Unaccountably, my elder son today exposed me to Kansas’ “Carry On, My Wayward Son” on the way to an appointment; one of his friends had burned it into a CD for him. It occurred to me that it might be the single whitest rock song ever written. And I mean that in a bad way.
Related: Combo Fail
More evidence of ancient Flyover Culture discovered
Aw, how sweet! Hamas supporters think Jews deserve a little lovin’
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 2:23 pm #
Oh, Dan, I’m not so sure about that. This is pretty unpigmented.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 2:29 pm #
It is, but torch songs aren’t fundamentally white the way ELP bombast is.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 2:30 pm #
I like the way you put it, though. What’s the albinoest music evah? (Simply Red doesn’t count, obviously, or Edgar Winter).
Comment by maggie katzen on 1/10 @ 2:34 pm #
Journey
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 2:35 pm #
Hmm, now you’ve opened the whole prog rock can of worms. I suppose, as a sub-genre of rock, it is fairly removed from the blues/r&b origins of rock, and any old exponent would have served, especially ELP as you mention. Can’t really think of a black prog band at all, now that you mention it, although there were some noted black musicians in prog bands.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 1/10 @ 2:51 pm #
Kansas was part of the stadium rock scene of the late seveties. Along with Styx and Boston.
I know, I heard them, my big brother was in high school. He played their tapes, constantly.
I was just happy that MTV came along in the early eighties and broke up the iron playlists of the local radio stations. And then MTV went to ‘all big corporate groups’, but by then I was out of high school and didn’t care.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 1/10 @ 2:54 pm #
Add Journey into that list of stadium groups.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 1/10 @ 2:56 pm #
Foxworthy claims that honor for Lynyrd Skynyrd, I believe.
Another worthy nominee:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYbUCvz1LYE
Comment by Sdferr on 1/10 @ 2:56 pm #
Oy, lost when it comes to pop, what’s an ELP and is it related to an ELO? Would Schubert’s “Die Forelle” count as albino? How about anything performed by “The Association” back in the 60’s?
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 2:57 pm #
Don’t think so, SBP. The polyrhythmic thing is pretty African.
Comment by Americaneocon on 1/10 @ 3:00 pm #
Is “exposed” in your post as in “introduced for the first time”? Or, man I must be getting old! Loved Kansas back then …
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 3:00 pm #
The British 70’s prog rock acts were all incredibly albino – think Genesis in the Peter Gabriel era. Or Gong, King Crimson, Jethro Tull, Yes, Pink Floyd. Forgive me for leaving any out – I’ve come over all nostalgic for my cheesecloth shirts, flared jeans and Afghan coat.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:01 pm #
The Association was a white Ink Spots. The White Outs, I guess.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 1/10 @ 3:04 pm #
Asian white nusic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9pS5xzOWbwo
This is insane…..
Comment by geoffb on 1/10 @ 3:04 pm #
Going further back to “The Days of Future Passed” I say Moody Blues. Or Procul Harum for the whitest song title.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:04 pm #
Pat Boone is out, because of the gospel.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 1/10 @ 3:05 pm #
They claim she’s 10 yo.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 1/10 @ 3:05 pm #
Good point, Dan. On the other hand, it’s David Byrne. I guess it could be argued that he’s dressed sort of like a member of the Nation of Islam…
Comment by Sdferr on 1/10 @ 3:06 pm #
I sort of associated them with another step in the Four Freshmen to Kingston Trio evolution of things.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:06 pm #
Philip Glass is uberwhite, but it’s not rock.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:08 pm #
King Crimson is out, though, because of pieces like “Cat Food,” that borrow heavily from jazz.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 1/10 @ 3:08 pm #
Dan:
‘Embraceble You’ is a great torch (? – opinons may vary) song. No matter the complexion of the authors.
Comment by Sdferr on 1/10 @ 3:09 pm #
Oh, you dint specify rocks Dan ’til now, I don’t think…
Comment by Cave Bear on 1/10 @ 3:12 pm #
ELP=Emerson, Lake and Palmer. Very good band, as are the others mentioned. They made music back in the days when…
Men were REAL men…
Women were REAL women…
Rock n roll was REAL rock n roll (none of this recycled metrosexual pussy boy crap you hear nowadays)
…and an ounce and a half bag of good Mexican dirt weed was still $10 a pop…
Ah, the good old days…:)
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:12 pm #
Embraceable Ewe is Scottish (that ought to bring McGehee).
Comment by Blind Howling Moonbat on 1/10 @ 3:16 pm #
In a surprisingly under-reported story from 2007, Mark Holley, a professor of underwater archaeology at Northwestern Michigan College, discovered a series of stones – some of them arranged in a circle and one of which seemed to show carvings of a mastodon – 40-feet beneath the surface waters of Lake Michigan.
