Matt Damon: actor, genius, fracking expert
That’s right. My Christmas Eve morn was unexpectedly interrupted by an inadvertent stop on the “Kelly and Michael” show, where I heard Matt Damon explaining — unchallenged, but with very serious and concerned head-nodding by the know-nothings paid to allow the actor, genius, and now fracking expert to pimp his latest mediocre movie — just how serious an environmental concern fracking is, and, well, Big Oil, tainted water tables, fiery faucets, etc.
— Which put me in a piss-poor mood in a matter of 5 seconds, tops.
So. Rather than let Matt Damon ruin my Christmas, as he is wont to do, I’ve decided to shut it down for the day and spend time with my family.
Merry Christmas to all those here who celebrate it; and happy holidays to the rest of you! Hug your kids, kiss your spouse, fist-bump your friends, watch “It’s a Wonderful Life,” and forget about your enemies for just a couple of days.
Because like Matt Damon, fuck those stupid assholes.
There you go. Christmas Spirit!