January 3, 2014

“EPA moves to regulate new wood stoves”

And not a moment too soon. Ever since humans got their hands on fire, it’s been nothing but hell on earth, the very air so dense with wood particulates that, on occasion, rustic, makeshift swing sets have been known to spontaneously generate in the skies above New England.

God bless the bureaucrats who daily save us from ourselves. I mean, how many rednecks have to burn down the garage deep frying a turkey before we just admit that it’s time to hand the life keys over to the Parent State?

Posted by Jeff G. @ 10:42am

Comments (48)

  1. I got a heads-up on this from my more survivalist-minded coworkers a few months back.

    I’m still stunned about what happened to gas cans, and the continuing “business as usual” mindset I see in most people in the face of this obviously tyrannical nanny-state.

  2. Interesting things is they already banned most of those wood-burning stoves back in October.

  3. No new house built in CA can have a wood-burning fireplace. Outside woodburning firepits are also banned.

    We had a no-burn couple of days at Christmas (our weather is still in the upper 70s low 80s)

  4. The SF Bay area air Nazis have had a “spare the air” declared since early last month. Its based on SCIENCE! They keep saying how bad the air quality is but, I don’t see it. They also have ads comparing fireplace smoke to second hand smoke.

    Luckily I only work in the area they rule over otherwise it would eliminate our main source of heat. Our wood-burning stove is showing its age and a friend offered to sell their old one. Maybe I should buy this “blackmarket” stove.

  5. I’ll burn extra leaves and trash for y’all.

    We have “burn ban” days when it is too hot, dry and windy to burn safely. Other than that, you can pretty much burn stuff to your heart’s content. It’s a good thing too, since we’d freeze to death without our fireplace, it being a brisk 19 out right now.

  6. Going to visit mother-in-law in Idaho where we burn baby burn all the time.

    You out to see those old oil soaked utility poles go up in smoke.

  7. It is a sight to behold, bgbear. Railroad ties likewise put on quite a show.

    Grab that woodstove while you can. My BIL has one of those pellet stoves and it costs a fortune for those pellets.

  8. They keep saying how bad the air quality is but, I don’t see it.

    That is because it isn’t bad, it is overregulation for no good reason. Unfortunately these ascientific twits don’t have a clue what bad is, for example, Pittsburgh before any controls. As a result, they chase an imaginary ideal that neverexisted – that and they are control freaks.

  9. – Because everyone knows that the pen ultinate sign of grown-up-ness is using the Fbomb at every opportunity:

    “It was always going to have my name,” she told Glamour U.K., on newsstands now. “Of course we’re not going to call it RocknRoll. People might judge all they like, but I am a f*****g grown-up.”

    – Which is to say, she may be willing to live with the numbnuts, but she sure as hell doesn’t intend to use his stipid name.

  10. When I was a little girl, I used to go from my home in the San Joaquin Valley to visit my relatives for a few weeks every summer. They lived in Orange County in the city of Orange. I can remember coughing a lot when the weather was hot and when driving toward LA, you could see the smog lying in the basin.

    So yes, Eingang. They don’t have a clue.

  11. Kate Winslet is a fucking idiot. And a slut.

    How do you like them apples, Kate?

  12. – Lefturds eating each other. Always happens when their phoney “race love” is exposed for what it really is, patronizing race hustle.

  13. leigh

    I was born in Los Angeles and spent the first 13 years of my life in Granada Hills (San Fernando Valley) 1954-67.

    There were so many days as a kid, during the summer when the inversion layer trapped everything in that it hurt to take a deep breath. It’s the geography of So Cal that causes this. Early explorers and settlers wrote about the pall of smoke from Indian tribes hanging over the basin.

    Today is NOTHING like when I grew up (we moved to Brea in Orange County in 1968).

    It is still relentless for ever diminishing returns … and almost all manufacturing has moved out along with the middle class jobs.

  14. I can remember the sore throat and headaches the most, Darleen. It was really cool to go to Disneyland and Angel Stadium, but it wasn’t so cool that you were exhausted all the time from trying to breathe.

  15. leigh

    Weirdly, mildly warm weather (like we are currently experiencing) is the worst. The lid of the inversion layer disappears in cold or very hot weather.

  16. i don’t think Kate Winslet is the problem per se

    I loved her in Hideous Kinky in particular and I keep promising my friend F I’m a watch Revolutionary Road

    it’s supposed to be just beautiful

  17. really quite lovely

  18. overregulation for no good reason

    My friend, since when have regulators needed a good reason to over regulate?

  19. I remember Pittsburgh before the mills shut down. The air was pretty chunky. Worse, in the winter dump trucks would spread cinders on snowy roads since cinders were a plentiful byproduct of the steel-making process. Traffic would kick up the black slush and it would stick to everything until, over time, it turned to dust and made its own contributions to the air quality.

    . . . good times.

  20. and the continuing “business as usual” mindset I see in most people in the face of this obviously tyrannical nanny-state.

