April 10, 2009

My Beef with Jesus [Dan Collins]

I realize that the Triduum is the most important event in the liturgical calendar, and as many of you know, I’m a pretty passionate follower of Jesus the Nazarene. What really bothers me, though (thanks to Karl for pointing this out) is very aptly expressed by Rich Moran, here, where he assumes the Good Friday position.

From now on, if I feel the urge to bash Limbaugh or other righties who speak for conservatives, I will play The Glad Game and find the good in everything. No more piling on to curry favor with the left. No more envious rants against people who make more money than I do and who have made a success of their lives. No more being a tedious moron. No more Miss Fowler. No more elitism. No more RINO stuff. No more aping my liberal brother to whom I have shamelessly hitched my blog star and whose name I constantly invoke in order to feel important . And no more attempts to get links from big blogs by deliberately being provocative, knowing that it will be a real career builder.

See, this made me realize that this sacrifice of the God-Man for human atonement was just Jesus’s passive-aggressive way of lashing out at Satan.

Comments are closed. Over there, I mean.

Crucifixion, Pieter Breughel (the cruxifixee in the background is Rick Moran, per steph in comments)

Posted by Dan Collins @ 10:10am
69 comments | Trackback

Comments (69)

  1. How can someone type when they have nails in their hands? Impressive.

  2. Rick is a whiny little bitch, isn’t he?

  3. Or Rich. Whoever.

  4. Hell if I know. Or care. In my world, there are no weekends, no relief in sight. Pity me!!!!

  5. Is there like a bonus crucifixion in that picture? I haven’t been to church on Easter in forever so it might could be I’m out of the loop. I remember some churchy stuff though. Rick Moran was a dim little man a dim little man was he. We used to sing that in Sunday school.

  6. That’s the J-Man between two thieves, hf.

  7. Oh, yeah, there’s another one in there, too.

  8. Yeah, I was wondering who the fourth guy was, too.

  9. Maybe the fourth guy is a “leftover” from another event. Didn’t they leave the people to rot as a “reminder” to not break their laws?

  10. Obviously, it was a big day for crucifixions. That fourth guy just wasn’t lucky enough to go next to Jesus.

  11. Good Friday!

    Thanks, Dan.

  12. I thought the fourth guy was Rich Moran?

  13. Ah, now I get it. Very clever Dan.

  14. See, this made me realize that this sacrifice of the God-Man for human atonement was just Jesus’s passive-aggressive way of lashing out at Satan.

    So will Allahpundit be changing his name to Jesuspundit?

  15. Bwahahahaaaaaaa! Doubt it, Mike.

  16. “I thought the fourth guy was Rich Moran?”

    Whew – I wouldn’t want to mix Mr. Moran up with the impenitent thief…

  17. I thought the fourth guy was Rich Moran?

    Only if he somehow nailed himself on there and is raising his cross by himself. Yeesh.

    Being lectured on herd behavior by a wildebeest is truly a unique experience.

  18. You know, going on all the time about sin and repentance really isn’t helpful. Jesus needs to get out His message on what Heaven can do for us if He plans on reaching the undecided of this world.

  19. You can sum up his post in three words:

    “Woe is me.”

    Which, by the way, is the exact opposite of what an objective observer would summarize from The Passion, but I digress…

  20. It’s a damned shame the way the first-century Romans treated Community Organizers.

  21. Somebody got a first-class spanking.

    Marbles, home.

  22. Golly. So even Rick Moran is a heretic now.

    Yet more evidence that “conservatism” is deteriorating into a whiny, doomed fringe cult.

  23. He’s just a dork what aspires to be a heretic I think. Did you even read his piece?

  24. No more aping my liberal brother to whom I have shamelessly hitched my blog star and whose name I constantly invoke in order to feel important .

    yea i wouldn’t want to hitch anything to that kind of stupid:

    It’s hard to imagine many liberals being too upset with[terry] Moran, however. He has developed quite a habit of fawning over Barack Obama. In another Media Bistro podcast, on February 20, he compared the President to George Washington and said that the White House was a “step down” for the new Commander in Chief:
    Story Continues Below Ad ↓

    “I like to say that, in some ways, Barack Obama is the first President since George Washington to be taking a step down into the Oval Office,” the “Nightline” co-anchor gushed.

