November 19, 2010

It's Friday, Jeff, and we thought that given the new site modifications, perhaps you could put in a word –

Well, you all thought wrong.

Not only will the little bastard not dance — but he’s refusing even to get up out of the Barcalounger until (and I’m paraphrasing here) someone explains to him why it’s perfectly fine to get your squeakhole bleached, but get caught one time watching “Night Rider” while squatting on a traffic cone, and suddenly the invitations to poker night with the fellas dry right up.

Posted by Jeff G. @ 4:09pm
107 comments | Trackback

Comments (107)

  1. You might explain to the shelled rapscallion that getting your squeakhole bleached, and then telling the guys about it, might give them pause as well.

  2. A traffic cone? Well, yeah, I can understand the fellas’ attitudes about that.

  3. Getting it bleached has to be even more dangerous than getting it waxed.

  4. JD just gave new meaning to the term “bleached blond.”

  5. Revenge of the albino squeakholes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. what an odd avatar jd

  7. I had songs ready for him to dance to and everything I’m very good about bookmarking these things

  8. maybe Bristol can use them

  9. never mind i had to squint to see the gun

  10. There is nothing odd about a Holland & Holland 700 Nitro Express.

  11. but get caught one time watching “Night Rider” while squatting on a traffic cone

    So when does his new TSA job start?

  12. According to Wikipedia an armadillo’s asshole is called an “asshole”.

    Strange. I figured it would have been something more scientific.

    Not sure what it’s called if it’s bleached, though.

  13. . . . someone explains to him why it’s perfectly fine to get your squeakhole bleached, but get caught one time watching “Night Rider” while squatting on a traffic cone, and suddenly the invitations to poker night with the fellas dry right up.

    Easy peasy. “The fellas”, who we may assume for the purposes of this demonstration are taking the word of one among their number that he has seen with his own eyes the offense against traffic cones and TV series standards decorum, need never have known about any squeakhole bleaching, let alone have any evidence such a thing is possible (that they’d be willing to reveal publicly, that is).

  14. also it’s Knight Rider with a K cause remember they had a chess piece on the super-secret knight rider mobile truck headquarters

  15. There is nothing odd about a Holland & Holland 700 Nitro Express.

    no there isn’t but the image could viewed as someone holding a vibrator

  16. Knight Anole

  17. Did the show ever reveal what K.I.T.T. stood for?

    That was the car’s name, right? With the voice by that guy on St. Elsewhere.

  18. “Night Rider”? The villain from Mad Max? I knew Dillo was a “bad boy”, but not that he had a thing for others of his kind…

    Armadillos of a, er, feather and all…

  19. Knight Industries Two Thousand

    Thanks, Google!

  20. Unless you mean “Knight Rider”. If that’s the case, all I wanna know is if he has a thing for The Hof, the car-K.I.T.T., TV in general, or just, you know, likes squatting on cones.

  21. Wow, Bob. Nice.

    The bad guy from Road Warrior was Lord Humongous if I remember correctly.

  22. Not sure what it’s called if it’s bleached, though.

    – A Micheal Jackson special.

  23. - A Micheal Jackson special.

    Wouldn’t it be ironic if that was the only part of his body that wasn’t bleached?

    I guess we’ll never know now.

    We miss you, MJ!

  24. - Or just “gitting your squeeker Jacksoned” amongst the homies.

  25. Newrouter appears fixated on the dildo tonight.

  26. no there isn’t but the image could viewed as someone holding a vibrator

    raises hand ….

  27. I’M JUST SAYING… you can’t see the part on the bottom very well.

  28. - Carin – are you in the car?

  29. That was for you, car in.

  30. …why it’s perfectly fine to get your squeakhole bleached, but get caught one time watching “Night Rider” while squatting on a traffic cone, and suddenly the invitations to poker night with the fellas dry right up.

    Just for the record, it was the watching “Knight Rider” that stopped the poker-night invitations.

    The other guys are all big McGyver fans.

  31. Bordo,
    The “Night Rider” was the whack-job involved in the high-speed chase during the opening sequences of the film. The guy who’s body the “Toecutter” collected and who’s death he vowed to avenge.

    See here ( http://tiny.cc/MadMaxOpen )

  32. - With all the incidents in the news recently involving vibrators, we could see a thrillah B movie out of Hollyweird this season.

    Vibrator from the pink lagoon

    Return of the Vampire Dildo’s

    Attack of the 50 foot Vibrator

    The Dildo that ate Cleveland

  33. Lord Humongous was from the second movie, The Road Warrior.

  34. The 700 cal donger

  35. Newrouter appears fixated on the dildo tonight

    just another drill bit

  36. 15. newrouter posted on 11/19 @ 4:47 pm

    There is nothing odd about a Holland & Holland 700 Nitro Express.

    no there isn’t but the image could viewed as someone holding a vibrator

    That would be an armor dildo….

  37. that’s a plunging router

  38. Knight Rider is awesome. I want to kidnap Mr. Pheeney, tie him up in the trunk of my trans am, and force him to read me GPS direction.

