February 25, 2014


Wife out of town on business, a sick baby, and an older son who needs rides to and from school — then has to go to practice — leaves me no time to tell you about how your country is going into the shitter. Except to say your country is going into the shitter. Rapidly. Like, it drank the water in Mexico-rapidly.


Posted by Jeff G. @ 12:06pm

Comments (46)

  1. Jeff, if you need a pick-me-up, follow @yesnicksearcy‘s timeline for a bit. It’s hella funny — he knows exactly what the concern trolls are up to and he calls them on it while thwapping them down hard.

    Nick’s a generous man: he’s glad to let others thwap the trash fish he attracted with his chum.

  2. However, you run the risk of being put back in the gulag THE VERY EFFING DAY AFTER YOU GET OUT.

    Nick attracts some vindictive little snot rags, as I’m sure you know. They can’t report a verified account for SPAM so they go after his defenders.

  3. It’s not my country. It turns out it was the preening, angry, self-elited, incoherent, fad-chasing, joiner assholes that compose polite society’s country all along.

    You can’t boil a frog by slowly turn up the heat but it works like a charm on sheep. Anyone who jumps out is a goat and bound for eternal darkness in the wasteland where roads never meet. Lesson learned.

    I wish I could go back and tell the piano playing 2nd grade teacher of my youth that the national anthem really was in vain and “This Land is Your Land” was all we needed to learn apart from a shitty approximation of the ‘Boomp-ti-ada Boomp-ti-ada’ song that you play with your knuckles.,

  4. What? Don’t you have a pen and a phone? I’m informed by Top Men that that’s all you really need.

  5. Heart and Soul I think it was called? Irony. Pure Irony. Six fucking heartbreaks thick.

  6. Nukes were too good for the likes of us. We were always more of a ‘worms gnawing at the root’ sort of problem.

  7. Toxic little Qu…… iddditch players!

    About 80% start out with

    “Wow. I used to respect @yesnicksearcy but now that I’ve seen these immature Twitter rants, I don’t know how I can watch @JustifiedFX anymore.”

    The other 20% say

    “Wow. I had to look up who @yesnicksearcy was. Now that I’ve seen these immature Twitter rants, I won’t be checking out @JustifiedFX .”

    Note the inclusion of his employer, because they’re all a bunch of smug little tattle-tales.

    @yesnicksearcy I'm more disappointed in the tweets which I see as combative, immature, and hateful. I like you, but those were bad choices.— dh405 (@dh405) February 25, 2014

    Yeah. That’s usually the next one. Concern-trolling.

    Some of us have tried to clue in the Toxic Little Twitterers to the fact that they’re being punked by a parody of the caricature of a conservative that lives in their heads. This is always followed by pouting about how “being mean like that isn’t a good way to go about it” or they utterly miss the point. Or pretend to, because that High Horse is awfully comfy.

    EXCEPTION: One Twitterlocutor kept at it long enough that she twigged to the joke. She and I and another Searcy defender ended up having a fun little exchange of barbs until it got late and we went to bed.

    It was when she said that Nick should leave the comedy to the professionals, so I said, “Hey Nick! Are you a professional comedian? Paid gigs or anything?” and he said, “Gosh, I don’t know where all these checks are coming from. Maybe the Koch Brothers!”

    She then got what the deal was and ended up being cool about it.

    That’s the only one, though. The rest of them either complain about what a big fat meany Searcy is or complain that he blocked them.

    As if they should hog all his precious troll-thwapping time.

  8. Love it. Short and succinct.

  9. In other news, Rubio rips Cuba, Venezuela, and Useful Idiots ::coffTomHarkincoff:: a new one.

    Definitely worth the listen.

  10. The 6:00pm news just came on. KVUE(ABC).

    2nd blurb?

    ” A puppy suffers serious burns: How you can help him to recover. ”

    SERIOUSLY? That’s the 2nd biggest news item you think I should know about? SERIOUSLY?

    Austin should just change it’s name to Terminally-stupid-no-plastic-bags-allowed-asshole-ville.

  11. Fuck you TV! You’re how all the stupid gets into my house!

  12. oozing along on your livingroom floor

  13. Fuck you TV! You’re how all the stupid gets into my house!

    If “my house” is a metaphor for the body politic, then, yeah.

    It’s also why I’ve argued that second-hand pop culture is a far more pernicious threat than second-hand smoke ever was.

  14. Breitbart just felt it necessary to report on a Hollywood writer’s tweet about a lack of originality brought on by plans to remake the Odd Couple (sitcom).

    Is that meta? Semi-meta? Does it even matter if it’s meta really?

    Is the demand for superfluous cult of personality oriented trivia about entertainment really this damned high?

    Is our country pretty much a cargo cult simulacrum of a cargo cult simulacrum now? Are we going to be the first non-respresentative abstract country? Is it art? Is it Devo?

  15. I’m having a reverse panic attack. Everything is nuts and it’s calming me down.

    I feel like “Oh hey shark. You enjoying the boat and my legs? Whatever. Old Quint doesn’t care no more. Eat’cher fill. Just one more mess in the messy ol’ ocean don’t’cha know. “

  16. shitter news

    At one point during the morning meeting at the White House, the president even warned Republicans he would strike back if they complained about potential cuts to the National Guard.

    “He said, ‘If I hear any of you pushing back, making statements about Washington spends too much money, you will hear from me.,’” recalled Texas Gov. Rick Perry during a news conference at the Chamber of Commerce following the meeting. “I don’t mind telling you I was a bit troubled today by the tone of the president.”


  17. Posted at 7:20pm, the video is already taken down. Still, some pic, eh?

  18. Huh. My Twitter account is active again.

    Also, Everything is nuts and it’s calming me down.

