July 19, 2012

Friday. Right?

Don’t even think about it. Ever since the Roberts ruling, the little armored bastard’s been pulling tax revenue from local hookers for the various things they refuse to do.

His best yet? Was when he got this one spackle-faced trollop to refund him all his around the world money — plus throw in her last pack of Virginia Slim menthols — after he informed her that her refusal to dress up like a honey badger and let him sodomize her with a baguette covered in fire ants was now heavily penalized under the constitutional Taxing Authority of the US Congress.

Poor dumb dear never even knew what hit her.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 6:09pm

Comments (77)

  1. I’d been worrying about the Panzer rat. The rumors coming out of Caracas were getting a little megalomaniacal even for him.

  2. Sounds like you should get him registered with the Armadillo Breeder’s Association. He’s got some serious talent there, wouldn’t want those genes to be lost….

  3. From a new Businessweek article on that Krugman vs. Estonia thing:

    After college, [Estonian President Toomas Hendrik] Ilves went to grad school for psychology until he read Thomas Pynchon’s Gravity’s Rainbow. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to do after finishing the book, but he knew he was done with grad school. Ilves started translating Estonian poetry. He taught a course on the Estonian language.

    Jeff: Have you ever considered running for President of Estonia? It pays to keep all career options on the table, after all.

    Though I suppose after the meltdown, applications will be accepted for High Overlord of the newly-incorporated Amardillo County, Free State of Colorado, which wouldn’t suck either. Less travel, fewer Europeans. Win-win!

  4. Oh, here’s the link, fwiw.

  5. “Yeh, would you believe it. I hear he shot a 64 the other day, lucky stiff”

    ” The Ahlgrim family funeral home in Palatine ILL. rents out a unique game room in the basement of their funeral parlor for parties (except during services). Even though the arcade games, shuffle board, and pool tables are all popular the main attraction is the nine hole miniature golf course, complete with its own set of ‘hazard’ rules.

    – For instance players get a two stroke penalty for hitting grave stones sprinkled throughout the course and errant balls that fall into open graves are considered “out-of-bounds” and also count as a two stroke loss, alltough sinking a put in the tiny graves that are used for “cups” on each green is where its at, while your partner removes the cup flag – a white on black pirates skull.”

  6. That’s a sweet scam but the armored guy has to consider his other interests too: you set up the medicinal clinic, make the connections, next thing you know you’ve got bud, blow, guns, and hookers just a speed-dial away.
    Well, more bud, blow, guns, and hookers. Plus it WBAGNFARB

  7. – Looks like the wicked witch in Congress got her botoxed wrinkled old ass in hot water, and you kno what that doea to a witches do.

    – Tax returns for thee, but not for me. She said the tax returns thing “is a distraction and we need to get back on the economy”, thereby torpedoing Obama’s carefully managed campaign distraction stratedgy.

    (….Paging Rep Pelosi….would minority lesder Pelosi please pick up the White House courtesy phone….)

  8. Has he gotten his papers yet?

  9. via leigh

    WSI: Mr. Gerard has direct experience in toppling a government working directly with similar forces that would be in play here in the United States. You did some work on that…perhaps look more closely at what exactly happened in Brazil. It was a coup. An overthrow of government. A joint effort between Big Labor and certain business groups in which law enforcement helped facilitate the final push.

    Brazil was a regime change orchestrated by Leo Gerard and soon after personally and financially congratulated by the President of the United States.

    What is now being planned for the United States is not regime change – but the final implementation… and to use the words of the man calling himself Obama, the fundamental transformation of the United States of America that can only be assured by a second presidential term.

    That plan to ensure a second Obama term as it has been titled, is to take place “By Any Means Necessary”.


  10. Thanks, nr.

  11. pinkertons with some frick gerald

    United Steelworkers
    Five Gateway Center
    Pittsburgh PA 15222

  12. The armadillo already votes at five precincts scattered across three states, due to his … business interests in those localities. Hell, in Elkhart, Kansas he’s the chief of police.

  13. I am sensing a business opportunity for the armored rodent – could he franchise out his Taxing Authority pimp hand…er, paw?

  14. Someone shot up a midnight showing of Batman in Colorado near Denver last night. As usual it is being used as gun control fodder before many facts are in.

  15. – Gunman opens fire in Aurora Colorado movie theater…..developing….

