Most people, when they think of the Irish on Star Trek, probably think immediately of Chief Miles O’Brien, played by Colm Meaney in both Next Generation and Deep Space Nine. But the Irish have been portrayed in other episodes in the series. First came Kirk’s tormenter from Star Fleet Academy days, Finnegan, in the episode, “Alpha Memory”:
“My own personal devil.”
– Captain James T. Kirk, 2267 (TOS: “Shore Leave”)
Finnegan was the name of a flamboyant Irish upperclassman who tormented James T. Kirk during his time at Starfleet Academy. Looking back from the perspective of years, Kirk described himself as “positively grim” during that era, a fact that delighted jokester Finnegan immensely. The sort of fellow who would put a bowl of cold soup in your bed, or leave a bucket of water propped over a half-open door, Finnegan tormented Cadet Kirk mercilessly.
In 2267, the USS Enterprise discovered the Shore Leave Planet, a place where one’s fantasies were made real. On that world, Kirk encountered a version of Finnegan, exactly as he had appeared so long ago. At that point, Kirk did not understand the nature of the planet, and so he sought answers from Finnegan, who was the first character that actually interacted with the landing party. These attempts earned Kirk only japes and mockery, and finally Kirk had enough – he chased down Finnegan and “beat the tar out of him” – something he’d been longing to do for years. During their fight, Finnegan offered a valuable clue in his statements, “Kinda makes up for things, huh Jim?” and, “I’m being exactly the way you remember me.” At the end of the fight, Kirk and Spock realized that Finnegan, like all the other artifacts, had been created in response to Kirk’s unvoiced desire for revenge. (TOS: “Shore Leave”)
Clearly, Finnegan is some kind of Jungian shadow analogue to Kirk, but he’s also the maniacally unrestrained version of fellow Scottish Celt, Scotty, who only beats on people’s heads when he’s liquored up and provoked by insults against his ship. Like other Star Trek Irishmen, he’s an overgrown psychotic leprechaun.
Next we’ve got the Next Generation episode, “Up the Long Ladder,” which, I suppose, must be some bizarre conflation of neo-Platonism and double helix. At any rate, the lovely Brenna the Bringloidi and a cargo of castaways and their farm animals are picked up by the Enterprise:
In a nice turnabout for romancer/Commander William Riker, she practices seducing him with her forward farmyard charms. It’s clear that she wears the pants in the community. Here’s a pic of her harried, henpecked da:
He sets off the fire containment system on board when he sets out to distill some poteen, unhappy with the synthahol manufactured by the ship’s thingamajiggers. On the plus side, Brenna’s bearing towards her father, and that of the domineering Bringloidi women generally towards men, gives the boyos a fine pretext for sousing themselves all day long.
Meanwhile, it turns out that the other colonists from whom they’ve separated, have availed themselves of the opportunity to put little rubber thingies on their John Henries for so long that they’ve become repulsed by the idea of copulation for the purposes of procreation and have been cloning themselves. This has led to degredation of the genes, and they steal genetic material from the crew of the Enterprise in order to re-invigorate their cell lines. Appalled by the revelation, Picard forces them to re-integrate with the animalistic Bringloidi and re-learn how to get it on, imposing, in effect, a program of hybridization.
Colm Meaney’s character, Chief O’Brien, has a rough go of his Irishness, too:
When visiting Argrathl, O’Brien asked too many questions and was quickly convicted of espionage and sentenced to 20 years simulated incarceration compressed into a short time span (in the episode “Hard Time”). In the simulation, Ee’char was his cellmate, and, eventually, his friend. O’Brien killed Ee’char in a jealous rage upon discovering one night that Ee’char had a small food stash that he’d kept secret from their captors (and from O’Brien as well, in the process) but afterward O’Brien realized that Ee’char had been planning to share it with him. When O’Brien came back to DS9, he felt such intense guilt at having been capable of violently murdering his best and only friend – even if it was all only a simulation – that he was constantly haunted by visions of Ee’char and seriously considered suicide. Dr. Bashir gave him a medicine to prevent future hallucinations, but told him he’d still have to go to a counselor to deal with the feelings of guilt.
