May 28, 2013

my first brief conversation with Eric Holder’s soul

me:  “Wow. You are even blacker than I’d thought possible.”*

Eric Holder’s soul:  “And you, sir, are a racist.”

me:  “No, you misunderstand me. I meant ‘blacker’ in the sense that you as a soul are even more dark, rotten, riddled with deceit and devoid of conscience than I could have imagined. The color is really only emblematic, a kind of conventional referent –”

Eric Holder’s soul:  “– Got it:  Black is emblematic of rot, deceit, hate, cynicism, and sociopathology.  And I’m sure in your mind it likes it some watermelon too.  And gangster rap music.  And can tap dance like Mr Bojangles.  Do I have that about right?”

me:  “In the context of souls, yes, black invokes all those things — though I don’t think the watermelon or rap music or Bonjangles references are germane.”

Eric Holder’s soul:   “Of course you don’t.  Because you are a racist who can’t see his own racism.  Which unfortunately is typical of many of today’s most dangerous racists.  And nearly universal in of all you white devils, particularly those of you on the right who continue to harass me and the President and Ms Rice because we’re of color.  But let me tell you:  you won’t punish my people.  Not on my watch.”*

me:

Eric Holder’s soul:

me:

Eric Holder’s soul:

me:

Eric Holder’s soul:  “What?”

me:  “Nothing.  Just waiting to see if there was any such thing as irony lightning.  Which evidently there is not.”

 

Posted by Jeff G. @ 11:11am
69 comments | Trackback

Comments (69)

  1. I await my Senator’s advice as to the purpose of laws before leaping to any conclusions, Goldstein.

  2. Eric Holder’s soul: Coward!

  3. I imagine Eric Holder’s soul to be very tiny and to speak in a high pitched sort of a squeek.

  4. I suppose you’d have to check with the Devil himself on that one, since he surely has gotten Holder to sign over his soul in exchange for achieving (and keeping) such power. Oh, and for getting away with killing a coupla hundred Mexicans with his Fast and Furious scheme.

  5. This could fit as a comment in any of the three posts up today. It is about the “Shield Law.”

    It has a meeting of the mob families called by the Godfather to settle a war which is spiraling out of control.

    And it informs us that Eric Holder has a soul and is searching it for something or other.

    [Holder] “While both of these cases were handled within the law and according to Justice Department guidelines,” … “they are reminders of the unique role the news media plays in our democratic system, and signal that both our laws and guidelines need to be updated.” He added, “This is an opportunity for the department to consider how we strike the right balance between the interests of law enforcement and freedom of the press.”

    To begin the process of recalibrating that balance, Holder is initiating a dialogue with representatives of major media organizations. Invitations go out today, with the first meeting taking place possibly as early as this week. Holder’s aides say he is encouraging a no-holds-barred conversation with the goal of updating and strengthening DOJ guidelines. But Holder’s own personal soul searching has already begun, with, among other things, the question of why he signed off on an affidavit that in retrospect he believed may have crossed the line.

    As an explanation, if not a justification, Justice officials say that the department’s leadership had come under withering pressure to investigate leaks from both within the intelligence community and Congress. On multiple occasions, Holder fielded calls from the CIA director and other top officials demanding leak investigations.

  6. …the question of why he signed off on an affidavit that in retrospect he believed may have crossed the line.

    All that stupid shit we got busted for as kids in retrospect we believed may have crossed the line.

    The question is why why he signed off on an affidavit that in retrospect he believed may have crossed the line is considered a rational fucking narrative.

    Daily Beast

    Holder’s Regrets and Repairs

    How the attorney general feels about his own role in the Fox News case—and how he plans to prevent it from happening again.

    Oh. Never mind.

  7. That Holder would pervert the intentions of his civil rights forebears, even those of his self-identified sort, isn’t surprising at all, nor is it surprising that he would fail to recognize his perversion of their intentions, being as he merely substitutes his own for theirs without regard to ever bothering to ponder their intentions — how could he know what he doesn’t know, after all?

  8. - No Howard. Not nevermind. Never nevermind. Thats what the gestoppo is trying for. Enough smoke and mirrors and cognitive dissonant statements that no one can make any sense of, hoping everyone will just give up in disgust and walk away. Fuck them. Keep hammering their asses til they have no where left to hide.

  9. Do not blame Caesar, blame the people of Rome who have so enthusiastically acclaimed and adored him and rejoiced in their loss of freedom and danced in his path and given him triumphal processions. Blame the people who hail him when he speaks in the Forum of the new wonderful good society which shall now be Rome’s, interpreted to mean more money, more ease, more security, and more living fatly at the expense of the industrious.

