November 3, 2012

BREAKING: SHEP SMITH SCOURING STATEN ISLAND FOR CANNIBALS

So far he’s been unsuccessful — he’s finding lots of misery, property damage, dislocation, power outages, and the sort of thing you’d find after any kind of major national disaster in a city perhaps too reliant on government services for cleanup, but as of yet no Staten Island natives squatting ape-like over the carcasses of their fellow Islanders, sawing off chunks of flesh with the lids from empty tuna cans and roasting the meat over smallish electrical fires — but he’ll keep looking, because that’s his job.

But the truth is, Shep knows that this is no Katrina, and that things like cannibalism and federal government indifference to natural devastation only happen when Republicans are in office — BUSH! for example — regardless of whether or not those administrations pretend to care by, say,  sending in the National Guard or immediately signing off on aid to a devastated region or deferring to the state’s governor.

So yes, while people are suffering all over New York and New Jersey, and the governmental response thus far seems, beyond a number of press interviews, a helicopter tour, and some photo ops, to be scattershot and ineffective, there is at least one significant difference between how the Obama administration and the Bush administration handled Hurricanes Sandy and Katrina respectively:  namely, Obama doesn’t hate black people.    While it was clear Bush did, as Shep was able to document in a number of gut-wrenching and hard hitting reports.  And this non-hatred of blacks by Obama is precisely why the urban poor aren’t eating each other in alleyways in Staten Island, while in New Orleans, the Superdome was filled with snacking, gore-soaked refugees from Bush’s racist indifference.

I know, because Shep Smith was on the scene then to detail the horrors of Katrina.  While today?  It’s possible that, real soon, the trains will run on time — and that a spirit of bipartisanship has so overtaken the very atmosphere that both New York and New Jersey (did not Chris Christie’s suspension of partisan rancor and obeisance toward the Won not bring a tear to your eye?) will heal almost magically.

And this is the takeaway:  The nightmare of Katrina is being washed away by the collectivist efforts to reclaim NY and NJ from Hurricane Sandy — which is only possible with a President who doesn’t hate black people and who will not in any way politicize the storm.

I know, because that’s what the media is telling me.  And I believe everything the media says because I’m not some fringe kook who sees leftwing bias in every last oversampled poll or Soledad O’Brien interview.

 

 

Posted by Jeff G. @ 12:14pm
45 comments | Trackback

Comments (45)

  1. He’ll find cannibals. It will be rats eating each other, but they have the same right to be there that the humans do, right?

  2. In the 2000 election, the problem was “chads”.

    In the 2012 election, is the problem going to be “CHUDs”?

  3. Ezactly. Having weathered Katrina and all it’s blame-Bush aftermath, Proggs are now gently reminding themselves — read: us — that gentle Obama government’s primary responsibility is gentle compassion and human services and so on and so on and that Obama, while momentarily gently distracted by the urgency of His second term — in Las Vegas — should be gently reminded to reexert that care and compassion that elected him in 2008 here in 2012.

    It all adds up. If you’re a gentle blind lying zealot it makes complete sense. They’re the 52 and they love you because they hate you and they love you and like that.

  4. The fat fuck said this wasn’t even a hurricane so hurricane deductible need not apply. That’ll do wonders for insurance rates in jersey.

  5. *deductibles* i mean

  6. Cannibals like make up/ it’s like frosting

  7. If he wants to find a cannibal he should look in the mayor’s office. Nannyberg has been feeding on his fellow New Yorkers for 11 years now.

  8. A parasite that feeds on its own species is a cannibal. That’s what I say and I’m sticking to it.

  9. I don’t think there are any black people on Staten Island.

    The question they should be asking is why does Obama hate white people.

  10. It’s like the Wild West': Lawlessness and fear take over the outer boroughs as they enter sixth day without power

    Residents claim they are the ‘forgotten victims’ of Sandy
    Also say that lack of power and law enforcement means more looting and violent crime
    Those in stricken areas stockpiling weapons like kitchen knives, machetes, and bats to protect themselves
    Coney Island residents say they are forced to ‘scavenge for food like animals’
    Power unlikely to be returned to Brooklyn, Queen’s and Staten Island until sometime next week

    link

  11. Artemus Gordon is on the Case!

  12. Mr buttons Mr buttons it’s good to see you making the comments especially in these super tedious pre-election doldrums

  13. - The CIA report of just a few days ago – also a pack of lies…..the drip, drip, drip of Benghazi continues:

    But according to multiple people on the ground that night, the Blue Mountain Security manager, who was in charge of the local force hired to guard the consulate perimeter, made calls on both two-way radios and cell phones to colleagues in Benghazi warning of problems at least an hour earlier. Those calls allegedly went to local security contractors who say that the CIA annex was also notified much earlier than 9:40 p.m. U.S. military intelligence also told Fox News that armed militia was gathering up to three hours before the attack began.