So, you know, if you’re ever locked up, try to make sure it’s not with an Irishman. I will admit that I have had occasional urges to murder people. The point is that, largely Irish or not, I am generally able to subdue my desire for homicidal binges before anyone ends up seriously dead.
On the other hand, I’m not Jewish, so I don’t mind the Ferengi. I guess I’m not really outraged at all.
UPDATE: As SarahW points out in comments below, hyper-emotional Dr. Leonard McCoy is a Celt, as well, judging from his name. His run-ins with logical, green-blooded policy wonk Spock are innumerable.
Comment by Darleen on 5/9 @ 8:53 am #
My grandsons are Irish and Italian … temper AND ‘tude.
Comment by Dan Collins on 5/9 @ 8:55 am #
You know what they say, Darleen: There is no “I” in Italian-Irish.
Comment by peter jackson on 5/9 @ 9:09 am #
Drinkin’ and fightin’ and fightin’ and drinkin’!!
Comment by geoffb on 5/9 @ 9:19 am #
Being mostly of Brit ancestry, I of course married a young Irish/Welsh lass so I could oppress her, in person, daily.
Comment by Joe on 5/9 @ 9:23 am #
Christopher from the Sopranos was right, Hell is an eternity in an Irish Bar where everyday is St. Patrick’s Day.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 5/9 @ 9:24 am #
And having married a wee lass from Glasgow, my kids are half Scotch and half water.
Comment by SarahW on 5/9 @ 9:32 am #
I’m from a long line of Leonard McCoys. I think there might be a Viking in the woodpile. Khäääääään!
Comment by geoffb on 5/9 @ 9:43 am #
Oh, yeah 1/4 Danish so I got that Viking thing too.
Comment by RTO Trainer on 5/9 @ 10:09 am #
Irishman and Navigator, Lt Kevin Reiley (TOS) in the episode The Naked Time, takes control of the Enterprise from Engineering and declares himself the new Captain. He requests “double portions of ice cream” for everyone, then begins flipping random switches, fouling up ship systems and warbling the Irish ditty “I’ll Take You Home Again Kathleen” repeatedly over the PA system.
Comment by liam egan on 5/9 @ 11:25 am #
There are 3 ways to do things:
The right way
The wrong way
The Irish way, which is basically the wrong way, but with lotsa drinkin’
Comment by Jeffersonian on 5/9 @ 11:28 am #
My wife and I are mostly German. We’re plotting to annex the common ground next to chez Jeffersonian soon.
Comment by geoffb on 5/9 @ 11:39 am #
I call that “The Fun Way”. You may not get “there”, you may have trouble, but you are sure to enjoy the trip.
Comment by Techie on 5/9 @ 11:56 am #
I’m Scotch-(Scots) Irish. I get the best of both fooking worlds.
Comment by Spiny Norman on 5/9 @ 12:28 pm #
I’m Scottish-English-Frisian-French. Lots of very pale faces in that tree, so ol’ Sol is not my friend.
FWIW, my Scots ancestors weren’t Celts, though, they were originally Norsemen (Clan Gunn).
Comment by McGehee on 5/9 @ 12:28 pm #
I only have one joke about my Irishness, such as it is, and I’ve already told it here twice.
I’m not telling it again right now because I’m sober.
Comment by baldilocks on 5/9 @ 1:54 pm #
You think that the Irish tribe has it bad. Being of the same tribe as Obama–everyone thinks I’m a Marxist.
Of course there’s that wee bit of Irish blood from way back. It’s past 12? Cheers. :::gulp:::
Comment by baldilocks on 5/9 @ 1:57 pm #
Teh One is half Irish too (Dunham). Talk about a grievance tsunami!
