August 8, 2013

Let’s play, “gauge the mood at protein wisdom”!

Your clue comes in the form of a limerick. First to correctly assess the mood wins. The prize being the satisfaction of having won.

Ready? Here we go.

There once was a man from Nantucket
Whose face was so long he could tuck it
down into his Levis —
or with socks, maybe knee highs —
Either way, you know what? Fuck Obama.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 9:57am

Comments (111)

  1. Whimsical?

  2. Tequila?

  3. Day-to-day?

  4. heh, and here I’d already eliminated Fr.ScottKey and RogerTaney. Shucks.

  5. From Ace’s sidebar: “Slate web site will no longer refer to Washington’s NFL team as the Redskins.”

    Without following the link to Slate, for obvious reasons, I’m just going to guess they’ll henceforth be known (in all the truly enlightened areas) as the “Washington R-words”.

    Wait, shit, “retard” is already on the verboten list. “Washington Other R-words”

  6. Situation normal in Obama’s America.

  7. Quite contrary.

  8. Another problem for Slate.

  9. I’ll guess, “gobsmacked over something fundamentally stupid John F’n Kerry did in the capacity that Dear Leader appointed him too”.

  10. Craving a habañero chalupa.

    But I cheated, so…

  11. – Why do you hate peanut butter?

  12. Obviously the indicative past pluperfect subjunctive mood.

  13. – Wait, are you channeling Putin?

  14. Contrary to ordinary?

  15. Maybe you should dig around behind the sofa cushions. Because sometimes regular catalepsis is almost as good as procatalepsis.

  16. Situation normal. The Dillo ain’t dancing

  17. Exhausted.

  18. Hoarse?

  19. Fun with homophones!

  20. Sorry. “H-word”phones.

  21. Still trying to get my mind around the whole brown paper bag thing. Color me perplexed.

  22. Limericks? I’m more of a haiku person.

  23. Detached bemusement.

  24. There once was a king from Chicago
    With a soul far blacker than Blago
    In silent he vowed
    “To make Marcuse proud,
    You’ll be living like Dr. Zhivago”

  25. Let’s hope the mood isn’t a black-thing we wouldn’t understand, whatever else it may be.

  26. Limericks? I’m more of a haiku person.

    three years, six months
    low information voters
    proclaim the new queen

  27. You’re hot for John effin Kerry.

  28. The editors at slate will be horrified when I tell them how I grilled redskin noble savage American potatoes on the grill last night.

  29. From Ohio there once was a Speaker
    Whose outlook had never been bleaker
    With a tear he did cry
    “One-third’s half cannot try
    To make me the any less meeker.”

  30. I would like to salute
    the ashes of American flags
    And all the fallen leaves
    filling up shopping bags

  31. Full-on outlaw, go ahead and let it burn.

  32. A justice named Roberts did seize
    Upon some newborn legalese
    “It’s a matter of facts
    Every law is a tax
    And this robe is a crown if I please.”

  33. I’m shocked no one picked ennui.

  34. I’m pretty sure you can purchase pickled ennui in Japan. Or one of those trendy little places that ‘feets knows all about.

  35. I’m pretty sure you can purchase pickled ennui in Japan

    They adopted it from the French during their period of Indochinese colonialism.

  36. Red Velvet Ennui with a buttercream frosting.

  37. Hahahaha.. no.. really.. hahahhaahaha!!!

  38. “I’m bored and dissatisfied with the utter pointlessness of human existence… but with a tangy vinegar zestiness!

  39. takarebeaskydninitraminvilipizttzipilivnimartinindyksaeberakat

    Cerberus, guarding the gate to the underworld.

  40. Explains the French Indochinese game of “Ennui Go.” You set up the board but nobody makes a move. Très ironique.

  41. So, is it now racist if I find a chink in my armor?

  42. Everything you do is racist, George. Just learn to deal with it.

  43. “disqusted”? Trying to comment over at RSM’s place? Yeah, I hate that thing, too.

  44. ennui go into the future of our once proud lil country

    I’m starting to think this whole Obama thing was a big fucking mistake

  45. “I’m starting to think this whole Obama thing was a big fucking mistake.”

