March 3, 2011

Short term plans

So. I’ve been looking around for a fair-sized slice of the American money pie, and it turns out it’s been crudely Saran-wrapped and tucked away in one of several overstuffed dessert freezers in this fat fuck’s Manhattan apartment. Probably has a bunch more of my pie squirreled away at his Michigan beach house, too.

Time to eat,* I say.

ROAD TRIP!

Posted by Jeff G. @ 11:38am
60 comments | Trackback

Comments (60)

  1. I would punch him very, very hard in at least three of his five chins.

  2. Mikey the Hutt, America’s biggest hypocrite.

  3. He’s such a fucking idiot. We’re not broke. Finite cash, held in the greedy hands of a few people.

    I can’t believe that fat fuck has achieved any level of success. Commie. Straight up.

  4. Well, if cars could run on smegma, Moore would be a walking Saudi Arabia.

  5. Why haven’t I gotten my cut from Farenheit 9/11? Fucker…

  6. I can’t stand that sanctimonious hypocrite! I did have the pleasure of flipping him off at a Pistons game about 10 years ago though.

  7. Here’s a joke. How did Michael Moore survive for 30 days in the deserts of Dune?

    There are few things even the Sandworms won’t swallow.

  8. Hey, if the esteemed Mr Moore believes that all money is “our” money, maybe I should send him my fuel oil bill, so he can pay it with our money.

    Of course, if he believes that our taxes are too low, the Treasury Department has an easy website where he can voluntarily pay more.

  9. 5. A fine scotch posted on 3/3 @ 11:54 am
    Why haven’t I gotten my cut from Farenheit 9/11? Fucker…

    Because, apparently, his cut from Fahrenheit 911 wasn’t big enough, if you believe the court briefs.

    Equality isn’t equal, fellow piggy.

  10. Rendered down at the correct temperature, Mikey could provide heating oil for a family of four for a month. Time to be of use to society, Mikey.

  11. Micheal Moore should be the top five google search results for “useful idiot”.

  12. Actually, he has a point if you look at the fact that profits are up, worker productivity is up and wages are down. Average Americans are working harder but aren’t seeing it in their paychecks. They’re producing more wealth but they aren’t getting any of it.

    Meanwhile, all you guys can do is bitch about The Kenyan Usurper (A corporate shill himself who hasn’t even raised taxes yet) pillaging the oppressed John Galts of Wall Street. Apparently he hurts their feelings by saying mean things about “fat cats.” The poor dears!!!

  13. LOL HE’S FAT LOL

  14. Yeah, AJB, let’s try exactly the same thing that has failed every time and expect different results.

    Moron.

  15. Give me your money now, fool. Come on, chop chop.

  16. I believe AJB just hinted that he is really fat too.

    Low carbs dude. It works.

  17. You claiming Obarky hasn’t raised taxes, AJB?

  18. Its not that he’s saying mean things you dolt, its that he is advocating theft and usurption of private property. That a fucking slob that has benefited from a system would call for the the very tenets that underly his success makes him a true idiot and a danger to freedom of capital and labor.

    Getting into the details is not worth it for a hit and run mental midget like you.

  19. “Average Americans are working harder but aren’t seeing it in their paychecks. “

    Think there might be any connection between that, and $1.6 trillion budget deficits?

    Just think how our young are going to fare.

  20. Average Americans are working harder but aren’t seeing it in their paychecks.

    Maybe they’re working too hard at being average. Definition of insanity and all that.

  21. Remember when monkyboy used to torment us with Bush and his $500 billion deficits, and we’d stand there red faced, scuffing our toe in the dirt and saying hopefully, “yeah, that sucks, but it’s coming back down!”?

    Ahh, those were the days…

  22. Al,

    I don’t have to work at being average, nor am I ashamed by it. Wait, are you saying the average man is insane?

    Could be onto something there…

  23. LOL AJB’s a fucking moron LOL

  24. And even the Obama true believers I work with know their taxes (federal) have gone up. What kind of idiot do you have to be to believe otherwise? An AJB kind, I guess.