    ?

  25. Heretic? Nope. Soft little whiner? Yes.

    Hey, criticism is fine. So is criticism of criticism. Is that so hard to understand, Corky?

  26. Hey Rich, get off the cross, we need the wood!

  27. He’s just a dork what aspires to be a heretic I think. Did you even read his piece?

    Yes, I did. I also read and appreciate “dorks” like Larison and Allahpundit as well.

  28. Well then I think there is a possibility what should not be overlooked that you might could be a dork. Who is Larison?

  29. Daniel Larison, happyfeet. As in Eunomia. In light of your “dirty socialist” Tourette’s, I somewhat doubt he would be your cup of tea.

  30. hey anybody know where any good ANTI-OBAMA ACTIVITIES are happening?

  31. ok I read that. Larison is a ponderous dork. That is a gay magazine what he writes for. And for real that magazine is a way bigger part of the problem than people what call Rick Moran a dork.

    I will help you understand.

    People what need need need to be part of a movement are just sort of dorky. Inherently. Especially when they are obsessively concerned about the “health” of their movement to where they criticize people who are not concerned about the “health” of the movement in the correct way what they think will make the movement the bestest mostest healthiest movement it can be.

    It’s dorky and weird really, cause people what are in the conservative movement should be the ones most in touch with the essential truth that if rallying people around the flag of ridding our little country of a dirty socialist infestation is not sufficient impetus to propel the movement than that’s a pretty fucking lame movement you got there, buddy.

  32. Take a bottle, shake it up, break the bubble, break it up I think.

  33. Bye, Corky.

  34. Let’s try that again:

    Bye, Corky.

  35. It’s dorky and weird really, cause people what are in the conservative movement should be the ones most in touch with the essential truth that if rallying people around the flag of ridding our little country of a dirty socialist infestation is not sufficient impetus to propel the movement than that’s a pretty fucking lame movement you got there, buddy.

    Aside from the fact that you are quite obviously insane and/or habitually impaired, I would suggest that folks like Larison are your best ticket out of the wilderness.

    Unless, of course, you actually enjoy being there.

  36. It’s not every day that a Buchananite pops in for a visit. I don’t think Mr Corky likes the Outlaw! brand on offer here.

  37. Corky’s treading on dangerous ground here.

  38. Why does (or did, in my case) “Corky” sound so much like assclown?

    They must’ve gone to the same school or somepin’.

  39. Spies, I think you’ve got the Corkster all wrong – that is if I am reading him correctly. If he is like his hero Larison, he is ideologically the inverse of assclown, but shares the same hauteur and contempt for us plebs.

  40. What ground might that be, Carin?

    Please enlighten me.

  41. What are you gonna do here, Corky? Sit here and bitch or unload your wisdom?

  42. Silver Whistle, I freely admit that I’m colorblind in the fascist region of the spectrum.

  43. What are you gonna do here, Corky? Sit here and bitch or unload your wisdom?

    Hey, not all of us can come with up with such succinct, indicative gems as “Magical Negritude”.

  44. Well, I’ll tell you what. You go chisel us up some lapidary piece showing us the error of our ways and how we’re going be “led out of the wilderness.” Ricky should stop feeling sorry for himself, and should bring your A game if you want to play here, because, Corky, this is a) boring and b) insulting.

  45. There’s more than a little touch of irony in an afficianado of The American Conservative pontificating on being led out of the wilderness. I’m going to savour that, on toast, with some rhubarb chutney.

  46. Two main page posts about Rick Moran in two days. He should feel honored not crucified. No such thing as bad internet linky. I think that is an RSM rule or something.

    He seems to have done some cherry picking on which criticisms he will “apologize” for “causing”.

