January 30, 2012

a post that explores what life would be like if oatmeal could speak, 19

oatmeal: “I mean, hell. Even I think Romney is an unprincipled milquetoast bore, and I’m freakin’ oatmeal, for Chrissakes.”

Posted by Jeff G. @ 6:26pm
40 comments | Trackback

Comments (40)

  1. Now I can’t decide whether to write in the syphilitic camel or oatmeal.

  2. It’s probably the high fiber thing that makes you so discerning.

  3. Cinnamon and Brown Sugar or Raisins and Spice?

    It makes a difference.

  4. Why does it not surprise me that a bowl of oatmeal has more personality than Mitt Romney?

  5. wow, when did oatmeal become one of those extremist nazi tea-party types?

    I mean, why does oatmeal want to drive the one nominee that will appeal to Independents(tm) and Moderates(tm) out of the party? What has oatmeal got against reaching across the aisle and compromise in order to Get Things Done?

    Where is oatmeal’s commitment to the Big Tent????

  6. The oatmeal speaks the bland truth

  7. Perfect Storm against liberal policies of national suicide and we put up roughage.

  8. Oatmeal is my morning friend. Not too bad with brown sugar and vanilla whey.

  9. Of course, we need to determine whether Mitt is “unprincipled” (immoral) or “sans principles” (unmoored). I reckon it’s more the latter than the former.

  10. Di, how long do you think it will be before the Mormon-bashng begins in earnest?

  11. this was the latest mormon-bashing tear the National Soros Radio media has venture

  12. I heard yakking about baptising the dead yesterday. Apparently the wife’s dad was an atheist and they baptised him Mormon after he died, but I forget where I heard it.

  13. Cinnamon and Brown Sugar or Raisins and Spice?

    More like Tea flavored irrational extremist, Di…

    At least, that’s what the MBM and the establicans are saying.

  14. Establicans = Rockefeller Rethugs! in old skool lexicon.

    But I think you already know this :)

  15. But, what would the waffle have to say?

  16. “…Not too bad with brown sugar and vanilla whey.”

    some bananas, a little caramel, and some ice cream. Then we’ll have ourselves something to talk about;)

  17. Di, how long do you think it will be before the Mormon-bashng begins in earnest?

    How long before Mitt becomes The GOP Candidate fer shur?

  18. Ice cream and oatmeal?

  19. Quakers, oats, Pennsylvania. Do I have to spell it out!!!!!!

  20. SurveyUSA remarks that cell-phone only voters are 5 times more likely to vote for Ron Paul than land-line voters in Florida. If you look at the table you can also see that cell-phone only voters are 7 times more likely not to remember who they voted for.

  21. So Luap Nor gets the no-info voters?

  22. Apparently the wife’s dad was an atheist and they baptized him Mormon after he died, but I forget where I heard it.

    Mitt’s father-in-law was atheist? Then it’s entirely possible (99% likelihood) that Mrs. Romney requested a proxy baptism on his behalf.

    So here’s the LDS doctrine on Baptism for the Dead, for them what don’t know:

    Christ said that baptism is necessary to return to God (John 3:5):

    Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God.

    However, most of the people born onto this planet never hear of Christ nor of baptism. Are they just screwed by the accident of their birth? Or is there a Plan B for them?

    The dead apparently can have the gospel preached to them, something that Christ initiated during the three days he was dead, as predicted in John 5:25.

    Verily, verily, I say unto you, The hour is coming, and now is, when the dead shall hear the voice of the Son of God: and they that hear shall live.

    1 Peter 3:

    18 For Christ also hath once suffered for sins, the just for the unjust, that he might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh, but quickened by the Spirit:

    19 By which also he went and preached unto the spirits in prison;

    1 Peter 4:

    6 For for this cause was the gospel preached also to them that are dead, that they might be judged according to men in the flesh, but live according to God in the spirit.

    In 1 Corinthians 15, Paul explains that baptism for the dead is evidence of the centrality of the resurrection to Christian doctrine (because apparently some were denying the resurrection):

    12 Now if Christ be preached that he rose from the dead, how say some among you that there is no resurrection of the dead?

    13 But if there be no resurrection of the dead, then is Christ not risen:

    14 And if Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and your faith is also vain.

    29 Else what shall they do which are baptized for the dead, if the dead rise not at all? why are they then baptized for the dead?

