September 1, 2004

protein wisdom’s Republican National Convention coverage, 11

New Yorker Hotel “Compassionate Conservatism” after party, dwarf tossing results (semi-final round)Arnold Schwarzenegger, 26’7”; protein wisdom, 22’11”; Jenna Bush, 20’1”, Monica Crowley, 16’8”; Sean Hannity, 16’4”; Susan Estrich, 8’2”; Alan Colmes [disqualified for hugging the dwarf and trying to get him to refer to himself as “a little person"]; Barbara Bush [no show—reportedly doing upside down margaritas with a couple of delegates from New Mexico]

Posted by Jeff G. @ 4:18am
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Comments (9)

  1. Al Franken: tossed for an aggregate 102’ 7”.

  2. Well, you’ld expect Schwarzenegger to win.  I’m surprised Hannity didn’t do better.  He looks like he should be good at it.

    Jay

  3. You seriously expect me to believe You could out-toss Jenna?  I mean… Have you seen the woman’s arms???

  4. How grossly pollitically incorrect of you…”dwarf” is no longer the prefered nomenclature.

    From now on they should be refered to as “aerodynamically gifted people of size”.

  5. “Aerodynamically gifted people of size”

    Good thing i’d already swallowed my tea before i read that.  And Barbara was with Barbara th elder doing kegstands at the time.  Barbara the elder had a total of 63 seconds with Barbara the younger at only 61.

  6. Aerodynamically gifted?  I disagree.  The vertically challenged of us have approximately the same ballistic coefficient as, say, me.  Besides, at those speeds velocity and flight path angle are much more critical than aerodynamics.  IOW, you’d get approximately the same results dwarf-tossing in a vacuum.  Which, for the record, I don’t recommend without the employment of at least two pressure suits.

  7. Your training as a journalist has really failed you this time, Jeff.  That was Mark Follman, not Alan Colmes, negotiating with the vertically challenged little fella.  I demand a set rec.

  8. Please, please, please tell me the dwarf was Robert Reich.

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