October 2, 2005

The “The trouble with Oktoberfest” post

The trouble with Oktoberfest, if you happen to be of a certain disposition, is that you may very well find yourself at evening’s end drunk on St Pauli Girl, sitting in the bathroom with a pair of professional-grade hair clippers and no idea how properly to use them.  Which means that when you wake up in the morning to urinate, you could very well frighten yourself half to death simply by passing in front of the medicine chest mirror.  If you happen to be of a certain disposition, I mean.

Oh.  And all the filthy Germans don’t help, either.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 1:26pm

Comments (22)

  1. Especially if they’re wearing lederhosen with bare chests.

  2. …and their flabby man-titties are hanging out…

    trw: Together. We can get through this together if you have an extra-strength Advil or two.

  3. It sounds like someone might be going for the bald look soon.  Or perhaps already has.

  4. Friends don’t let friends clip drunk.

  5. Octoberfest…we should never have looted that, but hey, the boys overseas were under a little stress.

    TW “horse” as in those square heads are NOT of a different colour.

  6. Hey, now!  There’s nothing wrong with Oktoberfest.  It’s the clippers that cause problems.  I woke up hung over and bald one day when I was around 21 or 22.  Some of the decidedly unfriendly looks I got in public made me realize very quickly that a shaved head is not the smartest look for a young, blondish white guy.  If you’re going on a real Oktoberfest-type bender you gotta lock up the keys, clippers, phone, and internet or you’re in truly terrible peril.

  7. Stick to Belgian beer.  You’ll only wake up with an urge to form a bureaucracy.

  8. Who are you calling filthy?  Germans are great.  They even had the decency to name a beer after me.

    Now if you’ll pardon me, I have some gypsies to gas.

  9. Screen-capture of Jeff’s new look here.

  10. Do they have St Pauli Girl at Oktoberfest. I thought it was only the Munich beers?

  11. You forgot to mention the goat.

  12. Bill, it makes him look like Le Compte de Sainte Germaine. Though I sort of already suspected that’s who he was already.

    TW: “new,” as in “What’s the big deal about a _new_ haircut?”


  14. I question the TSINGTAO!

    I mean, what’s an Asian beer got to do to get included in Oktoberfest, after all?

  15. Folks, you’ve heard of the Hashishim? 

    Yeah, that’s Jeff.

    Minus the assassinating people bit.

  16. Jeff,

    This isn’t a response to the GABF were you?  I had a great time until the end of the event when my companions were debating whether to go to the Gennesse Cream Ale or the Schlitz Malt Liquor booths.

    Gotta tell ya, Schlitz isn’t smooth, in any direction.

  17. Real German Oktoberfests don’t have St. Pauli Girl … well, at least according to a German beer store proprietor I once crossed.  He told me “that sh!t’s for export only … it doesn’t meet the Germans own standards for brewing purity, so they export it all to suckers like you.” Then he descended into babbling some crap about reich this and joooos that and I just bought a case of Guinness and got the hell out of there.

  18. Reinheitsgebot!

  19. And then there’s the eternal mystery:  why is it ein glas Kognac, but it’s ein stuck bier?

  20. … all the filthy Germans…


    Call ‘em Krauts

  21. We prefer “Huns.”

  22. I got as far as Jeff in the bathroom with a pair of hair-clippers and I thought he was doing a Gannon or something.  Leave the barbers out of your filthy gay porn!@!