  16. – Cinema 16 in Denver attacked by lone 24 year old gunman at Batman rising premier by 24 year old. Estinate 12 dead, 32 wounded.

  17. From CNN.

    The shooter used at least four guns — an “AK type” rifle, a shotgun and two handguns, the federal law enforcement official told CNN.
    In addition to looking into the possibilty of explosives, ATF agents also are conducting emergency traces on the weapons used to see how they were obtained, Mangan said.
    Aurora, a Denver suburb, is about 13 miles from Littleton, Colorado — site of the April 1999 Columbine High School massacre.

    In that incident, two teenage students, Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris, armed themselves with guns and bombs and opened fire inside the high school. They killed 13 people and wounding 23 others before killing themselves.

    From USA Today.

    The FBI tells NBC NEWS that the suspect was driving a car with Tennessee license tags but had been living locally.
    Update at 7:51 a.m. ET: NBC quotes two federal officials as identifying the shooting suspect as James Holmes, who was born December 13, 1987.

  18. – Gunman arrested, 24 yo James Holms of Denmer. Threw down tear gas canister and opened fire on crowded theater…..here….and

  19. – No, they were on this in a hurry. Mother is from San Diego. Immediayrly called police and identified the shooter as her son. Flying to Colorado. “You’ve got the right guy” mother telld polivr.

  20. – Witnesses say “sounded like fireworks….part of sound effects…..300 people in crowded theater…..bullets pierced walls…

  21. – 3 month old killed. Other children wounded.

    – What the hell was a baby doing at a midnight showing of a batman movie?

  22. – Other premiers in France and England cancelled until further notice…..”situation to dangerous” Warner Brothers studio announced this morning…Police find shooter sitting in car in movie parking lot….

  23. What the hell was a baby doing at a midnight showing of a batman movie?

    People are morons, that’s why.

    Where’s a picture of Mr. Shooter? What neighborhood does mom live in , BBH?

  24. – Police and media decend on mothers home here in Torrey pines highlands in San Diego…..Mothers name is Arlene Holmes ……shooter in body armor…..people crawl out of theater to escape….

  25. – Torry pines area Leigh, near the golf course by the glider port…..

  26. FOX is reporting that he was shooting “for 15-20 minutes”. I don’t think so.

  27. Thanks. That’s not a bad area, iirc.

  28. – Which means the family is well healed.

  29. – An upscale area. Million dollar homes.

  30. Yup. No Public Defender for him. So is he a disgruntled boyfriend? Just a loser? College drop-out?

  31. – He set of tear gas first then opened fire. Police checking his apartment near the theater for explosives.

  32. Ok. A tangential report about some woman who was at this shooting and was also at a big mall shooting in Toronto last year. She’s not being called a shooter, though.


  33. – Other than the initial reports from police concerning the mother shes in seclusion under police protection.

  34. Now newsies are debating about whether Mr. Shooter “legally” owned the weapons. What difference does that make?

  35. – One witness said there were three seperate attacks with periods in between. “People were slow to reacte at first, thinking it was part of the movie”.

  36. I’ve heard conflicting reports that mom is in Sandy and also that mom is on her way or in Colorado.

    “Buckets of ammunition” at the shooter’s apartment. What?

    Presbo is going to express his “sadness” over the shooting on teevee soon.

  37. – Oh you can bet the Lefturd press will try to use this to press for gun control.

  38. That works so well in Chicago.

  39. – Some nut somewhere picks up a gun and goes nuts and thats a really good reason to disarm everyone.

  40. The thin air in Aurora prolly made him go crazy. Or maybe he really hates Batman movies.

  41. – Well when she talked to police and the press earlier she said she was flying to Colorado, but that was before the cops surrounded her home and put her under protection. so its probably up in the air for now. The cops are probably trying to get the story from her and sort things out. Things are moving fast. She obviously half expected her son was going to go off the rails, based on her ealier statements.

  42. ABC News: “There’s a James Holmes of Aurora, CO, on the tea party site as well. We don’t know if this is the same James Holmes.”

    There are some 30 or so James Holmeses in the Denver area. It isn’t the same guy. Not the same age. No linky yet, but the guy has responded and asked people to not be complete morons.


  43. – Nothing funny about this sort of thing, but one witness was heard saying “Hollywood really needs to dial back the realism in its movies…”

  44. – I’m thinking that people everywhere should start hitting back at the press. Start asking if the rumors are true that announcers or news orgs are guilty of pedophelia or wife beating or child labor. The bastards have earned it.