    They’ve worn us down. Yeah, we can yell about it, but for every one of these we roll back — through Herculean efforts over years and years — 100,000 more are enacted with the stroke of a pen.

    The Lilliputians got Gulliver with innumerable small snares, not one big rope.

  21. Also, Salt Lake City gets winter inversions pretty badly, too. Logan is worse, because it’s a tall, narrow valley.

    Worse than the air quality for the lungs is the depressive effect on the mind. January and February are depressing enough by themselves, but then these inversions go on for 2–3 weeks, and you’re either climbing the walls or slitting your wrists.

    Fortunately, a short drive up to Park City gets you out of the gunk and into the sunshine, but who has time for that?

  22. I keep promising my friend F I’m a watch Revolutionary Road

    it’s supposed to be just beautiful

    It’s a stupid fucking movie.

    Right up your alley.

  23. well I’m not watching it tonight

    I might finish series 1 of The Fades on Amazon, later

    after I finish laundry

    it’s not very good but it’s not terrible neither

    it’s a show about teens what encounter mysterious supernatural events and discover that they have a destiny they’d known nothing about their whole lives but that destiny or no they still have to have a fair amount of sex

  24. >it’s a show about teens what encounter mysterious supernatural events and discover that they have a destiny <

    with a queer pickachu or nespresso

  25. It probably has sparkly vampires, since it’s that level of intellectual advancement that appeals to the microcephalic pikachus that use “what” incorrectly.

  26. It does not have sparkle vampires.

    So far.

  27. Keep watching, because you don’t want to miss them. If you miss them the first time, start over again. And again, and again, until you see the sparkly vampires.

    At the very least, the repetition will keep you from saying such stupid shit all the time. And the rest of us can have an adult discussion.

  28. You can’t miss sparkle vampires. That’s the whole point of the sparkle. The sparkle says hey world, check me out!

    You might be thinking of hobbits.

  29. >You might be thinking of hobbits.

  30. you go it

  31. I’m still stunned about what happened to gas cans

    Fix the damned things.

  32. Follow up to the new gas can repair. If you don’t know what is ‘baling wire’, then get these

    You Will Only Get 10 STANDARD 1/2 inch Outside Diameter With A 7/32in or .218in Inside Vent Hole Diameter Black Vent Caps With Retaining Lip. … To Replace Or Install A New One, Pre-Drill With A Smaller Drill Bit Like A 1/16″ Bit, Drill The Final Hole With a 1/2 Boring Bit, Be Gentle When Drilling Don’t Push To Hard. Now You Have Your 1/2 Hole, All You Have To Do To Install The Vent Is By Tapping The Vent With A Hammer Or If You’re “Strong Like Bull” Snap That Puppy In With The Palm Of Your Hand, Push Firmly To Fully Seat. “Semper Fi” And The Next Time You Use Your Gas Can Don’t Forget To Smile! =)

  33. Non hoarders, take heed. Never thought you’d need that old gas can?

    Well, you was wrong.

  34. …and what happened to American gas can manufacturers.

    Why the Largest Maker of Portable Gas Cans is Going Out of Business

    Because the government rewards people who are too stupid not to pour gasoline on a fire with money from the people who make gas cans.

  35. Who’s on deck here? My comments are in moderation hell?

    Pixy! Pixy!

  36. Nevermind. It must have been temporary.

  37. Pablo, Miami, OK is the next county from me.

  38. My father heats his place almost entirely using a renewable energy resource, AKA firewood. It all comes from his own woodlot, which is constantly in the process of replenishing itself.

  39. I wonder when the EPA will move to outlaw lightning-caused forest fires and volcanic activity, since they produce more in the way of smoke, ozone-reducing gases, and air pollution than any pot-bellied stove ever built.

    Speaking of which, the most polluted cities on the planet? Not a single one is in North America, and only one is in the Western Hemisphere.

  40. Most of the wood we cut this week was standing deadwood, almost perfectly seasoned, which only hastened the process whereby the wood was converted to CO2, and also hastened the process whereby new trees could fill in the blanks, absorbing CO2 in the process.

    So fuck the EPA with a pair of rotting sawfishes.

  41. Victor Davis Hanson has written about the Two Californias, how the illegals can break all of these regulations (building code, business licenses, dumping, etc.) simply because the state refuses to enforce them. Only the law-abiding taxpayers whom the police and regulators can count on to actually pay their fines and fees will be prevented from using wood-burning fireplaces and pits.

    “Living in the shadows” has it’s benefits alright.

  42. Are there any actual scientists or forestry people at the EPA? We have more forested land now than when the Pilgrims ran into Plymouth Rock.

  43. the EPA is not a scientific endeavour it’s merely an exercise in applied jack-booted American fascism

  44. Well, if that’s the case we need to be rid of them.

  45. that doesn’t sound like something you want to tackle til you get caught up on laundry

  46. I do need to undecorated my house from Christmas. Maybe I’ll get them on the phone on Monday.