May 6, 2014

a CITIZEN JOURNALIST experiences his first real taste of “white privilege” — and likes it!

Earlier this morning I picked up a bunch of cans of Progresso soup at Safeway.  Not really unusual for me — I’m a big soup for lunch guy — but here’s the kicker:   when I went to check out, the clerk — a white lady in her early fifties, if I had to guess — double bagged the potentially unruly cans, and without my even asking that she please do so.

I can’t say for certain, but my guess is the Hispanics around these parts?  Get a single skimpy plastic bag to tote their menudo cans back home in.  If they’re lucky.  Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if the clerk just tossed the individual tins into the cart and gave it a gentle kick toward the door.

Do I feel guilty, enjoying such specialized treatment?  A little, sure.  But shit.  I’m white.  What the hell can I do, fight it…?

Posted by Jeff G. @ 11:40am

Comments (39)

  1. Can we be certain the clerk, being an enlightened white-priviledger, didn’t have in mind that you should use the prophylactically bagged cans in the manner of a soap-bar in a sock, so to take a beating from yourself?

  2. Not using coupons and buying Progresso soups rather than Generic Store Brand Soup?

    Check your privilege, indeed Sir!

  3. Flower has now denied 57 consecutive attempts by the New York Rangers to violate his crease.

    For those of you keeping score at home.

  4. Uh huh. And I bet at least one of those cans consisted of Minestrone, you Appropriator, you.

  5. *spurned*

  6. I’ll bet you’ve never even attended a proper Italian wedding. And yet you’ll scarf down the soup like you own it.

  7. I hope you weren’t engaging in cultural appropriation by purchasing Italian Style Wedding, Chicken Cheese Enchilada, or Masala Curry Butternut Squash.
    Because that would be raaaaacist.

  8. ‘Progresso’, huh?

    I’m of half-Italian descent and half of me resents your physical appropriation of my culture, you…you Visigoth!

  9. I bet you used a public road to get to the store you anti-govt hypocrite.

  10. his first real taste of “white privilege”

    Served best lightly sauteed in garlic and olive oil, with a side of red beans and rice (because you be hating them black beans).

  11. Red beans and rice? No way! White navy beans only.

  12. *Gasp!* The Princeton magazine that published that kid’s essay on white privilege was funded by the Collegiate Network whose parent group, the Intercollegiate Studies Institute, was founded in THE MCCARTHY ERA!!!!!! OMG!


  13. First real taste? Yeah right. Your first taste of white privilege was surviving Margaret Sanger, and you have done nothing but coast since!

  14. Well, it was Progresso soup, so perhaps the clerk was merely expressing solidarity with you as being down for the struggle.

    If it had been Conservato soup, she might have opened the cans, spit in them, and then poured them on your shoes.

  15. I can buy any European-origin soup I like since the European Union came into existence. And Mexican food and Canadian bacon too, because NAFTA.

    Globalism is White Privilege Imperialism, and I’m-a get me some every day of the week. Just call me El Diablo Blanco.

  16. My first job that I got completely on my own was washing dishes in a Chinese restaurant owned by a recent immigrant. So was the boss in on this whole white privilege thing?


  17. Clearly the owner was trying to keep you down by usurping your white privilege with a job usually given to Spanish speaking types.

  18. …and the fact you were given the job instead of a Spanish-speaking type was a slap in the face of the whole Spanish language. Which your boss would have called a win-win if he’d grown up speaking White People’s Language.

  19. In Austin you have to pay $.10 per crappy “shopping style” reusable plastic bag and pay for them BEFORE you bag up your groceries. Sometimes they have paper bags with handles that are purely ornamental. Some people buy fancy looking but cheaply made woven bags like those shopping totes you get for donating to public television.

    You are supposed to bring your old $.10 bags instead of ordering more. I think the city has suggested that they might take the reusable bags away too somehow if we don’t deal with them wisely enough, or something. They also want to charge tolls to use the interstate in town, and in return they will free up the turnpike they built that sort of goes around Austin. They want to do this because most people avoid the damned turnpike as much as possible. So naturally they don’t want it anymore so they’re offering to swap for I-35.

    I dislike the abuses Austin’s very tony Tarrytown dwelling city council heaps upon her. Their new city hall looks like a damned art museum with all the marble and atmospheric lighting.

  20. “because you be hating them black beans)”

    Black beans are fine as long as they are wrapped in a white flour tortilla or have some orange cheese on top of them. Is that a Boehner crack I just made? I don’t even know anymore.

  21. “I’ll bet you’ve never even attended a proper Italian wedding. And yet you’ll scarf down the soup like you own it.”

    Yeah and some Italian will have to eat the clam chowder or hearty chunky beef stew because you metaphorically put his heritage on a slave ship(pantry or canned good cabinet) and chained it to your plantation (bowl) and fed on it until it was of no further use to you. BALKANIZED ETHNIC SOUP RIGHTS NOW!

  22. I’d accuse Jeff of driving the Italian wedding to extinction, but it turns out that every Italian wedding winds up creating even more Italian weddings. I’m pretty sure it’s a Catholic thing.

    So: still an imperialist appropriator, but at least it’s sustainable!

  23. Your white privilege doesn’t help you get this awesome joke.

    It’s supposed to say, “My God, My God, why hast thou forsaken me?” but the illiterate rendering of “me has abandonado” has it saying, “why dost thou piss alone?”

  24. I piss alone because I am white and it is a privilege I was given.

  25. “Check your privilege!”

    “It’s fine: I topped it off yesterday.”

    :: bows::

  26. i want to know more about billy ayers and al sharpton’s “proggtard priviledge”

  27. “Flower has now denied 57 consecutive attempts by the New York Rangers to violate his crease. ”

    That’s nothing…my first girlfriend denied thousands of attempts by me to violate her crease.

  28. We’re getting together a petition to get a local man hired as 3rd-grade teacher at our local elementary school. He will wear women’s clothing to work everyday and is trans. I want my child to have him as a teacher because I’m open minded.

    Because of the crony capitalism and concentration of wealth, we need to have the government tax the rich a lot more, like Pickety says. The only cure for crony capitalism is to give the government vastly more power and wealth than we already give it. I’m not comfortable with the Tea Party’s solution of small government because they’re very Christian, very narrow, very Leave It To Beaver in style (I’m more John Stewart because I’m cool like that) and because it means some people will get much more rich than others which isn’t social justice. Occupy was alright, but they got baked too much and couldn’t get anything done.

    Together with the slothful parasites, the hard leftists and the crony capitalists, I am in a very powerful electoral coalition which will elect Hillary.

  29. May all your wishes come to pass Jim. Be seeing you.

  30. Geoffb, I know who your icon is: Gendo Ikari from Evangelion. What a show, huh?

  31. Congratulations. I was in a foul mood and your satire fooled me what with all the odd trolls lately. Sdferr set me straight.

  32. Eva was great. Watched it with my son who is also a big fan.

  33. Next time some sonofabitch tries to guilt trip me with white you didn’t build that privilege, I’m going to tell him off with

    At this point, what difference does it make?

  34. Silly me. I bag my own groceries. (Then again, since I work nights and usually maintain a night-shift sleep pattern, I end up going to 24hr grocery stores with those automated checkouts, so I have to bag them myself.)

  35. A Question Arises: Do the bag men in Washington bag their own groceries?

  36. I don’t think they even bag their own hookers.

  37. “Not using coupons and buying Progresso soups rather than Generic Store Brand Soup? Check your privilege, indeed Sir! ”

    Scratch that..

    Not using your EBT card to buy Progresso soups ? Check your privilege, indeed Sir! “

  38. Better! Thanks.