… to keep from crying. Via Overlawyered comes this CPSIA-mocking catalogue from Rick Woldenberg, Chairman of Learning Resources Inc., a maker of educational toys and materials.
Mr. Woldenberg sent his “catalogue” to a long list of Congresscritters with this email:
As we prepare for the post-CPSIA world, we have come to realize that our products may become obsolete because of a Congressionally-inspired need to keep children and classrooms ultra-safe. Obviously, times have changed, and our virtually spotless 25-year record of safety and concern for consumers is just not good enough anymore. The CPSIA rocked the market with its innovative new safety standard for children’s products in 2008. Okay, it’s arbitrary and unrelated to risk of injury, but boy-oh-boy is it safe! Because of the CPSIA, products that were considered safe on February 9 suddenly became extremely dangerous on February 10 (now THAT’S an innovation!). While our “old” products (those dating back to, oh, four weeks ago) were simply colorful, content-rich and engaging, drawing children into a love of learning with hands-on experiences, we know now that no one would be crazy enough to hold counting blocks in their hands or directly experience the world these days.What will teachers and parents expect from a responsible children’s products company in the future? Inspired by the example set by Congress, we are certain that tomorrow’s consumers will not want to take a chance of ANY possible injury, heck even a hypothetical or imaginary one. As some friendly consumer groups have taught us, there is no reason to take a chance because we’re talking about safety. What a great lesson for us manufacturers! A truly modern design of cutting edge children’s products will need to reflect this shift in favor of a “no risk” bubblewrap childhood. We, for one, contend that fun can still be part of the equation - just no touching.
Unfortunately for Mr. Woldenberg, one of the requirements of membership in Congress is having one’s irony gene removed.
Comment by George Orwell on 3/16 @ 10:59 am #
I want Jumbo Animals set now! This awesome. But is so fucking hard to type with all this bubble wrap around my fingers. Keyboards is dangerous.
Comment by JannyMae on 3/16 @ 11:13 am #
Reading this article brought to mind something that happened when I was still in nursing, several years ago.
We were always assured that the (donated) blood supply was “safe,” but there hadn’t been a test for the hepatitis C virus. Well, they finally came up with a test to screen the donated blood for that, and we were told to encourage doctors to limit transfusions to only those that were absolutely necessary. (That should always be the case anyway).
We were not to use the “old” blood, if at all possible. So the “safe” blood became “unsafe” overnight. Wouldn’t want a lawsuit if somebody got hepatits from the “tainted” blood, now would we?
What’s truly ironic is that there will no doubt continue to be lawsuits filed about “unsafe” toys, despite the “new and improved” regulations.
Comment by Veeshir on 3/16 @ 11:23 am #
Irony ain’t dead, it’s tooling around town in a conversion van, guzzling tequila and having sex with your daughters.
Comment by Darleen on 3/16 @ 11:24 am #
JannyMae
With all due respect, none of the small American toy manufacturers were ever indicated in the Chinese-lead scandal. They already conform to regulations dealing with lead. The toys on Feb 9 were safe and still are, but the CPSIA says “test ‘em again…oops, we don’t have a test but you’re liable even if we don’t have a test and too bad so sad”. And unless you think 12 year olds are licking battery terminals on their off road bikes or 8 year olds are shredding their pre 1985 kid books into a bowl and eatting the pages with milk and sugar, then you need to understand that the CPSIA is destroying billions of dollars worth of product and bankrupting small businesses unnecessarily.
I’m beginning to think this is not so much a bug than a feature of the “law.”
Comment by JannyMae on 3/16 @ 11:49 am #
Darleen, I agree with your take on it. What they have done is outrageous.
My point was that no matter how many regulations for “safety” there are, “they” will still come up with “reasons” to sue (toy) manufacturers. There will always be another “dangerous” toy that should have had a warning on it…which I believe is the whole point of Woldenberg’s “catalog.”
We know that every time they “recall” a product that millions of consumers have bought, because one child managed to injure themself on it.
There is no end to this regulation, because there is no end in sight to, “liability,” for manufacturers, and every time a new standard is set, the liability for the old standard becomes a “danger” worthy of a lawsuit…which destroys businesses.
We’re on the same page.
Comment by Benedick on 3/16 @ 12:06 pm #
I like the sound of “cutting-edge children’s products”.
Sounds like screaming.
Comment by cranky-d on 3/16 @ 12:19 pm #
As opposed to “children’s products with cutting edges” which is just wrong. Unless it isn’t.
Comment by Rob Crawford on 3/16 @ 1:38 pm #
This, folks, is the result of the slope we started sliding down when they banned Jarts.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 3/16 @ 1:39 pm #
Jarts kicked ass.
Comment by George Orwell on 3/16 @ 3:29 pm #
By the way, this isn’t parody:
Obama-Fingers
Dark meat?
Pingback by CPSIA chronicles, March 27 on 3/27 @ 6:22 am #
[...] His company can comply with CPSIA and carry on as before. So why is he so upset? [Rick Woldenberg] And Darleen Click picks up on Woldenberg’s parody post-CPSIA toy “catalog” [Protein Wisdom] [...]
Pingback by Who is really anti-science? [Darleen Click] on 5/28 @ 9:44 pm #
[...] here and [...]
Pingback by Jerry Brown thinks clothing is “toys” … How convenient. [Darleen Click] on 11/19 @ 8:45 am #
[...] and harm to be done by the CPSIA (best coverage at Overlawyered and I’ve covered it here and here) is to see CA AG Jerry “Moonbeam” Brown hold a press conference in order to rattle his [...]