    -Marcus Tullius Cicero

  10. Looking forward to seeing Holder doing the perp walk.

    It won’t happen, but I’m still looking forward to it.

  11. To begin the process of recalibrating that balance, Holder is initiating a dialogue with representatives of major media organizations.

    Yeah, let’s see that list.

    Kabuki theater, nothing more, because the “major media” organizations need an excuse to re-don their Lewinsky knee-pads and have dissenting, upstart, media wiped out by the Leviathan.

  12. - Don’t be so sure of that SBP. There is nothing and no one that Bumblefuck and his closest cadre won’t throw under the bus to protect the Wonce and a half.

    – If the perjury charges have legs holder is toast.

  13. I request that the phrase “Kabuki Theatre” be banned.

  14. Issa subpoenas Kerry.

  15. Gotta come up with an alternative for consideration first leigh.

  16. - That should be good for a few laughs. We’ll all get to hear what the DoJ did and said before they did and said the opposite. Either that or Maybe one of the Congress criters can ask him how he’s doing on locating his form DDS180. What a pethetic joke we’ve become.

  17. I’m working on it, Lee.

  18. Nope.. Apparently HaShem gave up the whole ‘irony lightning’ thing a while ago.. about the time the Protestants took over.

    A pity.. a vengeful G-d would so come in handy these days.

    Otherwise, brilliant dialogue, Jeff.

  19. - What will break the back of this Choom gang in the WH, including fearless Leader, is if one of the upper eschelon crooks gets tired of being used as a tool for the bullshit narrative and Utopia pie in the sky and decides to simply rat out the whole mess.

    – How many lying balls can the WH politboro keep aloft until one falls and the whole house of cards comes crashing down. Don;t know, but maybe someone should consult with Nixons ghost.

  20. maybe someone should consult with Nixons ghost.

    Better to ask Vince Foster’s ghost.

  21. Let’s play “Who’s Howard Baker?”

  22. Eric Holder’s Soul: You like a wuss. I’m going to keep pissing on you.

    Me: Shit.

    Eric Holder’s Soul: No shitting on you is your own party’s job.

    Sentator McCain : Piss in his eyes! I want to see the little hairy footed wacko bird crying! Nobody disrespects my daughter.

    Eric Holder’s Soul and Me in unsion: HA! EVERYONE DISRESPECTS YOUR DAUGHTER!

    Senator McCain : Oh…Fuck you!

    Obama: I already fucked everybody enough for one day McCain. Got to save something for tomorrow. Sheesh.

  23. - Wonder who will play the part of “the spook who sat by the door” in this version of the man who would be king.

  24. leigh says May 28, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    I request that the phrase “Kabuki Theatre” be banned.

    I’ve been trying to push the GOP as “the party of Noh”, but it won’t catch on…

  25. - Lee Harvey….where are you now that we need you.

  26. I like that mondamay. In fact, I was going to suggest that in my original post and thought I might be reaching.

    It’s settled. I’m going with Party of Noh.

  27. - Well we’ve certainly become the Land of Nim, so it fits Leigh.

  28. Drum, flutes, masks and Japanese wailing? The party of HELL Noh (maybe).

  29. - Its just precious the way the WH is keeping Bumblefuck “busy” these days. The latest is his roundelay with his fat-fuck lover in NJ. *spit*

  30. sorry, leigh, if the phrase is over-used, but when the f**k do “journalists” cozy up with the White House to discuss the acceptable ways for the President to tell them what is fit to print?

  31. Gotta come up with an alternative for consideration first leigh.

    Noh Theater

    Théâtre de l’absurde

    Ionesco

  32. Darleen, I propose that we begin calling “journalists” reporters again, “educators” teachers and “attorneys”lawyers again until they show the proper respect for us, the Great Unwashed.

    Sadly, reporters have been on the payroll at the WH since the days of the broadsheets. They just have a larger venue now with cable tv and twitter.

  33. Well we’ve certainly become the Land of Nim, so it fits Leigh.

    Boy howdy. Ain’t that the truth, BBH?

  34. I see my clever mention of the other traditional Japanese theater form has come too late to be original.

    Blast you all for your perspicacity!

  35. Think of it as Cosmic Consciousness, di. Great Minds Thinking Alike, and all that.

  36. I get the comparisons with Nixon (of which there have been a lot lately) but there is one major difference between RMN and BHO: Nixon was competent to hold the office.

  37. A more contemporary designation might be the Firesign Theater, which could plausibly claim We’re All Bozos On This Bus when speaking of “simulated exhilaration”.

