January 11, 2013

The Obamiad [Darleen Click]

Book the First by Tarzana Joe

Canto 1

Speak, O Muse, inform me of this idea that’s been floated
Of our financial future—light as lead—but platinum coated
A scheme to swell the debt promoted by the best and brightest
That to the average citizen makes no sense in the slightest
Sisters of invention, boon to artists, wise and fair
Tell us how they’ll make a trillion bucks out of thin air
And how to wipe out savings from both coasts clear to Des Moines
Simply by the minting of a single platinum coin

Come, O Muse, sing clearly, leaving nothing veiled or hinted
Of how they plan to have our cash not worth the paper printed
And when their plan is criticized tell how they have defensed it
By snarky smugly smirking that there’s not a law against it
They’ll make of our finances but a pile of debris
‘Till we’re all without a paddle drifting on the wine-dark sea

Oh gods of might and glory on Olympus still reclining
Spare us from the future that these dolts have been designing
Grant to us a budget where frugality is favored
And a noble legislature where some common sense is savored

Tell, Muse of wiser men who thought the idea was a crock
A trillion dollar coin would make our state a laughing stock
That such a circumvention is the crudest of devices
That surely will precipitate a dire, deeper crisis
Then worldly wise Obama roused himself and raised his head
“A trillion dollar coin? Sounds good to me!” he said.

Posted by Darleen @ 11:17pm

Comments (19)

  1. Yeah, that’s kinda brilliant.

  2. I really think we need to start keeping an eye on the “insanity lobby,” who appear to be trying to mainstream schizophrenia.

    “Let’s totally have a department violate the debt limit by loaning a trillion dollars to another department which will hopefully later pay it back with other money they will borrow from a third government department.”

    On the other hand, once check kiting is legal again…

  3. “US Q4 GDP: From 2.5% To Sub 1% in Under Six Months”



  4. Very well done, Darleen.

    I never thought I’d see a plot from “The Simpons” proposed as a solution to our debt problems.

    The Trouble with Trillions

  5. Ha, Blake that was in the WSJ yesterday.

  6. leigh, what was the line about farce and tragedy?

    Is the second Obama term tragedy or farce?

    Anway, I didn’t see the Taranto article, however, it doesn’t surprise me that someone brought up “The Simpson.”

    I wish I could laugh at this crap, but it isn’t funny any more. It’s downright scary.

  7. I’m kinda perplexed whether we ought (or not) to regard the entire platinum bullion trillion coin episode as fundamentally unserious in its substance, but serious for the distraction from other more serious matters it can provide, in the manner of a stage magician drawing the eye away from the ultimate goal of the trick.

  8. I’ve begun to wonder if Obammunism isn’t just one endless Möbius strip of distractions, with no underlying plot.

    (And autocorrect put the umlaut in “Möbius” for me.)

  9. There is a kind of theme to this pudding: dismantlement of the U.S. Constitutional order. Seems to follow easily wherever Obazma goes.

  10. Somebody should print up some bazzillion dollar bills with Bumblefucks face on them.

    You could make a mint.

  11. The cult in action.

  12. SDferr,
    For what it’s worth, I’ve concluded the Platinum Coin hype is a hoax.

    If only because it has to be, right!?

    Pondering the ways that a gross currency flop might become legal tender, though, is still a useful exercise. So we’ve got that going for us.

  13. Darleen, did you compose that poetic post?

    I enjoyed the read. It’s almost fine art!

    On a personal note: It is nice to see someone else summoning her “Muses” besides me.

  14. McGehee, I think you’ve come up with the perfect trillion dollar coin design: one sided with only one boundary, though a Klein Bottle with no boundary and no notion of right and left might be more representational.

  15. Geoffb

    I’m only surprised that the call to call him “President Barack Obama” in every instance wasn’t accompanied by an insistence on genuflection or, at least, an “mmm, mmm, mmm”

  16. I have a Billion Dollar Bill somewhere from an old Alice Cooper album. I wonder if it’s legal tender now?

  17. Darleen, did you compose that poetic post?

    It was composed by Tarzana Joe, the poet laureate of the Hugh Hewitt show. He presents a poem on the latest political absurdity every Friday.

  18. Maybe he can hoodwink Obazma and get in on the Inauguration instead of the fey Cuban guy with his angsty poetry about being a mnistunderstood gay dude in a culture that breathes machismo.