    “Entropy, it appears the exit is approaching 400 meters to the right. Shall I notify the office you’ll be arriving early?”; SAY IT! Or else it gets the hose again!

    God help that man if I ever figgure out where he lives.

  39. - Well, at least that clears up the mystery of why the little dude’s buttsky has that day-glo orange tinge.

  40. Remember when the ‘Hoff fought the semi that was like a big, evil version of K.I.T.T.? That was pretty awesome to a eight year old.

    Seeing as how the ‘dillo won’t dance for us, here‘s Erin Gray from Buck Rogers wearing the form-fitting clothes of the future.

  41. It’s morning in America again.

  42. Toecutter. That was it.

    Also, Max’s last name was Rockatansky. I didn’t even have to look that up. Not sure why I know it, though.

  43. Thank you for that, bh. I was afraid that was going to be a link to swimsuit photos of MadCow.

  44. Did the show ever reveal what K.I.T.T. stood for?

    Knight Industries Two Thousand.

  45. Thanks for that, bh. That takes a little sting out of the armored rodent not dancing…AGAIN!

  46. #44, See #19…

  47. Put the Panzer-rat on DWTS, like Bristol. He’ll get to dance with the hat professional dancing girls.

    I don’t think any are really his type though; there are no pole dancers as far as I know.

  48. For my part, all I’ll say is the original mechanic-chick, Bonnie, was darned cute.

    …Yeah, that’s all I got.

  49. ….. but get caught one time watching “Night Rider” while squatting on a traffic cone….

    I will not ask what this poker night you mention is all about .

  50. - Hy, at least the resident rodent has not had any repeats of parking the Jeep up on top of the water tower in Golden….so there’s that.

  51. ….I’ll never forget that time when he went missing for three days, and you finally found him sitting next to a dumpster behind a Toracho jam bar in Tijuana, sucking worms out of empty Tequila bottles, and trying to convince some hairless chihuahua chic he’d hooked up with that his crank was a lever to the 7th portal of heaven….Don’t know how you put up with him….

  52. what have we accomplished today exactly

  53. I have accomplished not making the Thai spring rolls for yet another day. I cannot say what holds me back.

  54. - We survived another week under the brilliant leadership of the Bumbblefuck technicolored Utopia, and managed to reach the weekend.

  55. 52. happyfeet posted on 11/19 @ 6:40 pm
    what have we accomplished today exactly

    We’ve lived through it, so far anyway. Some days that’s about all one can hope for. A little ‘dillo dance? You knew that was wishful thinking….

  56. what have we accomplished today exactly

    vote bristol monday night

  57. Damn. I go to work for five days and next thing I know I have to register like all the cool kids.

  58. - S’ok Joan. No one messed with your ash while you were gone.

  59. - Gotta love the way the Proggie zit brigade completely losses it’s shit every time any Palin takes a breath.

  60. I’ll never forget that time when he went missing for three days, and you finally found him sitting next to a dumpster behind a Toracho jam bar in Tijuana

    There’s actually a very funny story about that particular outing. Wish I could remember it.

  61. Damn. It’s like your speaking directly to me. Get out of my head.

  62. Not the type of dancing I want to see…

  63. There is nothing odd about a Holland & Holland 700 Nitro Express.

    Well, for the cost of one of those, you can equip a small force with ten of these. The Barrett 82A1, starting around $10K, nicely equipped.

  64. They make the 700 Nitro Express in a fucking revolver. It weighs over 13 pounds.

  65. serr8d,

    This one looks nicely equipped.

    Sexy as hell in the prone position

  66. That’s insane.

    Deer season opens for us tomorrow.

  67. 700 Nitro Express in a fucking revolver

    Which is very expensive, because it includes the surgery to reattach your arm after you’ve fired it.

    Useful handguns have calibers beginning with “4”. Less is a water pistol, more is ostentatious.

    Regards,
    Ric

  68. Ostentatious.

    I got to fire one once. It did very bad things to the target (the one time I managed to hit the target…)

  69. Found a video of a .600 being fired.

  70. BTW, “Proggie zit brigade” is really funny. ;^)

  71. - No reason why a round of gun range practice has to be boring.

  72. Never fired one, but I shot in the booth right next to guy who was firing a .50 cal S&W revolver at a gun show a few months back. It was quite impressive. Everybody is firing guns and wearing ear protection… it’s not like I have an airsoft pistol, I’m shooting a .357 150gr magnum. Everybody stops firing when that thing went off. And everyone in the range jerks and cringes.

    You hear:

    pop, pop, pop pop pop pop, pop pop, poom, pop pop, poom, pop, pop pop pop, KAFUCKINBOOM, ……………, ………., “HAHAHAHA HOLY SHIT”, ……., “My hand hurts now you wanna try it?”

  73. Entropy…nice. Thermodynamics fun.

  74. Via The Drudge Report.

    “1 in 5 Americans suffer from mental illness.”

    “Joan Baez falls out of tree”

    It all makes sense now.

  75. Which is very expensive, because it includes the surgery to reattach your arm after you’ve fired it.

    Or a detached retina, which is a real world possibility.

