September 27, 2011

Daily Herman Cain factoid that few people yet know

In 1977, Herman Cain challenged Sly Stone to a funk contest and easily out-funked him.

When a chastened and humiliated Stone tried to follow-up his defeat with a right cross to the newly-annointed funkmaster’s chin, Herman Cain caught the musician’s fist in his large, forgiving hands and turned it into a bouquet of daisies.

Then he went home and had sex with Olivia Newton-John.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 9:53am

Comments (17)

  1. Sly never recovered. Poor guy.

    I expect the next time the media acknowledge Cain’s existence will be when they castigate him for bringing a great man low.

  2. Some indecent wag is spreading the rumor that Herman Cain has a secret loathing of Italians and Italian culture.

  3. Herman Cain is not a secret Muslim. He’s actually Mohammed in blackface.

  4. With Cain’s straw poll win, can we expect more attacks on him from the MBM? The magic 8-ball says, “Yes.”

  5. They’re already out there drumming up a secret love child to parade around the morning news programs. They’ll insist that it’s atonement for their Edwards/Hunter (non-)performance, and proves that they’re back on the job, better than ever!

  6. Herman Cain is blacker than John Shaft multiplied by Jackie Brown, then dipped in Mace Windu. He IS the B.M.F.

  7. Herman Cain can speak in front of tea party groups and through sheer force of will make them forget they’re deeply racist.

  8. And it is easy enough for me to explain. They voted for Herman Cain because he is not running against Barack Obama so much as he is running for an America he believes in and that other people can get excited about. People love Herman Cain’s optimism. They love his vision. They love his 9-9-9 plan.

    The last is key. Herman has an articulated, easy to remember plan for economic recovery in his 9-9-9 plan. Quick! What is Mitt Romney’s plan? Jon Huntsman’s? Rick Perry’s? Michele Bachmann’s? They all, more or less, have them, but they are not readily memorable or easy to understand.

    Herman Cain is consistently conservative, he is running for something, not against someone, and he is the most optimistic candidate on stage.

    In addition to learning a lot from Paul Begala, I’ve learned a lot from James Carville. Carville has an easy to understand rule we’re seeing playing out right now. The most optimistic candidate wins.


  9. Herman Cain catches beltway pols and feeds them to the Tea Party!

  10. via’s Political Diary__September 27, 2011?

    The Cain Mutiny
    The pundits busy divining the reasons Herman Cain won that Florida straw poll so handily can’t be blamed — it was a compelling spectacle and a distinctly satisfying one as straw poll results go. To have listened to the candidate’s prescriptions in his speech to the delegates Saturday was to see why. Everything he told the audience had been said, in one way or another, by most of the leading Republican candidates. The difference here was — is — Mr. Cain’s unfailing capacity to speak as though from a core of fire deep inside him. An irresistible strength — as is the mordant humor he brings to the battle.

    So it happens that he can deliver a steely jibe about defense cuts (“You don’t put a bulls-eye on the backs of our men and women in uniform”) or the way America’s wars must be fought (“the mission is victory . . . If we are not in it to win it, we will not be in it”) and make audiences feel they’d never heard anything so bracing.

    This is no small achievement. And it’s why the conventional explanation of the straw poll results — that it was all about the Republicans’ dissatisfaction with the current crop of candidates — seems inadequate. It would be far closer to the truth to say that those straw poll delegates were responding to a voice whose fire had touched them, warmed them, spoken for them.

    An early response to the Florida poll results came from a friend, historian Alan C. Kors, who observed in mock puzzlement: “So, the ‘Tea Party racists’ in a Republican straw poll chose the self-made black Herman Cain — mathematician and successful businessman — son of a cleaning woman and a janitor, as their choice of nominee for the presidency of the United States. Well! What a bigoted group, what a caste society!”

    It’s an observation whose point wouldn’t be lost on Herman Cain.

    — Dorothy Rabinowitz

  11. So, you’re saying, basically, that Herman Cain is the black Chuck Norris excuse me, that Chuck Norris is the white Herman Cain?

  12. When Chuck Norris jumps in a pool, water gets Herman Cain’d.

  13. All I’m sayin’, Yackums, is that if Herman Cain was playin’ dozens with Barack Obama, Pres. Zero would be cryin’ inside of a minute.

  14. Herman Cain: ‘Messing with Israel Means Messing with the US

  15. Yeah, but Herman Cain does all his own stunts…