I probably shouldn’t post this, but I ran into Nicole Eggert (who by the way is reading this over my shoulder right now), and she said, and I quote, “what the fuck is a fucking blog, dude?” So I explained it to her. And she goes, “Oh. Well how totally fucking gay is that?”
Of course, that was an hour ago. 3 shots of Goldschlager and a peach lambic later, she’s changed her tune. Now she says, “actually, blogs sound pretty cool, I guess.” Further, she tells me that when she worked with Scott Baio, he was this total freak who had maybe a thousand different Italian horns and five-hundred pairs of Top Siders—“all of which smelled like feet, because the guy never ever ever wore socks.” She also says I shouldn’t post this because she hears Baio Googles his own name “like, religiously.”
Oh well. Too late now, Nicole dear. CLICK!
– Judd
Comment by mojo on 12/30 @ 11:08 pm #
She “worked Scott Baio”?
I didn’t even know he had a handle…
Comment by Judd Nelson on 12/30 @ 11:15 pm #
Good catch mojo. I should proofread better, but when you’ve seen Blown Away 25 times and Nicole Eggert is sitting next to you so cute and pissed off because Scott Baio is going to be “so totally pissed” at her, your mind wanders a bit. Not that YOU’D know. Ha.
Plus, I’ve had like 8 lambics now. These monk cocktails are fucking killing me brother! (Is it brother? Whatever. You know what I mean).
Comment by Allah on 12/30 @ 11:29 pm #
I haven’t jacked off to a photo of Nicole in years.
Tonight, all that changes.
Comment by JWebb on 12/30 @ 11:33 pm #
I thought lambic was a poetry meter.
Comment by Jeff Goldstein on 12/30 @ 11:34 pm #
You got that “CLICK” thing from Treacher, didn’t you big guy?
Comment by Judd Nelson on 12/30 @ 11:39 pm #
Who?
Man, is Nicole telling me some shit about Corey Haim. And by the way, I think one of your readers chickened out. This guy kept walking by the table, taking quick little glances at us, be he was afraid to come over.
I almost shouted, “Leif Garrett rocks!” But then the waitress came over and Eggert ordered 6 tequila shooters and put it on my Amex. She must think I get royalties from those Hughes’ movies.
Comment by Jonathan on 12/30 @ 11:40 pm #
I think that’s actually “colonic.” I distinctly remember “colonic pentameter,” either from A.P. English or Cristina’s all-you-can-eat burrito buffet.
Comment by JWebb on 12/30 @ 11:56 pm #
A friend told me you must be thinking of “colonic for pent-up meat-eaters. And with friends like that, who needs enemas?
Comment by Rightwingsparkle on 12/31 @ 12:05 am #
ALLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment by Joe on 12/31 @ 12:43 am #
Was that an orgasm, Sparkle ? And by merely blogging, no less – Judd, I am impressed, buddy.
Comment by Darleen on 12/31 @ 12:45 am #
“CLICK!”
Someone call me?
Comment by Darleen on 12/31 @ 12:49 am #
Joe
Orgasms are a very religious experience
what with all the praying to, or praising of, God and all….
Comment by Rightwingsparkle on 12/31 @ 1:39 am #
Oh Joe…you and your fantasies.
I can guarentee you Judd would never do that for me.
Comment by Mike on 12/31 @ 3:56 am #
Judd got some hot young blonde actress all boozed up, so I’m assuming we’re going to see some photo-bloging soon.
Any time now.
Furthermore, you must be rich from royalties of “The Breakfast Club”, because that thing is on TNT five fucking times a day.
Comment by Rightwingsparkle on 12/31 @ 5:49 pm #
For yall who stop by today, come to my site for some rarely posted photos which will be deleted tomorrow. Happy New Years everyone!
Comment by Ana on 12/31 @ 6:09 pm #
Allah. Dude. That was your outside voice. Remember? If you’re typing or if you actually hear your own voice, then other people will know what’s going on in that brain of yours.
Comment by Jonathan on 12/31 @ 11:48 pm #
JWebb: your friend may be right. The sound, in either case, is the same.
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