    Welcome to the party, pal. Sorry if we’re running low on beer and nachos, but some of us hatey, white, gun-owning Jesus freaks got hear 5+ years ago. Maybe we’re not so stupid after all?

  46. i can bring extra beer but i haven’t had a chance to track down any of the Blue Moon peabnut bubber kind

    and this weekend looks sorta challenging as far as fitting in any meaningful shoppertainment goes

  47. Seems like every TV character I see that drinks beer is drinking Blue Moon. Don’t they know it’s named after a nekkid Eskimo?


    Ace, known for his sad buy in to Romney/Ryan inevitability, using the “where there is smoke their is fire” rule on the trashing of the Herman Cain candidacy, and some particularly pitiful anti-Santorum “THEOCRAT” calling only ten short months ago, has been seen down in the west end of the Shire asking around if he can buy the old Skeever’s Hollow place out by Farmer Maggot’s barley corn field.

    He says he’s third party and has declared a pox on the house of the GOP rinophance.

    Took him long enough. Not that he’ll stay for long.

  49. Except Longmire. He drinks Rainier. But in at least one of the books I’ve read so far, he’s back East and settles for something else.

  50. Oh, hi palaeo.

  51. I thought he was strategically cisrino and now he comes out all transwackobird?

  52. Personally, I like bock lager. Shiner Bock is good, preferably a little water,y and in a frosted mug. But I usually drink Mickey’s, when I drink. Because I have awful taste in beer probably. The one beer I ordered to be adventurous attacked me. (Red Rocket Ale).

    I said “This beer is trying to hurt me I think. From the inside.” The bartender responded, “It’s pretty bready.” Then I ate a couple of bratwurst, and drank 2/3 of the evil beer and gave up. Yay for pubs!

  53. There once was a country named ‘Merica
    Where unions claimed their fair share-ica.
    All the taxes and regs
    Gave all the jobs wobbly legs
    Then Obama pulled out the chair-ica.

  54. If I were giving Oprah a Preezydential Medal of Freedom, it would be one of those gold foil wrapped chocolate coins. I’d take bets on how long before she ate it.

  55. Shiner Bock is from texas i love it very much whereas Blue Moon peabnut bubber ale has subtle notes of peabnut bubber and I’m a whore for peabnut bubber

  56. Obama is getting Medals of Freedom from the same supplier as his Nobel prize.

  57. Mood = “seeking distraction yet haunted by looming specters of inept tyrannical collectivism and divisive banana republic style injustice” .

  58. My music and movies
    All hate me.
    My books and my games
    Are the same.
    My sins are too great
    ‘Cause I won’t clean my plate
    When the powers that be serve me blame.

    Oh bring back, bring back, bring back a sane world to me to me
    Bring back, bring back, oh bring back a sane world to me.

    My country is weak
    And distracted
    Hands tied up
    with red tape and false shame.
    Where once we’d have
    Gladly reacted
    Now we just sleep
    Through the game.

    Oh bring back, bring back, bring back a sane world to me to me
    Bring back, bring back, oh bring back a sane world to me.

    The elephant
    Long since forgot me
    The Donkey was hiding a bear
    And now the lights go off
    in summer
    As uncle Sam cleans up
    The Air.

    Oh bring back, bring back, bring back a sane world to me, oh boy!
    No wait, scratch that. Copy Book Headings ahoy!

  59. When Ace breaks out the flaming skull and the pudding cups and proclaims his personal allegience to Jeff, the Duke of New York, A-number-1 Guy, then I’ll believe it.

  60. Bells. It’s Michigan. I’m all about buying local, except that I”m not some liberal asshole, etc.

    Sometimes my preferences make me resemble one.

  61. Last night – at work (i’m waiting tables in Obama’s New Amerikkka of Hope and Change), I waited on a couple who had never been to Michigan. So I start telling them about spots nearby where they are going – and attempted to describe how there are fewer crowds, etc, because Michigan is so isolated. I brought up Tenn in comparison, and they guy interrupted me saying he’s NEVER go to Tenn, because they don’t go to “Red States.”

    Ba haaa haaa haaa. I can play lib pretty well (I’m working for tips), but I had a nice hearty laugh about that later.

