Hiya, big guy! We were just wondering, this being Friday and all, if maybe —
— Sorry, not this weekend, guys. Seems when somebody heard about the new Arizona border security law he saw a niche market opening for a “coyote pimp hand” and off he went, forty bucks, snakeskin boots, and a jar of Spanish fly tucked in an old bedroll.
I still don’t know what a coyote pimp hand is exactly — the little fellow was in such a hurry to bum a ride with some neighbors heading off to the Grand Canyon on holiday that he didn’t have time to walk me through it — but from the bit I gathered, his plan involves tequila, an enormous fur-lined sombrero, and half a dozen naked Mexican chicks jammed into the trunk of a Buick.
Which, if you ask me seems a risky use of capital — although I must admit the giant hat idea sounds absolutely dope. At least, in theory.