January 3, 2014

A brief aside from my egg-white and spinach omelet w/ whole wheat toast

“Hey. Remember when you were once a man? That was pretty awesome, wasn’t it, cupcake…?”

Posted by Jeff G. @ 9:49am
26 comments | Trackback

Comments (26)

  1. omelet needs to have a little less attitude and a little more to say about income equality and outcomes-based policies that don’t rely on the failed ideas of the past

  2. I’d eat a spinach omelet with whole wheat toast, but if the omelet doesn’t have yolk in it I’m out.

    And I’m taking my toast with me.

  3. What, the omelet-toast combo read Hanna Rosin before hitting the plate?

  4. I like whole wheat. I can’t have very much bread on my diet, though.

    I do have a problem with spinach in eggs, though. It would take a lot of bacon and cheese (which I’m guessing defeats the purpose of the egg white part) to get past that.

  5. a little more to say about income equality and outcomes-based policies

    If those not earning enough cannot improve themselves, even with all of the taxpayer-funded assistance, it is their own fault.

    And outcomes-based policies? Give me half your income, and shut up about it. I deserve it more than you do. What does it matter that I make more than you do? We’re looking to decide outcomes even before the race is run, deciding who the winners and losers are based on criteria you have no right to question, racist.

    (Personally, I’d prefer equality of opportunity, rather than equality of outcome, but I’m real-world like that.)

  6. Don’t forget equality before the law, which is what’s supposed to prevent economic liberty from devolving into cronyism.

  7. The spinach in your omelet needs to cozy up to some crabmeat and a nice mornay sauce.

  8. An egg white omelet is to an omelet like phone sex is to sex.

    The only good egg white omelet is one that is served swimming in Hollandaise.

  9. egg white omelet = the PajamaBoy of breakfast foods

  10. I was hoping there would be oysters in this story.

  11. “and outcomes-based policies that don’t rely on the failed ideas of the past ”

    They’ll slap anyone who refers to the real past and ignores the proper one they came up with.

  12. If my food talks I beat the shit out of it until it shuts the hell up. Yeah, even rice crispies. You can snap crackle and pop on your own damned time.

  13. Jeff, you should garnish that omelet with a large meat-sampler stuffed pizza. Or a five slow- smoked beef ribs. Then you can garnish the toast with a peach pie.

  14. My food has an attitude, too. It’s always saying, “Eat me!”

  15. My food waits quietly for the end. It may give with a little sob every now and then, but it doesn’t want to die screaming in terror and agony.

  16. “but it doesn’t want to die screaming in terror and agony.”

    Incorrect.

    I once made a lasagna that wanted very much to die screaming in terror and agony. It wanted it so much that it fell off of the balcony rail I had it cooling on, into the top “grill” of my air conditioner. It’s a shame that it took my corningware(TM) with it. The corningware(TM) bounced off of the air conditioner and shattered on the slab the air conditioner sits on.

    Many layered sauced noodles and ricotta curds knew what it was to fly and bounce in the depths of a two year old 1.5 ton Lennox Aire-Flo on that day, I can tell you!

  17. I’ll bet your house smelled fabulous for a few days.

  18. I still don’t know why the kitchen was upstairs or why I thought putting a hot glassware dish on a beveled 4×4 railing was a good idea. Townhouse condos are often designed by stupid people and I was a teen-aged kid then. This was post K-mart era, maybe in 87 or so? We had Lago -Vista condo three month summer sublet money then. JC Penney, Dillards, and Foley’s money.

    Now I half expect green and gold stamps to come back. Thanks Obama.

  19. I think that was the year that I quit Boyscouts because we never actually went camping. It was plan plan cancel, plan plan cancel.

  20. I once made a lasagna that wanted very much to die screaming in terror and agony.

    It’s a question of reputation. I has one.

    Even used food fears me, and it doesn’t even need to.

  21. Used food does its damage on the inside before it makes its escape.

  22. Maybe that’s why it fears me. Hmmmm…

  23. Spinach marries quiche, and the two form a most perfect union. Heaven smiles on a spinach quiche. Spinach consorting in other relationships is but a mawkish blasphemy!

  24. I like spinach in chicken farfalle alfredo.

  25. Many layered sauced noodles and ricotta curds knew what it was to fly and bounce in the depths of a two year old 1.5 ton Lennox Aire-Flo on that day, I can tell you!

    Are you the Quiche Master?

  26. Serr8d, spanakopita is a gift from the gods.

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