July 9, 2012

The Lapsed Prude’s confession haiku, 2

During the summer

I ogle in good conscience.

Because, well, tube tops.


Posted by Jeff G. @ 10:20am

Comments (26)

  1. The first glance is just
    Recognition of God’s work;
    The second is sin.

  2. Or an honest (and fulfilling) intention, depending on whom the glance is cast. Hi honey!

  3. A picture is worth a thousand words. Especially if they are haiku.

  4. My favorite, though, is the gal who’s wearing a low cut and revealing blouse with a very light wrap. You work your butt off maintaining eye contact, and what does the gal inevitably do? She moves her hands and pulls her wrap to cover her breasts. Thereby making it almost impossible to maintain eye contact.

  5. She wanted respect.
    I respect your frontal lobes.
    She knew what I meant.

  6. Ladies: If you don’t want to be ogled, cast not your pearls before swine.

    Cover ’em up or deal with the consequences. I don’t care how hot it is.

  7. I’m like Bear Baloo
    Forget about those, they ain’t
    nothing but trouble

  8. The boys of summer

    Ogle the girls in tube tops

    Beach jam here we go

  9. Mostly that was a comment on moronic feminists who assert that, “I should be able to wear a raw cow leg around my neck while

    “• swimming in croc/shark-infested waters
    “• traversing the savannah near a pride of lions
    “• traipsing through a jungle full of tigers

    “without being attacked.”

    Of course you should, sweetie. You go right on ahead and test that assumption.

  10. And of course the men who glance at boobs, the men who stare at boobs, and the men who follow boobs around and try to drag them into an alley need not be distinguished from one another. All dangerous animal scum. Hit the wimp in the hope that the monster will feel it because the wimp probably won’t hit back. Wimps merely exists to absorb any anger generated by the monsters. And if the wimps don’t buy into this tell them that they are monsters even though they don’t do what the monsters do, and you’d NEVER call the monsters what they are to their face.

  11. – Women may be uncomfortable at times when men ogle them, but they would be manically distraught 24/7 if men ignored them.

  12. Sometimes I think the monsters are actually in charge and that everybody wants it that way. Roman Polanski was a monster. But Whoopi Goldberg who is supposedly a woman and on the side of all women, said it wasn’t rape rape and suggested he was a victim of demented Christian prudes and that he should be allowed to come back to the US and not worry about persecution. She also said that following the US Constitution was written would resurrect slavery. She’s rich and famous. She chose who she likes and who she doesn’t. She chose the monsters. She still punches the wimps any chance she gets. It really makes me wonder about how we even form a society together sometimes.

  13. But does she have a nice rack?

  14. – Society is built on boobies, not monsters.

  15. Tube tops top topping tubers.

    That is all.

  16. Two nice racks.

  17. My dictionary defines a rack as a tool for displaying a sweater to great advantage.

  18. Women may be uncomfortable at times when men ogle them, but they would be manically distraught 24/7 if men ignored them.

    When I first got to Colombia, I was incensed by the custom of echando piropos, wherein men mutter compliments (or otherwise) at women they pass on the street. I even stopped long enough to tell a couple of them to have some respect for women as soon as I had enough Spanish to do so.

    Months later, if I didn’t hear the piropos, I was tempted to stop and demand whether there were something wrong with how we looked.

    That said, I’m glad Latino men haven’t generalized this custom to anglo chicks in the U.S. It actually is pretty sexist, and not in a good way.

  19. You’re kidding, right? When I lived in California it was “Mama-cita! all the live long day.

  20. Johninfirestone, I think the answer to the question is, “Because they stare back at me.”

  21. Two words: Peripheral vision.


  22. It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye.

  23. Where’s pdbuttons? His haiku and avatar would be a perfect fit for this thread.