August 31, 2004
A protein wisdom exclusive! 9 lines / phrases cut from the final draft of tonight’s Arnold Schwarzenegger address to the RNC
  1. “[...] unlike John Kerry, who couldn’t lift one of Michael Moore’s man boobies.”
  2. “Am I the only one who thinks John Edwards looks like a woman?”
  3. “Then Nancy Pelosi got drunk and tried to grab my enormous package.”
  4. “How about those Bush twins in their little party dresses, eh?  Does anybody else have a chubby?”
  5. “And then there’s Cruz Bustamante, who I pounded into paper and used to wipe my ass.”
  6. “Because were Teresa my wife I would have given her a smack a long time ago.  But then, I’m not a Massachusetts pussy, either.”
  7. “I pick scabs with bigger balls than Terry Mcauliffe’s.”
  8. “[...] or as Adolph Hitler might say, ’mein kampf.’”
  9. “I’ll be back.” “Hasta la vista, baby.”

18 Comments  :::   Post a comment »

  1. Comment by erp on 8/31 @ 11:06 pm #

    Cut Arnold some slack.  Just because he has a German accent, doesn’t mean he’s a Nazi.  I think he’ll deliver California for Bush.  For that I can forgive a lot.  Just like I forgive McCain for past sins because he delivered last night and he’s softening up the despicable media by wining and dining them.

  2. Comment by Jeff Goldstein on 8/31 @ 11:09 pm #

    I don’t think he’s a Nazi.  I was poking fun at his occasional use of Hitler as a rhetorical example.

  3. Comment by Silicon Valley Jim on 8/31 @ 11:12 pm #

    I’m really hoping he’ll use the phrase “girly man” or “girly men”.

  4. Comment by Chrees on 8/31 @ 11:14 pm #

    A Total Recall challenge to John Edwards that was pulled: “Sue me, dickhead”

    While he didn’t say it, I still think it holds true…

    “There are lots of things worse than movies: politicians, wars, forest fires, famine, plague, sickness, pain, whores, politicians…”

    “You already mentioned them.”

    “I know I did. They are twice as bad as anything else.”

  5. Comment by Mark on 8/31 @ 11:35 pm #

    It’s an Austrian accent!  Not a German accent.

  6. Comment by norbizness on 9/1 @ 12:29 am #

    You’re a funny teleprompter. That’s why I read you last.

  7. Comment by Beck on 9/1 @ 4:23 am #

    If Schwarzenegger delivers California, I’ll eat John Kerry’s Vietnam era lucky hat.

  8. Comment by Nordicgirl on 9/1 @ 4:26 am #

    Make sure you sear it first.

  9. Comment by Attila Girl on 9/1 @ 6:47 am #

    The chances are low. We’d need everyone in LA and SF–and possibly Sacramento, and certainly Berkeley–to be hung over on the same day. Or two well-placed earthquakes.

    I’d hate to see undercover GOP operatives slipping the date rate drug into the drinks of their liberal friends the day before the election, and then locking them into their bathrooms for 24 hours.

    That would be bad.

  10. Comment by erp on 9/1 @ 1:22 pm #

    Becky—You won’t be able to eat Kerry’s Vietnam era lucky hat because it doesn’t exist, but perhaps you can eat one of Bush’s Stetson’s instead.  I’m sure he’ll be glad to send you one as a gesture of brotherhood and it’ll be a lot cleaner.

  11. Comment by McGehee on 9/1 @ 7:20 pm #

    Just run this on all California TV stations, and Bush wins.

  12. Comment by Steve Skubinna on 9/4 @ 8:48 pm #

    In re: 1, they call them “bitch tits.” Seriously.

    I mean, weightlifters call them that.  In that trade they are a side effect of steroid overuse.  Check out some of the bodybuilding magazines, there will be ads in the back by cosmetic surgeons who remove them.

    Not that I’m accusing MM of using steroids.  Unless carbs count.

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