Tatiana had never felt this way before about one of her marks. It had, up to this time, been just a game with her. Many a time and oft the curvaceous Russian spy had tantalizingly set her sights on operatives of the West, and used her irresistible feminine wiles to draw them in to their doom. But now . . . having tasted his throbbing man muscle in all its swelling glory, having listened to the man recite from memory in a solid English translation long passages from Dostoevsky, she found that he spoke to her Slavic soul in a way no man had before.
And he was down there, in the lair.
Soros had him where he wanted him, under the watchful eyes of his henchmen, offering him a hospitality that, in all probability, would be his last. Not him! thought Tatiana.
The louche Baron of International Socialism had offered Hitch some of his own private reserve of sake: “98.6 degrees,” Hitch observed. “Perfect.”
“Thank you, Mr. Hitch,” purred Soros. “Your connoisseurship does justice to the offering. I say this as one gentleman to another. It is a pity that we shan’t meet again.”
“Just now,” he continued, “my World Socialist satellite is reaching the apogee from which it can most effectively vaporize the ‘red’ portions of your little country. Admittedly, due to extensive . . . how do you say it? . . . ah, gerrymathering, there is likely to be some collateral damage.”
“Ah. Well, I do admire at least your enthusiasm for top-shelf alcoholic beverages,” rejoined Hitch, coolly. “Did I mention that I have at my residence a pipe-full of Amontillado?“
Comment by Great Mencken's Ghost! on 2/19 @ 10:02 am #
A Global Warming book for Parents Who Love Their Children
Comment by happyfeet on 2/19 @ 10:13 am #
it’s not too early for Christmas shopping I don’t think, GMG – for real when I get the rest of my metapoetical books later I might get one for little nephew guy. This is confuzzling though…
16 new from $12.99 4 used from $21.00
here’s a better look at the cover
Comment by happyfeet on 2/19 @ 10:14 am #
when did you become all orangey GMG? Good for you, mister.
Comment by geoffb on 2/19 @ 10:27 am #
Very funny, but dangerous too.
Take heed. This power must be used for good.
Comment by SarahW on 2/19 @ 10:30 am #
People keep promising Amontilladoes, but they never deliver.
Comment by geoffb on 2/19 @ 10:34 am #
The Armadillo keeps drinking the Amontillados.
Comment by geoffb on 2/19 @ 10:41 am #
Behold the power of Obamanomics.
Comment by Bob Reed on 2/19 @ 10:41 am #
Wow Dan,
Until you get to the part about being held hostage by Soros, it sounded more like what I envision to be one of thor’s not-so-secret fantasies :)
ÚрðÑÂøòðѠöõýщøýð, Ѡûюñûю тõñѠ…
Úтþ òðш ÿðÿð!
Comment by Rob Crawford on 2/19 @ 10:53 am #
I don’t think he’s drinking it. I mean, the protuberance he shoves into the casks usually isn’t one for the intake of liquids…
Comment by SarahW on 2/19 @ 12:15 pm #
What that needs is some theme music.
That mash-up actually won a grammy.
Comment by thor on 2/19 @ 1:07 pm #
Goddamn right we should vaporize all ‘em hicks. Most live in trailer homes in the tornado belt so God already knows they beg for death. We fill their void with millions of Natashas and Svetlanas and assorted big breasted blahts with sexual revolutionary minds!
Hit ‘em on their banner pre-paid wireless! You go Monsieur Hitchens!
Comment by cranky-d on 2/19 @ 1:12 pm #
If a mash-up can win a grammy, then the grammies have not only jumped the shark but landed on the other side of the shark tank and crashed into a dumpster.
Comment by happyfeet on 2/19 @ 1:12 pm #
Actually age is a bigger driver of pre-paid cell service than socioeconomic status. This is because of the economics of family and shared plans. What you see is that older people – like say over 60 – and younger people college aged up into their mid-late 20s are about equally likely to select a prepaid option.
Comment by thor on 2/19 @ 1:33 pm #
Cranky actually thinks someone gives a shit what he thinks or reads his posts.
Comment by SarahW on 2/19 @ 1:56 pm #
Cranky, that grammy win was some several years ago. Clunker grammy nods are *old*.
Comment by SarahW on 2/19 @ 1:58 pm #
The grammies are over when they STOP nominating shatner covers and mashups.
Comment by SarahW on 2/19 @ 2:01 pm #
The whole world is over except Hitchens went back in time and punched the planet back into orbit.
Comment by cranky-d on 2/19 @ 2:54 pm #
FTFY
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 2/19 @ 5:39 pm #
Did I mention that I have at my residence a pipe-full of Amontillado?
HAHAHA! Brilliant.