The Boehner Speech you will never hear
Compliments of Doug Ross.
Don’t despair, though. Rumor has it that all of Speaker Boehner’s orange tears are being collected in a set of mason jars, and that, with a little work, the US military will be able to develop from them an aerosolized compound that actually forces our enemies to surrender pre-emptively, often before there’s even been mention of a possible dispute.
So you see: Life gives your and orange face, you make orange-ade!
It’s the American way!