  25. Rendered down at the correct temperature, Mikey could provide heating oil for a family of four for a month. Time to be of use to society, Mikey.

    And here I am, using the Kindle app on my iToy, reading Moby Dick. Coincidence?

  26. Actually, he has a point

    No, not very likely. Everything is kinda soft and round.

    {O.O}

  27. AJB – were you diddling your pet goat when you typed that idiocy?

  28. AJB — isn’t that a brand-name? Like for 100% natural concentrated STUPID…?

  29. And here I am, using the Kindle app on my iToy, reading Moby Dick. Coincidence?

    Mikey could well be full of spermaceti, McGehee. It would explain a lot.

  30. Average Americans are working harder but aren’t seeing it in their paychecks. They’re producing more wealth but they aren’t getting any of it.

    If only we could find a reason why this is so. Let’s see, could it be that we’re more and more servicing our soaring debt? No, that can’t be it.

    Oh yes, I have it: the Koch brothers are hiding it all under their super lavish mattresses, then at night they get naked but for spats, monocles, and top hats, and they roll around in the national resources they’ve STOLEN FROM YOU!

    Dick.

  31. LOL HE’S FAT LOL

    I know, right?

    I mean, for a communist, he sure seems to be taking in more than his fair share of the fried chicken bucket.

  32. To each according to their need, Jeff. And Mikey’s needs are titanic.

  33. AJB — isn’t that a brand-name? Like for 100% natural concentrated STUPID…?

    Another Juice Box full of…(see above)

  34. Oh yes, I have it: the Koch brothers are hiding it all under their super lavish mattresses, then at night they get naked but for spats, monocles, and top hats, and they roll around in the national resources they’ve STOLEN FROM YOU!

    Are we supposed to get aroused thinking of that?

    It reminds me of Indecent Proposal. Only without Demi Moore*.

    *The Other Moore.


  35. Contentions
    Michael Moore vs. Abraham Lincoln

  36. think of mickey as a large living carbon sequestration unit algore™ approved

  37. “You must admit I have a point.”
    “Indeed, it must be difficult to find a hat that fits it properly!”
    — Zorro, The Gay Blade

  38. ‘These goggles they do nothing’ thanks for that.

  39. In a time of 10% unemployment (almost 20% if we’re honest), AJB thinks that paychecks should go up.

    If AJB had a job, he’d realize that he’s not got any standing to demand more money, when there are six people sitting in HR offering to do it for 20% less. If AJB were really skilled and in demand, he might have some leverage to work with, but let’s face it — we’re talking about AJB here. It’s not as though Uncle George can’t find another chimp to troll PW for tree fiddy a day.

  40. Sure, I think I deserve more money, but I’ll be happy to keep my job.

  41. This site used to be so different. Go back and look at all the Michael Moore stuff from 2004-5. Posts like this:

    Minimalism

    Q: What do you get when you cross Michael Moore and a one-legged monkey?

    A: Fuck Michael Moore.

  42. AJB, Michael Moore is an overly well fed multi-millionaire who presumes to lecture the rich about money and who it belongs too.

    Last I looked, Michael Moore is rich by ordinary standards. I don’t see the obnoxious fat fuck giving up all his wealth and joining the proletariat.

    Does this mean that you, AJB, are giving obnoxious fat fuck Michael Moore a pass on the blatant hypocrisy because he belongs to the right side?

  43. It’s too bad that it is someone with zero credibility that articulates what all the statists actually believe.

  44. Lead the way, Mikey! Give your “natural resources” to the poor!

  45. I couldn’t believe the number of people who were swayed by his first movie. We were forced to watch it in class for some reason. It was ridiculous.
    You mean that GM cares more about profits than making the union happy. Those bastards! I’m investing in a company that doesn’t care at all for profits. That will show the “man” how cool I am.

