January 8, 2013


Little bastard thinks he’s quick. Or that just because I’m watching porn I’m easily distracted. But it turns out my peripheral vision works fine, thanks, and when it comes to iPhone camera draws, few are quicker than I.


Admit it: you’ve got goosebumps right now. I mean, it’s almost like catching a glimpse of Bigfoot, isn’t it?

Posted by Jeff G. @ 1:17pm

Comments (55)

  1. Thanks to LMC for the very cool can holders!

  2. Is he having relations with your beer?

  3. I honestly don’t want to know what he does with the can once he’s done sucking down its contents. There’s a chance he mounts it, sure. But then, one time he merely poked a few holes in one with scissors and used it as a bong.

  4. In old soviet union porn also watches youuuuu…

  5. Damn if I didn’t know there’s evil abroad in the world, and here the visual evidence: how low can it go? Lower. With theft expropriation of a stout being only the latest example.

  6. I think Guinness, even “imported” Guinness would probably kill an armadillo, if not set the little carcass on fire afterwards, forming the zoochemical product known as Cingulata dioxide.

  7. My whole worldview was predicated on the belief that the ‘dillo was a fiction by Jeff, created to keep us coming back each Friday to see him dance, only to have the football snatched away time and time again. I reckoned he was just making stuff up to amuse himself at our expense.

    And now there’s definitive photo proof.

    This is just like the Tooth Fairy debacle of my youth. I’ll be under my desk, whimpering, in the fetal position.

  8. I didn’t know he’d be made out of vinyl. That was a definite surprise. Could be an Auton.

  9. Seven-plated. Well, that explains a lot…

  10. Just keep him away from my Scotch or there’ll be lots of tiny smoking armadillo shards scattered all over.

    And if I hadn’t sunk my guns in the pond that would only be the beginning.

  11. The most important meme that I ever totally missed: Bacon Wrapped Twinkie Stone Henge.


  12. Damn. He’s not dancing, and where’s the dolphin in a peacoat? That little bastard has to be behind the heist.

    ‘dillo stealing my Guinness? There’s a grill for that.

  13. Palaeo, that’s one of those things you display to tell someone their argument is invalid.

  14. This is just like the Tooth Fairy debacle of my youth

    Do tell. Like the photo above, something happened that proved the Tooth Fairy was real?

    Don’t tell me your Dad dressed up in a pink tutu with ruffles and wings to swap the tooth under your pillow for some actual coinage? Catching your dad in that act could put a kid into therapy….

  15. Here’s my theory. They read him on pw, in tight trousers. He’s got, you know, armadillos in his trousers. I mean, it’s really quite frightening, the size. And they run screaming.

  16. Do tell.

    I was making it all up.

  17. Little armored rat bastard.

  18. What is it with you guys and that damn pink tutu? Will I never live that down!?

  19. from Project Veritas’ James O’Keefe:

    On Monday we wrapped up filming on our latest video series – which is slated for immediate release, just as soon as production is complete.

    This time we took our investigation straight to the doorsteps of so-called journalists like never before.

    I can hardly wait to show you the footage – the hypocrisy and sad comedy of what we captured is truly unprecedented.


  20. Come on, dicentra, I was giving you an opening to spin your own version of a dancing ‘dillo tale.

  21. What is it with you guys and that damn pink tutu? Will I never live that down!?

    I admire you for putting it on for “The Cause”, but did you really need to shave your legs too? Or was that just to make the tights feel good on your skin?

  22. The tights were rented. Returning them with leg hair caught up in them would have cost me my deposit.

  23. Huh-huh-huh. I said “deposit.”

  24. When I was kid my father told me that the tooth fairy had been killed in a drunk driving accident and that DeBeers had subsequently bought the whole tooth market and shut it down because they don’t tolerate competition.

  25. I never thought there’d be a “Yes, Virginia” moment on PW.

  26. Dance, Panzer Rat!

    Dance, dammit!

  27. There’s got to be a ‘dillo hiding in there somewhere.

  28. Would he be a hobbit or a visigoth?

  29. dinner

  30. they wear funny boots too

  31. Admit it: you’ve got goosebumps right now. I mean, it’s almost like catching a glimpse of Bigfoot, isn’t it?

    Yes, it is!

  32. Oh, and a belated Happy Birthday to Satchel!

  33. Ed Martin elected new chairman of Missouri Republican Party in anti-establishment victory

    Maybe the armadillo should run for a state GOP chairmanship. Question is, where?

  34. at least the ‘dillo be marinaded

  35. Okay Di got mad at me and used her psychic powers to knock me off the the internet. Or maybe it was my cable company. Something like that. Some hostile external force. Whatever. I had to read a couple chapters in my book.

  36. i think brineing armadillo is needed. it is like chicken no?

  37. No, Abe, they were dinner in Arkansas too. My late maternal grandfather swore that it tasted like pork; his recipe basically involved using it in a stew. I was never quite brave enough to try it, and it was one of those hunter’s recipes that was never the same way twice depending on what else was available.

  38. Nobody around here eats them, not even the ‘stinky oily opossum’ eating people. It’s probably the leprosy rumors.

  39. I had no idea they were edible. It sounds like something you take away from the dogs.

  40. I don’t think the leprosy deal is a rumor. I am pretty sure if you eat the wrong ‘dillo you could wind up with the brain of a proggtard.

    Meanwhile, has anybody else heard about this shit?

    A suit filed in federal court charges the Environmental Protection Agency with conducting illegal and potentially lethal experiments on hundreds of financially needy people who were paid $12/hour without even informing them of risks. Based upon thousands of documents obtained through the Freedom of Information Act, procedures undertaken since 2004 and continuing through the Obama administration exposed subjects at the University of North Carolina’s School of Medicine to very high levels of toxic air pollutants. Many of these subjects were already health-impaired, suffering from asthma, metabolic syndrome, and aging (up to 75 years old).

  41. That might very well be prelude to a dance, if he can get enough of ’em down without getting busted!

  42. B Moe, what were they given? Carbon dioxide?

  43. Shouldn’t an armadillo be drinking Corona, or Dos Equis, or Tecate or something?

    Guiness just seems like more of a hedgehog thing, I’m sayin’.

  44. It does indeed, John. ;^)

  45. Down in Florida some clean them, return the carcass to the shell, then roast. When cut up and stewed I doubt many people could tell the difference between armadillo and rabbit. One of the better fish camp gumbos I’ve ever had was soft shell turtle and armadillo.

  46. Busted? I thought it was a he.

  47. I am astounded – next up, a true sighting of the Loch Ness Monster?!

  48. John, you obviously don’t know the ‘dillo standard for quality booze: “Anything that’ll pour!”

  49. John Bradley, that should have been…