    Liberals are so open minded, I think their brains fell out.

  62. School bus fight: Three black teens attack white, bus driver doesn’t intervene
    Three black 15-year-old boys severely assaulted a 13-year-old white boy – allegedly because the white boy had told school authorities that one of the black boys tried to sell him drugs. The fight resulted in the victim having a broken arm and two black eyes.

    If Obama had three fifteen year old boys…

  63. If only all liberals were as concientious about avoiding red states.


    Designed for theatrical and home video release, INFRINGED: Second Amendment in the Crosshairs is a project that will address a critically important social and individual rights issue in the United States. The right to keep and bear arms, as defined by the Second Amendment, is under unprecedented attack.

    INFRINGED is an ambitious feature-length documentary now in the funding stage (to help bring this needed project to the screen, CLICK HERE). INFRINGED will explore, in a factual and in-depth manner, the rationale behind the Bill of Rights – especially the Second Amendment. Importantly, the project will examine how those liberties, so elegantly crafted by our founding fathers, have protected Americans for more than 200 years. It will also expose the efforts by today’s radical statists to infringe upon, erode and ultimately remove these fundamental rights.



    Gratifying to see our rulers are putting their time to good use.

  66. There once was a king from Chicago
    With a soul far blacker than Blago
    In silent he vowed
    “To make Marcuse proud,
    You’ll be living like Dr. Zhivago”

    You know, if Mike Royko were still alive, Obama would never have become President.

  67. I miss Mike Royko.

  68. Grandiose Obstreperous Progressives.

  69. “Gauge the mood?”

    Mood’s a thing for cattle and love play, not fighting!

    We have a proto-tyrant who waivers everything except his unwaivering war on what once was America. Fight or be fucked, mood’s got nothing to do with it, deserves does.

  70. Fight or be fucked, mood’s got nothing to do with it, deserves does.

    It is that. Good grief, things have come to a pretty pass when every single news source is suspected of being Tass. But they did it to themselves and we don’t have to take it lying down.

  71. Waiver-ing, the country, bye-bye.

  72. Re: nr above.

    In March, Rep. Lois Capps (D-Calif.) introduced a bill to extend gun restrictions in federal law from abusive spouses to abusive dating partners as well. The legislation, modeled after existing California law, has lingered in committee since April with no co-sponsors.

    “Our current legal system makes an arbitrary distinction between protections for dating partners and protections for spouses and ex-spouses, creating a loophole in our gun laws and increasing danger for domestic violence victims and survivors. This is wrong and that’s why I authored the Domestic Violence Survivors Protection Act, which would ensure that all abused women, whether married or not, are provided the same protections,” Capps said.

    The bill also allows for an emergency hearing to trigger a temporary prohibition on possession of a firearm before a full hearing on a restraining order can be scheduled.

    “This bill would provide greater security for domestic violence survivors by protecting them during the time when they are most at risk, in the minutes, hours and days immediately after leaving a violent partner,” Capps added. “An abusive ex-boyfriend with a gun is no less lethal than an abusive ex-husband with a gun. It is time for federal law to join 18 states in recognizing that reality.”

    Extends the prohibition against the shipment, transport, possession, or receipt of a firearm or ammunition in interstate or foreign commerce to: (1) a person who is subject to a court order issued after a hearing (eliminating the requirements that the person received actual notice of and had an opportunity to participate in the hearing) with respect to a court order restraining the person from harassing, stalking, threatening, or placing in reasonable fear of bodily injury an intimate partner, a child of such intimate partner or person, a family member even if such member had never cohabited with such person, an individual who cohabitates or has cohabitated with the person, or an elderly or dependent adult; (2) a person restrained by a court order issued at the request of an employer on behalf of its employee or at the request of an institution of higher education on behalf of its student; and (3) a court order that restrains such a person from intimidating or dissuading a witness from testifying in court.

    So just about anyone you have ever come within 10 feet of is empowered to have your 2nd amendment right taken away without any notice to you on just their say so to a court. Sounds a bit “letters de cachet” to me.