  46. What’s the difference between Michael Moore and an elephant?
    About 50 pounds.

    What happened when Michael Moore went to the beach?
    People kept trying to push him back into the water.

    What happened when Michael Moore went to the zoo?
    People kept throwing him peanuts.

    What happened when Michael Moore went to the circus?
    People kept trying to get him to stand up and turn on a platform.

    What happened when Michael Moore went to a Thanksgiving Day parade?
    People kept trying to tie towropes to him.

    What happened when Michael Moore was floating in the ocean?
    Spain claimed him for the new world.

    When happened when Michael Moore was born?
    They smashed a bottle of champagne against his side.

    When Michael Moore was in school, what did he use to carry his lunch money?
    An armored car.

    Why doesn’t Michael Moore drive on freeways?
    He keeps getting waved into the scales.

    Why does Michael Moore wear shirts?
    To hide his harpoon scars.

    How do you clean a tunnel?
    Tie a rope around Michael Moore and drag him through.

    What’s the difference between Michael Moore and Godzilla?
    One’s a big, ugly monster and the other appears in Japanese films.

    Why does Michael Moore hate America?
    Just look at what growing up there did to him.

    How do we know Michael Moore is from Flint?
    What other city could produce such a slob?

    What’s the difference between Michael Moore and Adolph Hitler?
    Hitler was devoted to his country.

  47. bill o’really and rummy.

    hey billy ax baracky about his birth cert. next time you blow him.

  48. What movies did Michael Moore appear in that he didn’t make?
    Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, and Dune.

  49. How do you know you’re close to Michael Moore’s house?

    Big sign saying “Thar be whale here!”

  50. labor too, is a commodity, little AJB, and subject to the laws of supply and demand.

    That was a waste of 16 words.

  51. The Silver Whistle wrote:

    Rendered down at the correct temperature, Mikey could provide heating oil for a family of four for a month. Time to be of use to society, Mikey.

    Oh, puh-leeze! I use heating oil, and I am certain that there is no amount of refinery work which could be done to turn Mr Moore into a cleanly-enough burning fuel to not pollute the entire neighborhood, nor fill my humble abode with noxious fumes.

  52. Well said, Mueller. But AJB’s class envy won’t allow for that type of thinking.

  53. Actually, he has a point if you look at the fact that profits are up, worker productivity is up and wages are down. Average Americans are working harder but aren’t seeing it in their paychecks. They’re producing more wealth but they aren’t getting any of it.

    You know who gets an even bigger chunk of those profits than the workers or the owners?

    The gummint. Do the math.

  54. The Reckoning

    It’s fine to have a blow-out in a fancy restaurant,
    With terrapin and canvas-back and all the wine you want;
    To enjoy the flowers and music, watch the pretty women pass,
    Smoke a choice cigar, and sip the wealthy water in your glass.
    It’s bully in a high-toned joint to eat and drink your fill,
    But it’s quite another matter when you
    Pay the bill.

    It’s great to go out every night on fun or pleasure bent;
    To wear your glad rags always and to never save a cent;
    To drift along regardless, have a good time every trip;
    To hit the high spots sometimes, and to let your chances slip;
    To know you’re acting foolish, yet to go on fooling still,
    Till Nature calls a show-down, and you
    Pay the bill.

    Time has got a little bill — get wise while yet you may,
    For the debit side’s increasing in a most alarming way;
    The things you had no right to do, the things you should have done,
    They’re all put down; it’s up to you to pay for every one.
    So eat, drink and be merry, have a good time if you will,
    But God help you when the time comes, and you
    Foot the bill.

  55. Good poem mojo.

    Oh and did I mention, Fuck Michael Moore.

  56. Fuck Michael Moore.

    Not even with Mummer GoDaffy’s dick.

  57. Not even with Charlie Sheen’s dick.

    (Speaking of whom, Jeff, shouldn’t he be guest-blogging here?)

  58. Well, CAN I get a login named “Charlie Sheen’s Dick”?

    Trust me, I have the perfect avatar…

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