    One of the primary reasons for our building temples is to perform proxy baptisms for the dead. In other words, mortals are baptized on behalf of someone who has died, and that dead person, on the other side of the veil, can decide whether to accept the baptism or to stand pat. Those who would have accepted baptism in life, had they the opportunity, will also accept it beyond the veil, but those who wouldn’t have, won’t. This is God’s Plan B for those who were born without the opportunity to hear of Christ or to accept baptism.

    Nobody is being “converted” by force, whether on this side of the veil or that, so it’s not quite accurate to say that they’re “baptized Mormon.” We have no way of knowing who accepts his or her proxy baptism. All we do is put a check by their name to say that a proxy baptism was performed on their behalf, but they are not counted as members of the church. OTOH, someone who is dead but who was baptized in life would be counted as a member. (Not to mention that the LDS Church is an institution for this life, not the next.)

    There’s no reason to argue whether our doctrine of baptism for the dead is valid or crazy: I’m just explaining what we’re doing and why, for the sake of accuracy.

  23. Or do people on cell phones being polled suddenly get paranoid? Not that we’re listening. All the time.

  24. The waffles are undecided.

  25. If Romney’s oatmeal, what does that make Gingrich? I’d say runny eggs. None of these candidates are bacon, unfortunately.

  26. A large percentage of the Mormons I lived amongst years ago were solid Conservatives, seemingly more so than many of the Baptists and Catholics I’ve known personally. Mitt doesn’t strike me as a typical Mormon, at least not of the strong-cloth sort. I’m thinking he’s a ‘caffeinated’ Mormon.

  27. sounds like the LDS owes me a cupcake can I get an amen

  28. Gingrich is burnt bacon rind, overcooked and crumbly. But I’m still gonna occupy a voting booth(s) (the physical act of voting, as bought and paid for by my betters, is too necessary an act to blow off by sitting at home). I will write-in the correct choice as I know it.

  29. I’m thinking he’s a ‘caffeinated’ Mormon.

    The term, I believe, is “Jack Mormon” … like my paternal grandmother who smoked, drank coffee and hid the booze when the elders visited.

    (loved that woman, talked like Dody Goodman – if Dody had been crossed with a pitbull)

  30. I prefer my oatmeal stout.

    (Kudos to Golem. Well played!)

  31. Di, how long do you think it will be before the Mormon-bashng begins in earnest?

    Lordy, you should see the Catholic bashing going on over the bishops’ letters. And that’s on conservative sites, from supposed conservatives!

  32. We have no way of knowing who accepts his or her proxy baptism. All we do is put a check by their name to say that a proxy baptism was performed on their behalf…

    Seems rather like the Catholic practice of praying for the recently deceased.

  33. Thanks, Squid. Mmmm, Kudos

  34. Well this is not exactly oatmeal… http://evilbloggerlady.blogspot.com/2012/01/george-soros-not-much-difference.html Okay, maybe Soros is stiring up trouble, but all the more reason this should go all the way to the convention.

  35. Why so . . . cereal?

  36. Seems rather like the Catholic practice of praying for the recently deceased.

    Offering Masses for the dead?

    All Souls Day reminds us of our union with the faithful departed — a union that cannot be broken even by death. Let us never fail to pray for our dearly departed.

    Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord.

    And may perpetual light shine upon them.

    May they rest in peace. Amen.

    link

  37. Somehow, I think it far more likely that the next couple of generations will be spitting on graves, rather than lighting candles.

  38. Mitt doesn’t strike me as a typical Mormon, at least not of the strong-cloth sort. I’m thinking he’s a ‘caffeinated’ Mormon.

    That’s more true of Huntsman Jr. than of Mitt. Mitt appears to be as Mormon as it gets. Why he governs as a moderate might be a very bad case of Mormon Anxiety Syndrome. He was raised outside the Mormon Corridor (Idaho, Utah, Arizona), so he’s used to ingratiating himself to the non-Mormons around him to prove that he’s not as icky as they might think.

    MAS would also explain why he comes off as phony: he’s trying so hard to not tarnish the LDS brand that he ends up being utterly anodyne and utterly bland.

    Sen. Mike Lee is more of a typical Mormon politically, what with the Constitutional staunchness and all.

  39. “Ice cream and oatmeal?”

    I’d make cookies with the oatmeal.

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