  73. Email service reportedly used by Edward Snowden abruptly shuts down

    So let me know when Cisco, Juniper, Microsoft, Oracle, IBM, HP, et al decide to shut down rather than comply other National Security Letters requiring espionage code be placed in their products.

    It’s either that, or be viewed similar to Huawei in the eyes of anyone concerned about privacy or security…

  74. This is a very good OT article from the American Thinker.

    Not real helpful mind you, but full of light and truth none the less…

  75. I guess my lack of a social life is an asset. There aren’t any women who are going to accuse me of threatening them because there aren’t any women. I guess the proggies could hire someone to lie about it.

  76. – More tax payer dollars down the first black presidents “spend as much of whiteys money as you can while you’re in office brotha” endless vacations shithole .

  77. But, but, George Bush!

  78. Defiant.

    Oh, and there’s some minor problems in the Pacific Ocean. A comment from a very long-face…

    Their PR sham has certainly spinned out of control!! I don’t think that ordinary Japanese have been buying this for a long time now — they are just frightened. But now the whole world gets a glimpse. And their “BIG idea” to go kill off the world’s Pacific Ocean because “they have no choice” is a bad one. They need to EVACUATE Northern Japan as they should have done in the first place. Then force the contaminated water INLAND, not out to sea. Unless their next “big idea” is that Japan is savable. It’s not. You’ve mass-murdered your own country. So at least make SOME effort to spare the ecology of the rest of the world.

  79. The comments over there make us here seem lighthearted and jolly…

    And now nobody, but nobody, even mentions plutonium.
    But that tiny little mote of plutonium, (1/50,000,000g, considered a lethal dose) from one of the nuclear cores at Fukushima, that you just inhaled while jogging this morning, will cause your death, by cancer, in fewer years than you imagine you have left.

  80. I wonder how contaminated the water actually is. I doubt it’s very much. To an idiot proggie, any contamination is a fatal amount.

    For instance, most fresh water has some arsenic in it, and removing all arsenic would be prohibitive in cost. That doesn’t stop them from bitching about it, though.

    Don’t tell them that radioactive material is naturally occurring. That might snap what’s left of their brains.

  81. I will concede that plutonium is something we made. If I’m not mistaken, it was used in one of the bombs that was dropped on Japan. While the initial effects were pretty bad, it doesn’t appear that in the long-term there is a huge problem.

    Then again, I know that Godzilla isn’t real.

  82. I just looked it up. Fat Man, dropped on Nagasaki, had a plutonium core. I’m sure more material from that core got into the environment than ever will from the reactors.

  83. But the status quo now is the collectivist super-state, with all its supporting organs and elements.

    The boomer, “new left” generation that has run the going concern it inherited from the WW2 generation right into the ground, is retiring and starting to die off.

    The blue social model, which depends on and attempts to constantly expand the role of the state, is bankrupt and growing increasingly irrelevant.

    Various environmental scams, phony crises, and predictions of the apocalypse are unraveling as agricultural, energy, and various other hi-tech innovations, (the recent development of a vastly improved, cheaper water purifying system being one example) re-vitalize major sectors of the economy.

    As the edifice of the collective state collapses, and it will, since it is built on falsehoods and irrational theories, the opportunity arises for the opponents of the collectivist ideology to make their case to a public witnessing that implosion all around them.

    That this will be a long, complex, dirty, and exhausting marathon is pretty obvious, but we in this country, and humanity around the world, have faced worse threats with less resources than we have now.

    It would be a terrible shame, and a tragedy for our posterity, if we were to throw up our hands and accept defeat because things are difficult and the task daunting.

    The future belongs to those who will seize it and write its story, never to those who walk away and abandon the field.

    Duty, honor, and country are values worthy of all citizens who wish to live as free people, not just the cadets at West Point.


  84. If there really is an overwhelming amount of radiation in the air/water/ground, then I expect to see Godzilla stomping through Tokyo on the news soon.

    A the least Gamara.

  85. how many plutonium atoms/isotopes does it take to kill a human?

