“ALLSTATE: Obese Drivers Lowering Fuel Efficiency”
Obama was right: it’s all about tire pressure. Moreover, Michelle was right: we can’t have fat people out there being all fat if we want a clean, fuel-efficient, healthy, and aesthetically pleasing world free of obese people, be they in cars or on streets or (god forbid) in her line of vision.
Allstate Insurance says as new cars get lighter, drivers are heavier — and the result is lower fuel efficiency at a time when the government is demanding better mileage.
“Federal regulators are requiring 54.5 MPGs for cars and trucks by 2025. But even as the automotive industry goes to extremes to shed weight to meet these rules, heavier drivers are adding unexpected pounds. And that impact fuels consumption,” says a blog on the Allstate website, as noted by the Chicago Tribune.
According to the blog, “the weight gain of Americans is blamed for more than 1 billion gallons of wasted fuel each year.”
Allstate, in conjunction with Cars.com, created an “infographic” to”document what it calls the complex struggle between fuel efficiency and passenger weight.
It says that between 1962 and 2002, one billion gallons of gasoline a year could be attributed to the weight gain of people riding in non-commerical vehicles. Every hundred pounds equals one fewer mile to the gallon.
As carmakers continue to reduce the weight of passenger vehicles, the only unknown is whether U.S. obesity will continue its upward trend, the infographic concludes.
Clearly there is but one answer to this problem, and no, it’s not “get the government to stop arbitrarily changing CAFE standards without the technology to make such changes safe or viable, but in the meantime compelling us all to drive around in the motor vehicle equivalent of a Mountain Dew can.” Because WHY DO YOU HATE FUEL EFFICIENCY?
No, the answer is bullet trains and — if Americans insist on keeping their cars — some sort of national diet or exercise program to shed those pounds to lower the cargo weight of motor vehicles. For clean air and clean water!
I can picture it now: parks filled with fat Americans in their bedazzled sweat suits dancing to the oldies each morning at dawn, then fed from government “suggested” menus, which will limit — but not restrict — choice (this is, after all, a free country), as well as keep portion sizes in line with parameters laid out by government health care guidelines.
But you do have a choice: you can give up your free health care, should you not wish to comply with “common sense rules” for “healthy living”; and you can also give up your driver’s license, driving being a privilege and not a right, because your selfish obesity is contributing to pollution and waste — not to mention, giving Mayor Michael Bloomberg the fucking creeps.
Mix in a salad, would you, middle America? For Chrissakes? That’s not government taking away your liberties. That’s government looking out for the collective interests of its citizens. For the greater good.
Now stop being so selfish. Sometimes, you gotta eat your peas.