April 1, 2010

Shannon Elizabeth comments on the realization that there really ARE two Americas, just not in the way, say, John Edwards would’ve had you believe

Elizabeth: “Several years back, right after we finished principle shooting for American Pie 2, I think it was, I visited that other America. Montana. For a week.

“Can’t say that I remember too too much about it offhand — except for lots of horses, gorgeous cowboys, and really really good steak. Oh. And that Sean Astin didn’t keep showing up at every bar I went to, or send me blurry cellphone pics of his midget junk. Which was kinda a nice change.”*

Posted by Jeff G. @ 10:16am

Comments (33)

  1. The beauty of Protein Wisdom is that you get insightful commentary regarding current political topics and how they relate to historical and cultural trends such as intentionalism and racism.

    Also, midget junk.

    God bless America.

  2. Did she try poking his eye out with a nipple?

    ‘Cause that would work for me.

  3. midgets are creepy, beyond words. midget junk made me hurl.

  4. Astin – the dirty socialist midget is Astin… the car I can’t afford is Aston…

    I suck at mnemonics.

  5. I typed in Astin and it gave me a red underline. I was only trying to be civil and not argue.

  6. Way, way OT: The Rape of Lady Liberty, a favorable piece on the cartoon that won’t go away.

  7. Montana is not Corey Haim’s heaven.

  8. Two Americas:

    The one that pulls the wagon, and the one that rides in it.

    That wagon is getting awfully heavy.

  9. It’s funny how at one moment you’re thinking “really really good steak” and the next you’re thinking “midget junk”. By funny, I mean, that might have just turned me midgetgay.

    You dirty cog psych mindfucker.

  10. Once the wagon gets heavy enough, we are going to stop pulling it, no matter how hard the whip is applied.

  11. OT: *.

    My friend’s mom used to drive us to jiu-jitsu practice in a yellow Gremlin with a racing stripe when I was a little kid. On the way there we’d sing along to the AM radio and on the way back she’d stop at McDonald’s and buy us each a small french fry.

    Mrs. O’Neil and the yellow gremlin. Possible band name.

  12. Midget? Let me tell you something. In the showers after gym class, Sam’d wait for Merry to get his face all soapy, then he’d replace Merry’s loofa on a stick with his kronkus. Merry’s be all blind and yelling, “Gamgee, get off! I’m trying to exfoliate here!” And Sam’d be all like, “I’m tryin’ Mr Merry! I’m tryin’!” Hilarious. Guy cracked me up. Still laugh about it.

    But seriously… Like Smeagol’s arm holding a grapefruit… used to call his morning wood “The rape of the Shire”.

  13. I wonder whether it’s a comment on me that I associated the link to John Edwards immediately with midget junk and not with the two Americas part.

  14. Once the wagon gets heavy enough, we are going to stop pulling it, no matter how hard the whip is applied.

    Whips I could probably get used to. But midget junk? I’ll pull like friggin’ Hercules.

  15. He didn’t send photos of his hairy hobbit feet?
    Ms. Elizabeth shouldbe thankful for that.

  16. While easily able to dispense with her principles, Shannon’s hobbits would not leave her alone.

  17. Sen Webb was seen turning midgets upside down and placing their cranks in his mouth, either as a traditional greeting, or for fun and profit.

  18. that’s just how he rolls I guess

  19. The Gremlin gets a bad rap. A V8 hatchback, America, fuck yeah!

  20. From Cranky’s link:

    If Darleen Click’s cartoon was offensive, good, because that was the intent. We should all be offended by any assault on the principles that make America exceptional.

    Dissent isn’t always classy. It’s confrontational and provocative and yes, it can be tasteless. But as we were reminded throughout the Bush years, dissent is also patriotic. Even when it comes from a conservative woman.

    I like this Jenn Q. Public.

  21. “Once the wagon gets heavy enough, we are going to stop pulling it, no matter how hard the whip is applied.”

    Atlas Tugged. And then stopped. Forget it, doesn’t work. No pun intended.

  22. #20 B Moe:

    If it is provocative and confrontational, then it is art! Because I have been told that all art is supposed to be provocative and confrontational.

  23. It was definitely pushing the boundaries.

  24. Montana is not Corey Haim’s heaven.

  25. is this a midget thread?
    cuz handsome scattering parched rodeo run around confused
    derilict pee stained midgets are some of my best friends

    the love that dare not speak its name

  26. two midgets saunter into a bar..
    a big taller midget with a bulbous freak head,,
    and another tiny midget,,
    so they climb up the barstools
    and the big head midget turns to the tiny midget and says
    “what are u drinking tom cruise.. it’s on me
    just stop following me into the men’s restroom/ ok?”

  27. midgets are at their best at the
    “running of the bulls”
    cuz bulls like to trample midgets first..
    like an appetizer..
    and midgets/as we all know
    are easily sweepable off the streets after they’ve been run over..
    shaken/ not stirred!

  28. nazi midgets are the scariest tho
    think…mm..joey goebbels

  29. i hate when irish midgets pretend thy’re lepraucans
    and say shit like “stay away from my lucky charms”
    and they all like pretend to know where the pot of gold is ..
    i hate them poseuors!
    i just want to kick ’em..
    except on st paddys day/ then i throw snakes at them and say
    “drive this u worm”

  30. russians use to strap midgets on them tanks
    during ww 2/ in tank fights against the nazi
    they would refer to them as the
    “early warning system”
    how many midgets can u strap on a t-34?
    how many midgets can u put in a submarine..
    i hear the military channel/ or pbs is
    having an upcoming special called
    “battle of the ww2 midgets”

    can’t wait!

    get ur popcorn! get ur popcorn here!