December 24, 2012

Matt Damon: actor, genius, fracking expert

That’s right. My Christmas Eve morn was unexpectedly interrupted by an inadvertent stop on the “Kelly and Michael” show, where I heard Matt Damon explaining — unchallenged, but with very serious and concerned head-nodding by the know-nothings paid to allow the actor, genius, and now fracking expert to pimp his latest mediocre movie — just how serious an environmental concern fracking is, and, well, Big Oil, tainted water tables, fiery faucets, etc.

— Which put me in a piss-poor mood in a matter of 5 seconds, tops.

So. Rather than let Matt Damon ruin my Christmas, as he is wont to do, I’ve decided to shut it down for the day and spend time with my family.

Merry Christmas to all those here who celebrate it; and happy holidays to the rest of you! Hug your kids, kiss your spouse, fist-bump your friends, watch “It’s a Wonderful Life,” and forget about your enemies for just a couple of days.

Because like Matt Damon, fuck those stupid assholes.

There you go. Christmas Spirit!

Posted by Jeff G. @ 9:39am

Comments (19)

  1. Matt Damon.

    Matt. Damon. Matt Damon!


  2. (Also: the wordplay offered by creative uses of “fracking” in these contexts will never not be amusing.)

  3. It seems I will go sailing today. So hail all, hale be, merry Christmas prep day, wassail!, wassups, and wolcom yole.

  4. Merry Christmas, Jeff.

    I’m heading to the gun store to pick up a hunting license and a pig tag. (My wife purchased a guided pig hunt for me. Woot!)

  5. Matt Damon, whose movie was paid for by an oil rich nation? That Matt Damon?

  6. Happy holidays to the whole PW family and especially to our esteemed (and now award winning!) host!

  7. Matt Damon

    All you have to know about Matt Damon is he loves him some Howard Zinn.

  8. I seem to recall some actress testifying before Congress as a witness on Alar(?) because she once played a farmer’s wife or something.

    Narcissism isn’t just for Obama.

  9. And paid for by not so rich people freely giving we have another film.

  10. Greetings:

    It probably traces back to my first year of college in which my father turned me over to the Jesuits to see what contribution they would make to the shaping of my character and intellect, but then, being Bronx raised, I was never very susceptible to the blandishments of others, especially sex workers, politicians, actors, and actoresses.

    For my truck truck-driver father, it was simple. Sex workers sell themselves; politicians sell everyone they can. So, to me, the last two categories became, simply, those practiced at repeating the words and portraying the emotions of others, not a particularly strong reference for a source of information.

    Unfortunately, our rulers and their toadies believe otherwise.

  11. “May all my enemies go to hell,
    Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel.–Hilaire Belloc

    Oh, and “On earth peace to men of good will.”–Luke 2:14.

    They’re not mutually exclusive.
    Merry Christmas!

  12. Last minute shopping has been hell. Thanks, Mayans!

  13. I’d rather see hobbits again

  14. I noticed that the trailer did not have a disclaimer stating that it was propaganda funded by foreign competitors of the companies it impugns.

    Somebody should do something about that, just like other political ads have that “I am a douchebag and I approve of this message” thing.

    They could have “paid for by Middle Eastern Oil Companies and their State Sponsors” at the end of the credits.

  15. “forget about your enemies for just a couple of days.”

    Good idea, a two day cease-fire to reload!

    Merry Christmas Outlaws!

  16. Matt Damon is about as much an expert on fracking as Meryl Streep was when she was called to testify before Congress about farming concerns because she played the wife of a farmer in a movie once…

    Which, in this day and age, would probably pass for Science, because SCARY!

    I quit hoping for the best, now I just try and figure out how to make ammo in my garage from supplies that won’t set off any inquiring minds.

  17. (Also: the wordplay offered by creative uses of “fracking” in these contexts will never not be amusing.)

    Heh…just ask Sarah Silverman (spit) …

  18. Science molts again and again and again as scientists discover they were wrong.

    Science!(TM) stays the same. (Just like religious faith traditions and conspiracy theories).