March 1, 2005

The Martha Stewart Chronicles, day 145


Posted by Jeff G. @ 6:15am

Comments (16)

  1. “lady orchid”

    heh heh.

    She said “lady orchid”.

  2. Or as they say at Westminster, “Carlee in Wonderland.”

  3. Next week: Tips on sprucing up that ugly ankle bracelet.

  4. I hate to bust on Martha, but there ain’t no such thing as hundred-dollar-a-glass Shiraz.  There ain’t even hundred-dollar-a-bottle Shiraz.  Now, if you’re talking about Syrah, you can pay that much, but….not me.  French wine is way overrated.  I won’t even pay more than fifty dollars for the finest Napa Cab.  But that’s just me.

  5. And, where’s the fucking lesbian prison sex?

    Keyword, “groups” Ya can’t make this shit up.

  6. CraigC,

    I’m sure there will be plenty of good-bye presents in the days ahead.  Martha never disappoints her devoted fans.  Haven’t you learned a thing, unbeliever?

  7. Funny, sounds like freedom smells alot like incarceration in a women’s penitentiary.

  8. How DARE you call me an unbeliever, Jon?  Why, sputter, sputter….well, ok.

  9. Freedom in a women’s prison smells like fresh air, which is in very short supply as the places are absolutely air tight. If you smell clean air in a prison, something ain’t right, Billy Bob. Get the dogs. Just so as you know the next time you is in there.

  10. CraigC, Martha said Syrah. Martha knows her sybaritic pleasures.

  11. I’m going to miss this scamp’s adventures behind bars. 

    Man, I hope she gets in a knife fight in the shower room or something before the week is out, and gets stuck behind bars for even longer.  Otherwise, it’s back to Skinemax for my fill of women’s prison lesbonics.

  12. I give you eight days, max, before she finds this series, finds you, beats you to death with a very rare, 1956 emerald green 300 series bakelite phone, and leaves your body in the Arizona desert.

  13. You ought to put the series into a nice coffee table book format (full color glossy paper, & everything), and sell them in exclusive book stores in Aspen.

    I imagine Martha would pay big bucks to buy every copy available.

    Supply meets demand, price goes up, and then you hit ‘em with the “Directors Cut” for double the price.

    You know where to send my cut… wink

    Turing word: didnt (including the missing apostrophe). As in, “Oh, no, you ….!”

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