    One source said the Blue Mountain Security chief seemed “distraught” and said “the situation here is very serious, we have a problem.” He also said that even without these phone and radio calls, it was clear to everyone in the security community on the ground in Benghazi much earlier than 9:40 p.m. that fighters were gathering in preparation for an attack.

    – Looks like no one is willing to take the fall for Jug ears.

  14. Nr, there is a story in the NY Daily News that is very similar about the residents of Far Rockaway being left to their own devices.

    It’s like watching a modern day episode of Copper which is set in Five Points in 1870 or there abouts.

  15. Does anyone have an recommendations on a charity to fund? I’d like to donate something, but I really worry it’d be like pissing into the stagnant Staten water.

  16. The pdbuttons human fund is pretty cool

  17. try beck’s mercury one
    http://www.mercuryone.org/

  18. Pictures of …my.. Autistic nieces are fine on my election mailer but then u gotta feed em

  19. Yeah, that’s the one I was thinking of Newrouter.

    Okay, I’ll do it.

  20. Salvation Army. Screw the Red Cross and the big charities. Or contact your local churches and see which ones are involved in collecting relief supplies.

  21. I love the salvation army but it’s tricky to get ur money to the disaster they tend to give the monies to the one nearest the address associated with your credit card… used to at least

  22. I like to throw change into the wind cuz when it lands im about 5 ft in the future and when it hits the ground it makes a tinkle noise . I like to think an Angel gets its wings every time I do that bu tpeople are disgusting and they say” Did U just throw money in the air?’ but they aren’t the people who are on their knees picking up pennies so I don’t respond cuz I know Japanese sex robots only take plastic

  23. They should send Tommy Tuberville to scour Staten Island for cannibals. He sure as hell isn’t doing any good coaching Texas Tech. The loser.

  24. - My autistic Japanese sex robot doesn’t eat much, just a little extra virgin olive oil from time to time and its good to go.

  25. my Japanese sex robot wants 2 meet the 2 remaining Beatles and kill them . Im teaching it the melody to ” My Ding-a-ling’ My robot is very likeable

  26. Here’s to hoping the cannibals find him.

  27. Donate
    wee wee wee all the way to market
    Donate

  28. what wine goes with fillet of shemp?

  29. Sheep?

    Cantaloube knew from sheep herds and shepherds .

  30. hmmm no idea but for a side you could do corn on the cob but you have to load up the water you boil it in with butter

  31. - Sounds like a job for Paula Dean.

  32. yes yes just so it should be done as if it were an homage to paula

  33. ????????

  34. ????????

  35. Schafe können sicher weiden,
    Wo ein guter Hirte wacht.
    Wo Regenten wohl regieren,
    Kann man Ruh und Friede spüren
    Und was Länder glücklich macht.

  36. obviously this site can’t google translate corn on the cob japanesee
    me so sorry

  37. Kraftwerk – Das Model

  38. I have it on good authority — the S-I-L lives on Staten Island — that they didn’t resort to cannibalism but they were about ready to microwave the neighbor’s cat except that the microwave wouldn’t work because the power was out and then when they got the power back on after five grueling hours the can opener would work so they had some nice smoked oysters and and brie and water crackers with a nice bottle of red I sent them last Christmas instead and they’re really glad that power came back on because just brie and water crackers and wine would be too much to bear and they didn’t dare cook anything on the gas stove with the power out and a disaster shouldn’t be so disastery with all the local delis like closed early and even the Starbucks across the street wasn’t serving and if this really was a disaster why did they have to go to work the next day anyway and …..

    Thankfully my wife walked in at that point and I handed the phone to her.

  39. Dumpster juice,,it only smells if ur friend point it out

  40. Sheep May Safely Graze

    No way I recognized that from reading the German.

  41. I’m thinking of marketing a sign that says:

    Looters that survive
    their bullet wounds
    will be hung

    Maybe with some sorta graphic of a zombie getting his head blown off.

    That and a Twinky would probably fetch ten bucks.

  42. Ping ping Ping
    Im richochet Rabbit!

  43. It’s nice to see unions fucking over someone other than their own membership for a change.

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