May 22, 2005

Scenes from my driveway, continued x 56

Deadbeat neighbor:  “Is it true the Syrian army is fighting against us in Iraq?”*

Me: “I dunno.  Who cares?”

Deadbeat neighbor: “Well, wouldn’t that mean Syria is, y’know, declaring war on us?  That’s kind of a big deal, I would think…”

Me:  “Feh, whatever.  Fleas biting at the ankles of an elephant.  No, it’s Pepsico that I want a piece of.  The unpatriotic softdrink bastards.”*

Deadbeat neighbor:


Deadbeat neighbor: “Not a fan of the Wild Cherry and Vanilla, I take it –?”

Me: “—CHARGE…!”

Posted by Jeff G. @ 8:55pm

Comments (14)

  1. As resident Pepsi Pimp, I heartily suggest trying the Pepsi Lime.  No argument on the vanilla—I think whomever came up with the vanilla-cola idea should have all fingers smashed with a ball pien hammer.

    Full Disclosure Note:  Blackjack owns Pepsi stock, has been known to shill for them in order to curry favor and if he dressed better than a typical flood victim, we would swear he is on the payroll. 

  2. I had a can of Pepsi with lunch.  The terrorists have won.

  3. Wait, people actually drink that crap?  I don’t believe it.

  4. I kinda like the new Pepsi One, made with Splenda instead of Nutra Sweet.  But it doesn’t seem to have enough caffeine.  Which defeats the purpose.  Because I’m a web freak.  I never see the sun.

  5. These Neighbor posts are my sole reason to live.  Great work, Jeff.  Oh, and Gladys Knight, too.

  6. JEFF!!

    A. Huffington thinks you’re a “retard”!

    What an honor!

    (Just scroll down towards the bottom)

  7. Oh, my.  This is the GREATEST BLOG EVER!!!!  That was the best writing, the funniest stuff…..wait is this Huffington’s Toast??  Sorry.

  8. Thanks Marcus.  Saw that.  It’s nice to be loved.

    Speaking of which, here you go, Craig:

    We’ll miss you!  Don’t forget to send a postcard!

  9. I’ve been thinking that Syria’s next for a while. A little quieter than Afghanistan or Iraq – we got some Syrian regulars fighting us? Get out the air …

  10. Careful with that, Jeff. You don’t want the outrage police all up in here, do you ?

  11. So whats not to like about the image of the US as the ‘Middle Finger to the World” ?

    All I have to say is ;

    “America, Fuck Yeah !

    Comin again to save the Motherfuckin Day, Yeah !

    Terrorists your game is through..

    Cuz now you have to answer to..

    America, Fuck Yeah ! “

    (Flips the world the finger..)

  12. Hmmm.

    Just curious Jeff.  What’s your opinion on this stuff?

    Rising Sun



    Heh.  It’s pretty strange stuff.  The only question I have is the translation from Japanese.  Since I don’t read or write Japanese, I couldn’t say whether or not the translations are correct.  But if anybody around does read/write Japanese, I’d appreciate verification.

    Still pretty damn strange.

  13. LGF’s translations are basically correct.