  47. Well, I’ll tell you what. You go chisel us up some lapidary piece showing us the error of our ways and how we’re going be “led out of the wilderness.”

    Shut up and fish. In local ponds. Is that chiseled enough?

  48. Whatever with your shut up and fish. That sounds awful brusque I think. Here is happy Easter news with you I share.

    The mayor of Pacentro, the Abruzzi mountain village where Madonna Ciccone’s paternal grandparents were born, reached out to the pop star, who is practically a holy icon in town, and begged for help.

    Fernando Caparso, mayor of the medieval village of 1,300 souls about 60 miles from the epicenter of Monday’s quake, said the singer quickly called with her generous offer.

    Caparso called it “a beautiful thing” and a big help for the people of the devastated regional capital L’Aquila

    Is nice I think, no? But there is this also…

    Poor Madonna only seems to be in the news when things are going wrong. First, looking ludicrous, strapped to a cross or whatever. Then a big, messy divorce. And most recently, a failed bid to take another Malawian child.

    So it seems about time to note a very good thing connected to her. I am not thinking only about the £340,000 she donated to her grandmother’s hometown in Italy, Pacento in Abruzzo, but also of the fact that Pacento is one of the few towns in the region which has not been devastated by the Aquila earthquake.

    Whether Madonna knows this is another matter. “I am happy to lend a hand to the town my ancestors are from”, is all she said about the matter. Meanwhile, the local mayor is full of enthusiasm: “I had no doubts about her intelligence and sensibility”. He promises, which is just as well under the circumstances, to pass the money on to “our neighbours who have lost everything”.

    Reflexively anti-American or stupid, this Oliver Marre? Not sure if there’s a for real difference but emblematic of dirty socialists either way I think.

  49. Make mine with sweet peppers and mild Giardiniera, please.

  50. Caroline Glick gets a heap of stuff right in this recent column.

    AMERICA’S BETRAYAL of its democratic allies makes each of them more vulnerable to aggression at the hands of their enemies – enemies the Obama administration is now actively attempting to appease. And as the US strengthens their adversaries at their expense, these spurned democracies must consider their options for surviving as free societies in this new, threatening, post-American environment.

    [...] THE RISKS that the newly inaugurated post-American world pose for America’s threatened friends are clear. But viable opportunities for survival do exist, and Israel can and must play a central role in developing them. Specifically, Israel must move swiftly to develop active strategic alliances with Japan, Iraq, Poland, and the Czech Republic and it must expand its alliance with India.

    [...] The possibilities for strategic cooperation between and among all of these states and Israel run the gamut from intelligence sharing to military training, to missile defense, naval development, satellite collaboration, to nuclear cooperation. In addition, of course, expanded economic ties between and among these states can aid each of them in the struggle to stay afloat during the current global economic crisis.

  51. Is she really that optimistic? Dicklick promised change not benign neglect.

  52. Shut up and fish. In local ponds. Is that chiseled enough?

    I heard a story one time about a local Sheriff back home in West Virginia who suspected one of the good old boys up the holler was dynamiting fish, a practice which is illegal if you are unaware. He invited said good old boy to go fishing with him, to try to drop a few hints that he needed to cut that shit out.

    They got out on the river and the good old boy opened his tackle box and pulled out a half stick of dynamite, the Sheriff started raising hell about how he couldn’t do that in his boat, it was illegal, and all that law and order stuff. The old boy just lit the fuse, tossed the stick to the Sheriff and said, “You gonna talk or fish?”

    Some of us just fish different than others, is what I am saying. You might not like it, but that don’t mean it ain’t effective.

  53. I don’t know about optimistic hf, I think she sees that none of these other nations with interests of their own have to sit still waiting for Uncle Sam to bail them out when the evil thing comes. She says “the damage can be limited” if all goes well, not that there won’t be any damage at all. On the other hand, I don’t think she thinks we Americans are going to get off without serious long term harm befalling us.