  76. My fave was layin’ down some 20 mike-mike Vulcan…

  77. Useful handguns have calibers beginning with “4?. Less is a water pistol, more is ostentatious.

    Or a millimeter count of at least two digits, unless you’ve got a drum magazine.

  78. I’ve never felt my .357 magnum was in the water pistol class.

  79. geoffb, exceptions do exist, and the first rule is “the gun in your hand is better than the one you left at home.” The second rule is, “the gun you can shoot comfortably is better than the one that bothers you.”

    That being said — trying to overcome deficiencies in bullet mass by going for high velocity gives impressive sturm und drang and things getting perforated that shouldn’t be. Any machine is a compromise, and .45 ACP is right in the sweet spot.

    Regards,
    Ric

  80. “Poker night” is not a pun, I hope.

  81. Poker? I hardly knew her.

    I slay me.

  82. Ric,

    You are truly a man after my own heart.

    I think pistol design reached its pinnacle with the advent of the 1911 45 acp.

    Yeah, Glock makes an excellent pistol, but damn they’re ugly.

  83. I don’t wish to be thought of as knocking the .45ACP or the M1911. I consider John Browning to be one of the great Americans.

    Though I own 3 auto-loading pistols I have much more time in using wheelguns. In an emergency that is what I reach for as it is what works for me. My .357 magnum is the best I have and I consider it quite adequate.

    If I had the extra money I’d like a .44 special like the Charter Bulldog or for twice as much money the Smith & Wesson M396. 44 magnum is way too much weight and power for defensive use but more of a hunting round IMHO.

  84. Didn’t the Bleached Squeakholes open for the Butthole Surfers in about ’82?

  85. Didn’t the Bleached Squeakholes open for the Butthole Surfers in about ’82?

    Yep. Their most popular songs, so I’ve heard, were “Good Vibrators,” “California Boys” and “In My Bum.”

  86. 44 magnum is way too much weight and power for defensive use but more of a hunting round IMHO.

    I dunno geoffb. I have both the Mark VII and XIX Desert Eagle in .44 mag. It’s pretty darn smooth firing, at least for me, with quick follow-up shots on target; running a full jacket 240 grain bullet most of the time. But maybe that’s just me…

  87. Sometimes I get the sense that calibers and grain loads are kinda like golf shaft stiffnesses. Ya tries ‘em an sees what works.

  88. For a CCW sidearm, nothing beats a Smith & Wesson 342.

  89. That’s a sage statement sdferr,
    Many folks find my Desert Eagle handguns to be cannonesque and unmanageable; that they are an “overcompensation” so to speak. Now I’m larger than the average bear, and they feel extremly comfortable in my hand, and the recoil, to me, is not so much. I can empty the clip into a human silhouette at 50 meters in just a couple of seconds, and put all of the shots in the center mass kill zone. Although, using my Caliber it would probably only require one round per customer.

    I became quite a good pistoleer over the years, having spent a lot of time praticing at the range and at some property I have in southwest Virginia.

  90. Mike, it’s pretty hard to get a CCW permit in the NYC area. I’m just as happy to have it in my home.

    More places shouldbe like in Texas and let you “strap it”.

  91. Yes, that is unfortunate. It’s too bad that the state of New York didn’t enact a shall-issue concealed carry law before the left took over, which is what the state of Washington did back in the ’80s before their descent into political insanity.

  92. I wish I knew how to explain Wisconsin on this point. It’s probably that we suck.

  93. Jeez bh, I’ve been thinking lately that Wisconsin is on the road to bein’ the most heroic state going. Almost like since it’s got a burden under its history of progressivism, it’s done decided to lead the nation back to sanity all on its own broad shoulders (or big-assed wheel of Gouda, Cheddar or what have you).

  94. Now if only it can make some inroads with the nutters next door in Minnesota, it’ll really have a point of pride to boast with.

  95. Okay, I’m going with your outlook instead.

    Heroes!

  96. They have nutters to the North and the South. At least I have a slice of Indiana between Chicago and my State. WI is squeezed between two crazies.

  97. Damn straight.

    Wisconsin. Beer!
    Wisconsin. Sausages!
    Wisconsin. Cheese!
    Wisconsin. Harleys!
    Wisconsin. Bucyrus International!
    Wisconsin. Paul Ryan!

  98. bh is there some scheme to your avatars?

  99. Loosely I guess geoffb, I more look at Chicagoland as a collection of cynical bastards more than as nutters.

  100. Hyde Park then?

  101. Okay, I’ll admit it. I cried a little when reading your comment, sdferr. Manly tears though. A little excess beer from my eyes, that’s all.

    They’re all internet memes, Geoff. Think it’s time to switch to bed intruder, btw.

  102. Hey, Hyde Park was cool. Let’s not let Obama ruin everything.

  103. I gotta hit the hay too and hope that I do better on a thread tomorrow. On this one I’m toast, twice over.

  104. Okay, I’m a bit slow. This is what I meant by bed intruder. Explains the latest avatar.

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