  86. Gamera is really neat, he is filled with turtle meat,
    we all love you Ga-merrrr-aaaaaaaaaa.

  87. I miss MST3000.

  88. Awesome! Thanks, cranky.

  89. leigh – and anyone else who likes funny: Go buy yourself some RiffTrax. They’ve got well over a hundred shorts, around 50 feature-length ‘crap’ films (similar to the stuff they used on MST3k) and 100+ audio-only tracks that sync up with Major Hollywood Releases that they’d never in a million years be able to get the rights to. (e.g. Lord of the Rings, all 6 Star Wars’, the first 6 Harry Potter films, and the Twilight series — which is hilarious).

    You can find previews of all their stuff on their website, or on YouTube.

  90. Thanks, John. I love stuff like that. I’ve corrupted my kids with Monty Python and Firesign Theatre, too.

  91. I just liked them on FB. Their homepage says it’s the same guys who did MST3k. No wonder they know how to bring the funny.

  92. “Let’s have an attitude check.”
    “I hate this BLEEPing place.”
    “Let’s have a positive attitude check.”
    “I positively hate this BLEEPing place.”
    “Let’s have a negative attitude check.”
    “I don’t like this BLEEPing place.”
    “Let’s have a short attitude check.”
    “BLEEP it!”

    —from “Red Storm Rising” by Tom Clancy and Larry Bond

  93. From LB’s OT AT link:

    This week’s comedy news

    Comedian and actor Tim Allen is in a spot of bother this week. Specifically for telling the Tampa Bay Times that he should be able to say the n-word as much as he likes.

    “If I have no intent, if I show no intent, if I clearly am not a racist, then how can ‘nigger’ be bad coming out of my mouth?” asked Allen. The comic, who claimed to use the word regularly in his standup, added that “[the phrase] ‘the n-word’ is worse to me than nigger.”

    African-American commentators politely but firmly disagreed. “Here’s a general rule of thumb to follow when using the n-word for white people,” said sociologist, author and radio host Michael Eric Dyson on MSNBC: “Never.”

  94. From the first link at his link, actually.

  95. I’m starting to think this whole Obama thing was a big fucking mistake

    Yes, but was it a bigger mistake than electing Caribou Barbie to theVice Presidency? C’mon; confession is good for the soul. Let it on out!

    Personally, I like bock lager

    Dude, you really need to try Paulaner Salvator, which is a doppelb0ck. It’s out of this world. Maybe a little rich for people who like light beer, but it’s definitely easy on the tonsils.

    Mickey’s is a malt liquor whose big mouth bottle practically demands a raw egg. Which is how my brother used to drink it. One whiff of Mickey’s and you know exactly what those freshness-dating commercials mean by “skunky beer”; I think skunk scent is a key ingredient in Mickey’s.

  96. Mickey’s is something you drink when you’re a kid and don’t know any better.

  97. “African-American commentators politely but firmly disagreed. “Here’s a general rule of thumb to follow when using the n-word for white people,” said sociologist, author and radio host Michael Eric Dyson on MSNBC: “Never.” ”

    No deal. All prior commitments to consideration, decorum, and courtesy went out the window when you started calling white people “whites” indicating that the bargains were apparently negotiated in exceptionally bad faith.

  98. In beer lingo I now assume that “bready” means ” this should not be in your mouth. It tastes like a kick in the throat would taste if a kick in the throat were a chemical”.

    You have to store Mickey’s in a dark pantry. It is not a sun friendly brew. It really should be in an opaque bottle or can. But then it might not be so cheap.

  99. “Mickey’s is something you drink when you’re a kid and don’t know any better.”

    That niche is currently occupied by Natty Lite.

  100. Mickey’s is a regular part of my ‘cornbread/ texas toast and tomato paste ranch style pinto beans with ham ans sausage’ eating routine . Which is coming up BTW.The season starts in late October with the onset of rainy 40 degree shit weather that lets your yard regenerate before the two surprise freezes kills the hell out of it along with those supposedly “climate tough” flowering shrubs you planted. Often it coincides with the first Halloween sniffles.

  101. leigh says August 8, 2013 at 5:24 pm
    I miss Mike Royko.
    – See more at:

    John Kass is a worthy successor and not as liberal.

  102. Kass is good. Royko was an old school liberal and he mostly waxed nostalgic about the old neighborhood. He didn’t bother me since I ignored his politics and read it from a human interest POV.