as a CITIZEN journalist, I feel compelled to offer this confession:
The reports you have no doubt heard by now are correct: I did in fact agree to meet off the record with myself, having been invited by me to an informal gathering where I was assured I’d be given the freedom to talk to myself with complete candor. And, after what was a rather unexpectedly pleasant and even at times charming experience — it turns out I can be quite a down to earth fellow, in those times when I’m not forced to keep my guard up against myself! — I concluded, along with me, that I can get along just fine with myself, and can even find some common ground to act as a united front against those who aren’t me and who wish me to be something other than myself.
The secret to this arrangement, which is what’s best for the country, both I and me decided, is figuring out a coherent narrative that we would both stick to, while agreeing — off the record — to follow a singular, bi-me strategy, emphasized by the need for me to get together with mysefl to hash out any differences I may have with myself in order to end the public friction between myself and me.
Privately, however, we get along swell — and I can really see myself having a few beers with me when the day ends and policy talk gives way to talk about how best to manage all those who aren’t me.*
So all in all: success!
– that I say that off the record, naturally.