Comment by psycho... on 5/9 @ 1:58 pm #
Meh. They’re the least inhuman race in the Star Trek universe. Science-fictional species you’re supposed to hate for their being all Jewy tend to come out that way.
Their first appearance, though, with the hunched-over hissing and shit — bit thick.
I had the ghost of Wagner over (bygones!) when that episode first aired, and he was like, “Düd.“
Comment by urthshu on 5/9 @ 4:26 pm #
Meh. Can’t get worked up about this FOB folderol. I’m American, thats all.
We came to these shoes way too far back [1600s] for ethnicity to make any sense. Plus that, we’ve bred ourselves into serveral different ethnicities and races, such that I’m a walking UN or whatever.
Comment by pdbuttons on 5/9 @ 4:32 pm #
i’m indian/irish
but not casino owning indian
which kinda sucks/ except for the free drinks
Comment by baldilocks on 5/9 @ 4:56 pm #
Comment by urthshu on 5/9 @ 4:26 pm #
Meh. Can’t get worked up about this FOB folderol. I’m American, thats all.
Of course. But we’re just having fun!
Comment by Great Mencken's Ghost! on 5/9 @ 5:06 pm #
#13 I’m Scotch-(Scots) Irish. I get the best of both fooking worlds.
So, basically, you drink like a fish but never pay for a round…
Comment by geoffb on 5/9 @ 5:17 pm #
That’s what it is just for fun.
My 5/8 Brit side the last reference to any ancestors in the old country was in the 1590s, first reference in this land was in the 1610s. The Danes came in 1900’s, Then there is that upstate NY Native American sliver.
But so what, I’m an American. Mongrels all we are, and proud of it.
Comment by The Monster on 5/9 @ 6:33 pm #
Black Irish? I denounce myself.
As long as we’re talking Irish stereotypes, I feel compelled to refer to DaVinci’s Notebook for your enjoyment.
Comment by Bod on 5/9 @ 8:03 pm #
The thought of being on the receiving end of Rosalyn Landor’s farmyard charms sends a tingle down MY leg.
Comment by guinsPen on 5/10 @ 6:52 am #
these shoes
Comment by Andy on 5/10 @ 9:47 am #
I’m gonna be “that” guy and point out that I’m pretty sure there’s no Original Series episode named “Alpha Memory” and that Kirk beats the tar out of Finnegan in “Shore Leave.” Also, I’m pretty sure that Star Trek canon has now established that Kirk’s first 5-year mission began in 2245. I do think there was a book called “Memory Alpha.”
I’m a geek. But I’ve never been to a Star Trek convention, nor have I gone to a movie dressed up as a character.
Comment by RTO Trainer on 5/10 @ 10:11 am #
Andy, Alpha Memory is a Star Trek wiki. Looks like Dan just confused this source (note that the link for Finnegan goes to the AM site) with the episode name.
Comment by McGehee on 5/10 @ 10:27 am #
It’s called “Memory Alpha,” after the library station in that one episode. I imagine the book is likewise named after the library station.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 5/10 @ 2:28 pm #
Yes, but Scotty is the stereotypical Scottish engineer (as James Doohan wanted him to be). The Scots made the best boilers, the best triple-expansion engines. The best ships. Scotty was dedicated, loyal, indestructible, and capable of jury-rigging anything together. He was a Kiplingesque example of a navy engineering officer (and upon reading histories of the the Royal and U.S. navies you realize where that character got its roots – officers and Petty officers to a man).*
And I do not recall anyone denigrating the fighting – and brawling – abilities of the Irish, Scottish, or Welsh regiments of the Royal Army. One of the most famous fights is still Rourke’s Drift, and I do not believe more VC’s were given in one fight then were given to Company B, 2d Battalion, South Wales Borderers.**
I think the saying at Waterloo was ‘The old guard dies, it does not surrender.’ The Celtic regiments have more than met that.
