July 8, 2004

Scenes from my driveway, continued x 26

Deadbeat neighbor: “You know what I like a lot…? Dirt.”

Me: “Beg your pardon?”

Deadbeat neighbor: “Yeah, for whatever reason I really like it. Don’t know if it’s the texture or the smell or what, but I do. Especially when I’m barefoot.”

Me: “Did you say you liked dirt?”

Deadbeat neighbor: “Dirt, yeah. Like earth. Which I realize is not everybody’s bag…”

Me: “Yeah, I’m extraordinarily ambivalent about dirt myself.”

Posted by Jeff G. @ 5:04pm
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Comments (10)

  1. You just have to know how to prepare it.

  2. Myself, I am vehemently ambivalent towards dirt, and I scorn all who do not share my passionate inidfference.

  3. Because dirt is, like, planet bunting or something.

  4. Your neighbor’s first name isn’t Joe, by chance?

  5. Anti-dirtite.

  6. I like sand myself, but only when there’s no crawdad – and crawdad, but only when there’s no fowl.

  7. Steve S:  ambivalence and indifference are antonyms, not synonyms.  I’m just saying …

  8. http://www.sensia.com/demeter.htm

    item# 10081

    price: $16.95

    “DIRT— Natural subtle scent for you. In the morning, after showering or exercise. Atmosphere Cologne can also be used in your rooms, scenting sheets before you sleep. Available in a 1 oz. spray bottle.”

    In case the deadbeat neighbor has, like, a wife or something.  Because I know I always like to spritz myself with a nice dirt scent after showering.

  9. It’s soil.  Not dirt.  Stoopid deadbeat neighbor. Dirt is something that you sweep off the kitchen floor, scrape off your shoes, or wash off your car.  Soil is a complex composition of inorganic and organic material and living organisms in which plants grow.  Good stuff.

  10. Rusty – whaddaya want, consistency?

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