  45. If his mom knew he was going off the rails, it sounds like she packed his butt off to Colorado to get him away from her.

    Now all the newsies are playing armchair psychiatrist. They know dick about this guy, but they are diagnosing him from the news reports.

    Dude is toast if he goes with an irresistable impluse defense, since he was wearing body armor and carrying four weapons.

  46. How long until we find out whether this was a deranged TEA Partier goaded on by Michelle Bachmann or just some mentally ill individual, allowed to buy guns because of faulty mental health and gun sales systems?

  47. OMG! Brian Ross* killed somebody!!!

    *This may or may not be the ABC News reporter. There’s really no way to know. But make sure you tell everyone.

  48. They floated that one already, mv. No go on the TEA Party/military connection.

  49. I’m serious about this. If the Pravda press insists on spreading unfounded rumors then they should be treated the same. Flooded with rimors on their orgs and reporters. Maybe after awhile they’ll get the message.

  50. – Theater is 28 miles from Columbine high school…..Locally they’re speculating on how the guy got in the theater. Exits are heavy and they open outward.

  51. – They’re interviewing a local guy who was in Columbine. Says its backwards to talk about taking guns from citizens. Says the press over playing and speculated makes these things far worse.

  52. If they want to play hardball, they’re vulnerable, for sure. Every newsanchor I’ve ever known has been one or all of these:

    1) an alcoholic, 2) promiscuous, 3) married multiple times, 4) in financial trouble

    My son worked with a bunch of students from the Journalism School when he was in college and doing lay-out for the school paper and said the same was true of print journalists.

  53. The Wonce is speechifying about this on the stump in Florida.

  54. – Bummbledict is yammering.

  55. He’s stealing from Dubya, too. “We will do everything possible to bring this criminal to justice.”

    Let’s wait till the trial okay, BO?

  56. “My daughters go to the movies” Yes, with their SS agents at their sides.

  57. – He should be talking at a news conference, not using it as a photo op at a stump speech in front of one of his southern Baptist ‘reponse’ audiances.

  58. The Panzer rat disappeared right about the time Fast & Furious started. Coincidence?

  59. – His audiance was children. He’s really an idiot.

  60. – He’s catching a lot of local flack for the “cheering” during his announcement. Well they are kids. No idea of the setiousness of the situation. Totally inappropriate.

    – Thats his handlers fault.

  61. – San Diego Police chief says they are protecting the family and continuing to interview the shooters mother.

  62. – New York Police Chief says there will be increased police security at theaters in NY.

    – So now we’ll probably add movie theaters to the places where you need photo ID.

    – “Shooter recently moved to Colorado. Was pursuing PHD.”

  63. Hmmmmm…

    I’m leaning toward Batman-fixated psychotic.

  64. – Already they’re talking about adding metal detectors and photo ID at ComicCon next year.

    – One good report – 6 month old baby survived – released from hospital.

  65. – Shooters apartment bobbytrapped with explosives.

  66. – News conference in front of mothers home. “Family is cooperating with law enforcement and ask for people to respect their privacy. Mother not immediately prepared to go to Colorado. Ahooter was living in Denver attending college.”

  67. – Spokeman said police are securing the entire neighborhood “to preserve the peace”. Its a media madhouse.

  68. “130+ reporters, media, surround home, 2 dozen news mobile units, 4 news heliocopters.

  69. Can I just request that the next lunatic take his shooting rampage to a newsroom instead of a movie theater?

  70. Squid, what good will that do, especially if he goes for head shots?

  71. Well, there would be fewer people standing around getting in the way, and the ones who were standing around getting in the way would not have so many miles to drive to the scene.

    Just think of all the news vans parked in their garages, and all the CO2 that the newsies wouldn’t be putting into Gaia’s Breath.

  72. Wait, I thought you had to shoot zombies in the head.

  73. At least zombies go down when you shoot them in the head.

    Newsies, I don’t think so.

  74. Ob la di, ob la da, life goes on, bra, la la how the life goes on

  75. I would not be surprised if news rooms had armed guards protecting them. Guns for me, but not for thee, is a progressive motto.

  76. They’d make the guards stand in booths where you can’t see their guns. Because guns make newsies pee their panties.