May 14, 2010

It’s Friday, Jeff. And considering how we’ve weathered a week of technical talk about signs and signifiers and such, we thought maybe –

— yeah, well, you thought wrong.

Seems having your shell “bedazzled” is not only surprisingly expensive, but it requires that you lie mostly still and belly down for a couple three hours even after leaving the salon.

So not only did I spend the better part of the evening spoonfeeding the bastard his DQ Butterfinger Blizzard, but I did it while watching red white and blue-colored rhinestones harden into an American flag with a peace sign for stars — all because the horny little fuck got it in his head that he simply must get into the sundress of some scrubbed-face Berkeley chick who just joined book club.

Which, right. Like she’s not a lesbian anyway.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 7:23pm
12 comments | Trackback

Comments (12)

  1. Note to self: avoid book clubs.

  2. She is not a lesbian. It is a pose design specifically to offend anyone who may or may not remind her of her father.

    I’m not saying she has ‘daddy issues’, but you can bet that she’s read ‘Fear of Flying’ by Erica Jong more than a few times.

    The armadillo knows what I’m talking about, even if you don’t.

    I’e been there so often it’s getting tedious.

  3. If she’s wearing a sundress he should have no trouble seeing her tattoo that reads, “STOP STARING AT MY TA-TAS!”

  4. Hey, if you’ve got him home and he’s lame, just spin the little bastard for us one time! Or twice.

    He owes us.

  5. The little dude needs to be smoked out.

    So. Twist and Shout.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wby00Xwr68I

  6. he simply must get into the sundress of some scrubbed-face Berkeley chick who just joined book club.

    If she’s ALF, he’s in like Flynn.

  7. And you owe me because the little armored dude was ordering pitchers and I had to pick up the tab – and I can’t find him after the fight where Lou ‘embedded’ a football player with the jukebox!

    Last time I go bar-hopping in a college town with an armadillo!

  8. With the heroic drug intake, I reckon the shelled one is a Girl Talk fan.

  9. Like she’s not a lesbian anyway.

    Yeah, but she’s probably in PETA, so she just lurves her some animal…..

  10. Like she’s not a lesbian anyway

    The sundress gives it away. Though she may be gender curious so the little guy may actually lucky since she’ll feel obligated to be species curious, too.

  11. Greetings:

    I worked as a printer in Berkeley, Calif. for several years. Never saw so many women trying so hard to make themselves unattractive.

  12. I worked as a printer in Berkeley, Calif. for several years. Never saw so many women trying so hard to make themselves unattractive.

    Womyn’s Studies majors.

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