July 8, 2004

A Poem from 1968, Revised by the Ghost of Richard Brautigan, 2004 (eighteenth in a series)

Karma Repair Kit: Items 1 – [5]

1. Get enough food to eat,
        and eat it.

2. Find a place to sleep where it is quiet,
        and sleep there.

3. Reduce intellectual and emotional noise
     until you arrive at the silence of yourself
        and listen to it.

[4. Remember: while Michael Moore does have lots and
      lots of money, he still has to walk around spending it in that
        horrific, bloated, dimple-skinned meatsack of his.]*


Posted by Jeff G. @ 6:49pm

Comments (14)

  1. I found an Instant Karma repair kit with only two easy steps:

    Step 1: Send an Instant Karma to me,

    Step 2: Initial it with loving care.

    Helpful hint: It worked better for me when I didn’t surround myself with myself.

  2. Add den Beste to Lileks for an impressive tag-team

  3. And of course #4 applies equally well, mutatis mutandis, to that bile-drenched chancre in human form, Rall. Being Ted is punishment enough for the little snot-sack. Which isn’t to say, of course, that if he got shingles I wouldn’t be falling on the floor laughing.

  4. Anyone much under the age of 40 isn’t going to get that, allintern.

    Which, come to think of it, is part of its charm.

  5. Slartibartfast, it breaks my aging heart to think what I considered a hip, inside post actually bordered on doddering.

    Would you suggest that I “move on back two squares” and try again?

    Shit, I just realized saying “hip” isn’t.  Sigh…

  6. I actually looked the damn thing up, allintern, and you deliberately ignored the steps:

    3)Move me on to any black square. (clearly a checkers allegory)

    4)Use me any time you want.

    and your helpful hint is actually the step:

    5)Don’t surround yourself with yourself.

    followed by:

    6)Move on back two squares.

    Then you get to the instant karma stuff. And the helpful hint is: don’t let your news be captured, for the queen to use. didit didit didit didit didit didit didit didda.

    So you see, Jeff’s 5 step method is actually 1 step quicker than your Instant Karma – why, it must be Extreme Karma !

  7. You’re right, Joe; except I think it was chess.  I was only doing Instant Karma periodic maintenance and not actual repair.

    I keep hoping for “Talking back to the 70s” posts but they never come.  When I talked to my old LPs, they actually did talk back.  Scared the hell out of me once the buzz wore off.

    “Well we all shine on, Like the moon and the stars and the sun”

  8. Yes, obviously chess from the later queen reference, but also a checkerboard. So I win the obscure reference contest, but as a consolation prize you may select any protien wisdom post for gilding. Which is a lot better than what I get, which is, frankly, nothing – Jeff’s kinda cheap with the prizes, as you well know.

  9. Well played, Joe.  I’ll keep rubbing my lava lamp and wishing for a “Talking Back to the 70s” post from Mr. G…

    Sadly, very few LPs left and none of them have talked to me in years…

  10. …and here I was thinking that some liberal propaganda group had made an announcement that they would never deign to consider the political views of flyover-state voters.

    (Headline: Moveon back to squares…)

  11. Quite frankly both of you, allintem and Slartibartfast, should be ashamed of yourselves for laughing in the face of love like that. Who the hell do you guys think you are: superstars or something?

  12. I was only laughing in the face of being in my forties, David.  More of an fakey hollow-sounding chuckle, really.

    And Chrees, I’d take den Beste/Lileks over Moore/Rall in a cage match anytime.  As long as eating your opponents is “off the table”.

  13. I played one of my 70s elpees backwards one time.  The hidden message said, “Hey!  That can’t be good for your needle!”