    I’ll take care of that: Skynet is upon us.

    Scary, scary interview. The Google Giants spent most of their time downplaying the Big Issues that Glenn was raising. “Nothing can go wrong, because we won’t let it,” was about 2/3 of their communication.

    As Pat said, it sounded like they were saying EVERYTHING IS AWESOME! from The Lego Movie.

    It was hard to tell if they really believed in their omnipotence or if it was a studied reaction to tell John Conner to go live in Tahiti, because We Got This.

    The country is in the best of hands.

  19. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L3dq9dxEf2c

    SNL: Dan Akroyd of Mainway Toys vs. Consumer Prone’s Jane Curtin.

  20. I dunno palaeo, but I kinda think that looks as much like Candice Bergen as it does Curtin, though them honky wymens do all look alike to me.

  21. Amazing how the word “fat,” just the assertion of it, gets them all wound up.


  22. fat news

    Michelle Obama announces new rules for advertising junk food at schools
    Even the scoreboards in high school gyms will have to advertise only healthy foods under new rules announced Tuesday by the Obama administration.


  23. Yeah it is Candace Bergen. Tiny off screen image in the middle of a youtube player in a window threw me off.

  24. gets them all wound up

    They’re ashamed of how fat their tweets look in those pants.

  25. I’ve been doing happy fat jokes about the last piece of lasagna being worth fighting for, and showing up on google maps but nobody’s biting.

    Nor is Breitbart reporting on any of my tweets. Which is good.

  26. Caroline Glick gives us a preview of her forthcoming book, The Israeli Solution: A One-State Plan for Peace in the Middle East. We can hope that a vigorous, fresh, synoptic view of the horizon of Israeli existence will shake up the stale mind-deadening run of the mill current impasse prominently led by ClownDisasterSecOState billionheiress John Kerry.

  27. Meantime, cleaning up the neighborhood.

  28. >Caroline Glick gives us a preview of her forthcoming book <

    she wants johnheinzkerry v1.0 to think differently? i'm sorry those bots aren't reprogrammable.

  29. Taking off his turban they said “Is this man a Jew?”
    ‘Cause working for the clampdown
    They put up a poster saying “We earn more than you”
    When working for the clampdown

    We will teach our twisted speech
    To the young believers
    We will train our blue-eyed men
    To be young believers

    The judge said “Five to ten” But I say “Double that again”
    I’m not working for the clampdown
    No man born with a living soul
    Can be working for the clampdown

    Kick over the wall ’cause government’s to fall
    How can you refuse it?
    Let fury have the hour anger can be power
    Do you know that you can use it?

    Voices in your head are calling
    Stop wasting your time there’s nothing coming
    Only a fool would think someone could save you

    The men at the factory are all old and cunning
    You don’t owe nothing boy get runnin’
    It’s the best years of your life they want to steal

    Well you grow up and you calm down
    And you’re working for the clampdown
    You start wearing blue and brown
    And working for the clampdown

    So you got someone to boss around
    It make you feel big now
    You drift until you brutalize
    You make your first kill now

    In these days of evil presidents
    Working for the clampdown
    But lately one or two has fully paid their due
    For working for the clampdown


  30. I don’t know if this is true or not, but I laughed.


  31. Palaeo asked: Is that meta? Semi-meta? Does it even matter if it’s meta really?

    Answer: It doesn’t really meta anymore – it’s all gone to Hell.

  32. An Odd Couple remake?

    No doubt this one will be a love story.

  33. >Well you grow up and you calm down And you’re working for the clampdown You start wearing blue and brown And working for the clampdown So you got someone to boss around It make you feel big now You drift until you brutalize You make your first kill now <

    hi big butt 1st lady

  34. Re: sdferr’s link to Legal Insurrection. He’s stretching a bit; the similarities to Trayvon’s shooting aren’t that marked.

    What shocks me is that the perp was so enraged on his wedding night. Beating up a taxi driver, then a uniformed cop, getting himself killed? Was it a “SURPRISE!” gay wedding, I wonder?

  35. “Honey, there’s something I forgot to mention…”

  36. Oh, well.
    The sooner we go Venezuela, the sooner we citizenry get to go all Venezuela!


  37. What shocks me is that the perp was so enraged on his wedding night. Beating up a taxi driver, then a uniformed cop, getting himself killed? Was it a “SURPRISE!” gay wedding, I wonder?

    Mean drunk is more likely.

  38. His bride probably dodged a bullet. Or at least a fist.

  39. Change of Topic:

    I found this Matt Lewis Essay thoughtful:

    “Gay rights and religious liberty are on a collision course.”

  40. Di —

    They will have his job. Or die trying.

  41. The won’t get him from the Escapist. It’s less popular than even destructoid.
    Kotaku maybe. It’s got Gawker muscle.

  42. It’ll be fun when we reach the point where self proclaimed “polite society” is so small and heavily weighted towards bitter self-righteous assholes who twist everything that they hear, that one one else wants to be a part of it any more.

  43. Haven’t read the Lewis column Ernst, but given the current tenor of the public “discussion”, I’d say the two items ‘gay rights’ and ‘liberty of conscience’ are, from the mere appearances of things, on a collision course in the same sense as with a demagogic 70 ton tank rolling over a dead body, the two can be said to be colliding beneath the tank-treads.

    But then too, Lazarus. (Since Goldwater’s ’64-5 objections seem to have themselves revived only to be rolled over yet again.)

    So, possibly unpredictable.

  44. Oh your freedom of conscience is secure. Your freedom to act according to the dictates of your conscience, on the other hand….

  45. Yep, I guess that’s a precise formulation alright. You’ve perfect liberty of conscience so long as your conscience is an actual nullity.