    The good news is that no doubt sooner rather than later, Obama’s similarly disastrous bid to denude the US of its military power under the naive assumption that it will be able to use its new stature as a morally pure strategic weakling to win its enemies over to its side will fail spectacularly and America’s foreign policy will revert to strategic rationality.

    But to survive the current period of American strategic madness, Israel and the US’s other unwanted allies must build alliances with one another – covertly if need be – to contain their adversaries in the absence of America. If they do so successfully, then the damage to global security induced by Obama’s emasculation of his country will be limited. If on the other hand, they fail, then America’s eventual return to its senses will likely come too late for its allies – if not for America itself.

  54. How weird is it that Obama, reaching for his imagined world of hopey-changey peaceful relations should stumble into another more concrete world of aggressive thugs threatening smaller weaker nations, thus putting the proper fear back into the strategic calculations of the softer European nations of NATO, who’ve been accused of free-riding on the strength of the United States for two or three decades now, and who knows, possibly causing those soft Euros to get off their asses and begin seriously providing for their own defense?

    Teh irony suxors.

  55. Didn’t someone ‘splain teh rules to Corky?

  56. Corky – There was once a phrase about a swordfish that seems appropos right about now.

  57. I thought the fourth guy was Rich Moran?

    Only if he somehow nailed himself on there and is raising his cross by himself. Yeesh.

    Nailed himself on and raised the cross himself? That sounds more like Andy Sullivan to me..

  58. Shorter Moran:

    “I SAID, I’M SUCH A VICTIM!”

    Generally speaking, when feeling put-upon, practical options are:

    1) Rational rebuttal,
    2) Self-deprecating humor,
    and
    3) Ignore it and move on.

    Funny how rarely these options are put to use.

  59. I hope we haven’t scared Corky off, because he was the first real Buchananite I’ve ever bumped into. Oh, I knew they existed, from reading, much like one knows of the existence of hermaphrodites, or mouse lemurs, without ever actually making one’s acquaintance. We could have studied him in captivity, learned of his likes and dislikes, maybe even captured a mate for him, who knows where this could have led. There could have been a publication in it, for heaven sake.

  60. We could have studied him in captivity, learned of his likes and dislikes, maybe even captured a mate for him, who knows where this could have led.

    I’ve heard stories from lab assistants paid to obtain sperm samples from rats (pretty much what you’d imagine) but you sir go too far.

  61. I’ve heard stories from lab assistants paid to obtain sperm samples from rats (pretty much what you’d imagine) but you sir go too far.

    Being insane and habitually impaired, I just thought I’d go fishing in a local pond. Not a nibble so far.

  62. #31
    I’m participating in some now. ’cause I’m all about ‘OUTLAW’! We need theme music.

  63. Habitually Impaired would make a fine name for a blog or a cover band.

  64. To me, Moran, Frum, Patterico, et al are object lessons. None were ever true conservatives, but many of us accepted them when their opinions seemed to be conservative. Moran was always a jackass. Frum was always a country club Republican (such clubs as would admit Canadians and other trash), Patterico was never conservative or Republican or considered as such until he began holding the LAT’s feet to the fire. Andy Sullivan was another who was wooed (ew! but true) by the right, particularly the short pants brigade at NRO’s The Corner, because of his early support of the GWOT.

    Curses, fooled again!

    Let this be a lesson to us: embrace the conservative message, but never assume the messenger is really one of us. Are we not witnessing enough of the Cult of Personality from the other side to warn us once more?

  65. Frum is a gaywad and Moran is just a weirdo, but Mr. Patterico, I read his site and he is a lot conservative. He’s not a super fan of McCain. Also he is a lot pro-life, more lifey than I think most people here are. Jeff and Darleen at least. Probably not Mr. Collins. I haven’t been keeping score really. But Mr. Patterico, he will never not ever support the dirty socialists. He’ll just be gosh-awful nice about not supporting them. Maybe too nice, but that’s a whole different conversation. Frum and Moran are flaky and they are easily confused and very well might could support dirty socialists, but not Mr. Patterico.

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