  38. Ever wonder how nishi is taking all of this? I do.

    And I am chuckling, a little, gleefully, while I wonder.

  39. - We are now being treated, or totured, take you pick, with long winded opiniom pieces temporizing Holder/DoJ/SecState, IRS, as being sorrowful, but just maybe over zealous in trying to do a good job for America.

    – Its all patent bullshit.

    – In the end, all of these intimidation programs were aimed at one thing, dragging Bumblefuck safely across the finish line, and they all think they’ve won.

    – We’ll see.

  40. Think of it as Cosmic Consciousness, di. Great Minds Thinking Alike, and all that.

    More like an echo chamber. :-)

  41. Ever wonder how nishi is taking all of this? I do.

    With the same dose of denial, lack of self-reflection, and moral vacuity as she always has.

  42. Aw, Jeff, quit with the fiction, already. Everyone knows that Holder doesn’t have a soul.

  43. BigBangHunter says May 28, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    – We are now being treated, or totured, take you pick, with long winded opiniom pieces temporizing Holder/DoJ/SecState, IRS, as being sorrowful, but just maybe over zealous in trying to do a good job for America.

    And anyway… Sandy!

  44. Red, he has a soul. Its just that it is in the union and had that day off.

  45. Heh. When I first spotted the post’s title, I read “my brief conversation with Eric Holder’s cunt.”

    Don’t know why, but that made more sense than the notion he has a soul.

  46. - More logs on the fire.

    – Apparently he was sorrowful after he wasn’t. Maybe him and Kerry studied under the same Marxist tutor.

  47. Eric Holder: Satan’s pillow-biter

  48. Eric Holder’s soul is contained in a decanter on Screwtape’s dining table.

    For those occasions when garlic just doesn’t offer the desired kick.

  49. More logs on the fire.

    On the one hand, I hate autoplay, and I especially hate autoplay that advances straight to the next video. On the other hand, the Breitbart site went from Obama’s expression of “confidence” in Holder directly to footage of a train wreck.

    Still no irony lightning.

  50. With a view to minding his own safety, George Zimmerman refused comment on the state of Eric Holder’s soul.

  51. Zimmerman’s lawyer needs to ask for a new judge. Again. Or make ye olde motion for a mistrial and outright dismissal of all charges right out of the gate.

  52. Gotta come up with an alternative [to Kabuki theater] for consideration first leigh.

    Noh Theater
    Théâtre de l’absurde
    Ionesco

    I propose pantomime justice.

  53. I believe that’s covered under Kangaroo court.

  54. - Lee Harvey….where are you now that we need you.

    Even as a rueful, despairing joke, that doesn’t work. Kennedy was far more useful to the Left in death than he ever was in life.

  55. What are all these hearing about, if not justice?

    Note: political advantage may be the de facto answer, but it shouldn’t be the de jure one.

  56. Barack Obama was groomed for this, a stealth agent. Even some liberals are starting to pause.

    Professor of Constitution Goes to War Against It

  57. Charlesw @ 1:43, I’m thinking you may be right about the union soul, but Holder’s has one of those “no-show” jobs.

  58. - “Shovel ready excuses”?

  59. Leigh @12:13, sorry, I’m late to the party as usual.
    In the same vein as retiring “kabuki theatre”, can we retire the word “outrage”? That one wore out from extreme overuse.

  60. via levin

    weiner-holder 2016

  61. Oh, I agree Red. Those people must be exhausted from being outraged all the time.

  62. BigBangHunter says May 28, 2013 at 12:36 pm

    – Wonder who will play the part of “the spook who sat by the door” in this version of the man who would be king.

    I see what you did there, racist.

    Just calling a spade a spade.

  63. “Eric Holder’s soul”

    Objection, your Honor. Assumes facts not entered into evidence.

  64. This from Serr8d”s link:

    “Conservatives try to increase economic liberty but show less regard for civil liberties.”

    This is one of those chicken/egg thingees, isn’t it?

    Because, as we all kn0w, Conservatives “show less regard for civil liberty”. Liberty is all about the display of something/something really important.

  65. “Liberals care deeply about civil liberties while trying to restrict the economic kind.”

    Evidenced by the tepid response to the IRS scandal, I assume, or any number of other “civil” issues in the last seven years, for that matter. If I had to guess it would be that certain groups have “civil liberties”, while other groups, not so much.

    Ox goring; How does it work?

  66. There’s a guy named Mithras who knows a thing or two about that. Seemed to be his shtick, even.

  67. Pingback: Steynian 470nst | Free Canuckistan!

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