March 28, 2011

a haiku that, for no reason whatever, imagines Barack Obama as a complex man of exceptional rhetorical nuance

“Let me be clear,” he
always begins. Then he lies
like a rug made from dead whores.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 3:44pm

Comments (38)

  1. With, “make no mistake,”
    he always compounds the lie
    with disinterest.

  2. “As I’ve always said”
    This could be a little clue
    That he never has

  3. “As I said before,”
    he asserts, as he again
    contradicts himself.

  4. Mine needs more whores in it or something

  5. I think comparing,

    Obama’s lies to hookers

    is mean to dead whores.

  6. let me perfect
    -ly clear he said with a wink
    come on guys, waffles…

  7. Oops

    let me be perfect…


    I like this guy. Here are some more haikus (although I am not following the proper 5, 7, and 5 form):

    The role of Muslims in America,
    Is to practice their faith in peace,
    and to leave the rest of us alone.

    Political correctness,
    I does not care,
    I feel the way I feel.

    Some conservatives are going wobbly on Cain (see comments).

  9. joe

    check out petey wehner’s cain vapors

  10. Why does one line have more syllables? THAT’S NOT FAIR!

  11. I once wrote a piece of software for my department (well, a spreadsheet with numerous built-in Visual Basic macros) with all of the error messages written as haikus.

    No one noticed.

  12. He said he brought hope
    And change we could believe in
    It was a long fall

  13. At some point, you have enough syllables.

  14. joe i saw that earlier. i wish these folks would become dems so they can spend all their time chastising the proggs.

  15. crawled out of the bed
    thinking I’d watch Libya speech
    screw it, never mind.

  16. patton and monty
    rolled africa in 6 month
    baracky babbled

  17. I do not do the
    Haiku that you do so well
    meter is teh hard

  18. Spring was in the air
    And I had to ask myself
    What is my tee time

  19. please, no war for oil
    or western hegemony
    ah, those were the days

  20. re: full disclosure.
    i am the blog editor
    of penguin thinker.

  21. Public service announcement: Velociman is blogging again. Life can’t be all bad.

    Also useful: Stuff Academics Like, with their “guess the fake title” game (impossible to win).

    Most recent entry: The Journal of Universal Rejection. Submit a paper—any paper—and it’s guaranteed to be rejected. Hora Incerta Reprobatio Certa.

  22. and that other blog’s
    editor closing comments
    discloses plenty.

  23. I like it when they shut up.

    Also, “editor’s.”

  24. no, they were not his
    closing comments, it was his
    closing the comments.

  25. Deja-haiku:

    do you remember
    when we went to Iraq?
    nineteen ninety-one

  26. Hey guess what Y’all
    President Obama says
    NATO is our pimp

  27. george soros amer-

    ica sucks big time losers

    get used to it now

  28. #27 There’s whores in there somewhere. Probably even some dead ones.

  29. “joe i saw that earlier. i wish these folks would become dems so they can spend all their time chastising the proggs.”

    Point Newrouter
    Well played sir

    (Hey, I calls em like I sees em;)

  30. muni

    re: full disclosure.
    i am a fugitive from
    a chain ga-ee-ang.

  31. JEFF,i AM SORRY. about my post – wherevr. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzaszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzi said bhrfotre. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzdo not hit bsckspace1

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    Jeff – i hza

  32. yun
    I am truly orry. bnut “backspace” pub luishesbwithout consent/\. I actualloy thouht uihy thi nwas funny unil UI realized hisw seriou thisd whole boel of bullhity iy/Wnhoo! Whoo!

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  33. Which will show up first,
    long form birth certificate
    or C&D proof?

  34. This am my favorite haiku of all time.

  35. The United States
    has done what we said we would
    Mission accomplished!

  36. expect to not hear
    pitter-patters of either

  37. “It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm of pish, and crawls insanely up to the topmost pinnacle of posh. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.”
    — Mencken on Warren G. Harding’s Inaugural speech