*The original series was in the mid 1960’s – the writers and creators had a ‘memory’ of at least fifty years to work from to give a Scottish engineer life, enough stories from both world wars and before to unconciously absorb of officers, petty officers, warrant officers, etc. who could call the most blasted piece of machinery back to life.
**I hope I got the unit designation correct. ‘Men of Harlech’ indeed.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 5/10 @ 2:33 pm #
BTW – I am mostly English, with Scots, some Irish and French. But altogether, I am American because I don’t have any ‘betters’. That sumbitch ain’t been born yet. And never will.
Comment by passerby on 5/10 @ 2:47 pm #
As a Brit I was slightly annoyed by the TNG episode in which they were having some sort of ‘One man’s terrorist is another man’s freedom fighter’ debate and Data said (I quote from memory), ‘Let’s not forget, it was an armed struggle that eventually achieved the reunification of Ireland in the year 2020.’
Also, there was never really a cool Englishman until Dr Bashir in Deep Space Nine. Admittedly he made up for a lot, basically turning out to be a genetic superman.
Although I suspect that both Englishmen and Irishmen should have been insulted that he and O’Brien were depicted playing bloody darts all the time. WE DO NOT PLAY DARTS ALL THE TIME. We would especially not play darts in a spaceship.
Comment by passerby on 5/10 @ 2:58 pm #
I haven’t seen this Voyager ep but it sounds like more good Irish stereotypes:
http://memory-alpha.org/en/wiki/Maggie_O‘Halloran
Comment by Mikey NTH on 5/10 @ 3:52 pm #
Seriously, if you wanted to leave the Enterprise in command of someone other than Kirk, Scotty was the one to do that. Scotty was the stolid core of the heavy cruiser USS Enterprise.
An indulgence:
Hark, when the night is falling
Hear, hear the pipes are calling
Loudly and proudly calling
Down through the Glen.
There where the hills are sleeping
Now feel the blood a-leaping
High as the spirits
Of the old highland men.
Chorus:
Towering in gallant fame
Scotland my mountain hame
High may your proud standards
Gloriously wave!
Land of my high endeavor
Land of the shining river
Land of my heart forever
Scotland the brave!
Comment by Pellegri on 5/10 @ 4:09 pm #
Needs more space Slavs imo.
Comment by Phinn on 5/10 @ 8:02 pm #
My family name comes from a village in a small, Celtic corner of northwest England, a region that spills over a little into the Scottish lowlands, spreading south a bit into a tiny section of northeastern Wales.
People with my last name have been there so damned long, they pre-dated the arrival of the Scots, the Romans, and the Anglo-Saxons (who are practically Johnny-come-latelies). When they divided England from Scotland, half my ancestors’ tribe was considered English and the other half Scottish.
So, basically, my ancestors have been fending off foreign invaders for two to three thousand years. We may not have the best teeth among the peoples of the earth, but we know how to fight and we never give up.
If you can’t have a drink and laugh, even when some well-equipped army is overrunning your homeland, well, then you might as well be French.
Comment by McGehee on 5/10 @ 8:15 pm #
Well, Phinn — the difference is that when the French are drinking and laughing while foreign invaders are overrunning their homeland, the French are the ones buying wine for the invaders.
In upper Great Gritain the invaders would be buying, and losing at the games of chance.
Comment by McGehee on 5/10 @ 8:16 pm #
Great Gritain? Okay, I just watched a three-hour Tarantino movie. That must explain it.
Comment by pdbuttons on 5/10 @ 10:30 pm #
kill willy/begoragh/volume ocho
Comment by The Osprey on 5/12 @ 12:33 pm #
“Ah, Jimmy boy!”
“FINNEGAN!”
That episode was the most classic (and funny) Kirk fight scene.
Comment by Azero on 1/6 @ 9:03 pm #
@polak I dont think you understood this correctly…