15. Dammit 11B40!

  16. Would have loved to be a fly on the wall in other radical islamic organizations when ISIS announced they were the Islamic caliphate.

    Ba haa haa haaa … good times.

    Related – watched “Lone Survivor” last night. Good movie, and won’t quibble with the liberties. I’ve been doing “the Murph” every monday in honor of Michael Murphy – having read the book ,etc. i will have renewed vigor this monday.

  17. I have it rented and will watch it tonight, Car

  18. When your night is cold and dark, you can see light!

  19. Eurasian eyes are smiling in the jihadi camp tonight.