John Kerry: forget all the snow and ice. Think of it as a metaphor for fire and drought.
Honestly. The projection involved in asserting that it’s conservatives who are anti-science is astounding in its audacity. But then, it’s supposed to be that way, because the true audacity at the source of it all is the refiguration of science as something driven by politicized consensus and a simple repetition of inconvenient untruths.
For instance, John Kerry spent time in Jakarta, fresh from calling the threat of global warming a weapon of mass destruction, instructing Indonesian university students that, without their help in combating the scourge of humanity and its obstinate belching out of noxious greenhouse gases, Jakarta could soon find itself completely underwater. And who wants that, right?
So naturally, the answer to what is sold as inevitable (even though it is of course not, and is backed by no actual science) is that “we” as a global community do what we can to reduce our carbon footprints.
It’s a tough message to deliver — it requires of us sacrifice and an altruism that puts the needs of the whole of the planet before our own selfish interests — but John Kerry is not afraid to deliver it, God bless his brave heart. But it is tiring. And so requires adequate compensation. For the mental anguish of being the bearer of difficult news.
— Which is why while Mr Kerry is busy lecturing the world on what it needs to do to disarm the atmospheric WMD it is creating, he and his family simply must be allowed to continue to find refreshing solace in their own enormous carbon footprint, one that features 5 mansions, yachts, a fleet of SUVs, and a personal jet. Otherwise, they’ll be unable to keep up the kind of energy necessary to spread the word about the importance of herding humans into smaller spaces, increasing their energy costs, reducing their mobility and productivity, and essentially keeping them as a kind of chattel used to generate money for governments.
Plus, if Jakarta ever does go underwater as a result of rising seas Obama promised to save us from (if he can’t, it’s Bush’s fault!), one has to figure that at the very least, Kerry’s various homes and properties could at least fit the entirety of his Jakarta university audience. And I’m sure that’s exactly what he’ll do, being the humble and charitable intellectual he is.
Accommodation. It’s not John F Kerry’s middle name, but it should be. And I guess if he begins asserting it is often enough, well, then it just will be. Because that’s how “truth” works!