OMG! Global Warming killed the Indians!
Comment by N. O'Brain on 1/10 @ 3:17 pm #
“Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:12 pm #
Embraceable Ewe is Scottish (that ought to bring McGehee).”
Do you know why Scotsman wear kilts?
Comment by Mikey NTH on 1/10 @ 3:19 pm #
But I agree with many of the commenters – by the late seventies rock had really hit a dead end and needed to find a way out. That it did, and then fell to Michael Jackson’s ‘Thriller’ era was heart-breaking.
MTV, I think, helped break it because there wern’t that many band videos, and they had to grab whatever they could find and throw that up on the ‘air’ to fill the space they had. No ‘theme’ could be done because there wasn’t enough to fill a ‘theme’ – here’s the GoGo’s, here’s The Cars, here’s The Police, here’s ZZ Top, here’s Grace Jones, here’s Devo, here’s ABC, etc.
And it was the only game in town; much like HBO put out these really weird shorts to fill in their time – you never knew what you were going to see.
It was like UHF, but with a better reception.
Comment by Mikey NTH on 1/10 @ 3:20 pm #
#27 N. O’Brain:
Because sheep can hear zippers.
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 3:23 pm #
Do you know we’ve found 2 new uses for sheep in the Highlands? Wool, and meat!
Comment by N. O'Brain on 1/10 @ 3:23 pm #
Badda-bing!
Thank you, I’ll be here all week!
Tip you waitress!
Try the veal!
Comment by Mikey NTH on 1/10 @ 3:25 pm #
#24 CaveBear:
I agree with your disgust at the whiny-voiced songs. They even have me muttering, “Oh, fer Gawds sake, man-up you little wuss!”
Even a girl-group song from the early sixties sounds more manly than most pop-rock do singers today.
‘My boyfriend’s back and you’re gonna get in trouble,
Hey la,
Hey la,
He’ll kick your ass!’
Comment by Pablo on 1/10 @ 3:26 pm #
Little Willy followed by anything by The Cars
Comment by N. O'Brain on 1/10 @ 3:27 pm #
Or you could just create a Glenn Gould Pandora station.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:28 pm #
Hand claps on “Little Willy”. It’s out.
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 3:31 pm #
Camel. Or Soft Machine. Absolutely no colour of any kind whatsoever. Beyond anaemic. Pallid, limp and flaccid.
Comment by Carin on 1/10 @ 3:31 pm #
People look to disco as what “overcame” late 70’s rock (a reaction?) but I would say you need to look to punk rock. Of course, 70’s stuff didn’t go away … I always thought it simply morphed into those awful hair bands. And lets not even mention Asia.
Comment by Pablo on 1/10 @ 3:33 pm #
If You’re Happy and You Know It has hand claps. Ain’t rock, tho.
Comment by donald on 1/10 @ 3:33 pm #
My football buddies thought I was kinda fucked up because I was completely punk by 1977, though I still had a soft place in my heart for Ted Nugent. Kansas was based in Atlanta and were huge. I thought THEY were completely pussy.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 1/10 @ 3:35 pm #
These guys should get points just for the name:
http://www.myspace.com/thewhitestboyalive
Comment by donald on 1/10 @ 3:36 pm #
And best of all, I’m off to see The Long Ryders and get me some punk/gram/burrito/bluegrass/americana that ain’t happening no other frickin place in the world. Tonight I’m the coolest fucker here.
Comment by B Moe on 1/10 @ 3:37 pm #
I might have to go with the Carpenters, or Barry Manilow. Don’t know if that is really rock.
Comment by B Moe on 1/10 @ 3:37 pm #
Do you know if there are still tickets for that show, donald? I am seriously tempted to go, just had a long day and hate that fucking drive.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 1/10 @ 3:39 pm #
The Osmonds haven’t been mentioned yet? Odd.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rsn4KZkUBeg
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:41 pm #
“Go Away Little Girl” could have been performed by The Jackson 5.
Comment by donald on 1/10 @ 3:42 pm #
Bmoe, I got two extra. Drop me a line at my email, leave you’re cell…
dvbbfd@yahoo.com
Comment by sears poncho on 1/10 @ 3:43 pm #
Whitest song ever written goes to the entire Rush catalog.
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 3:43 pm #
Anyone remember those ghastly Krautrock bands? Very milky.
Comment by JPS on 1/10 @ 3:44 pm #
What’s the albinoest music evah?
Can anyone play; or is this just for you youngsters?
If the former, my stuff..
If the latter, eat me.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:45 pm #
Scorpions, for example?
Comment by parsnip on 1/10 @ 3:46 pm #
Barack the Magic Negro
Whitest.Song.Evah
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 3:47 pm #
I was thinking the electronic ones, Dan, like Ash Ra Tempel and Triumvirat. Kraftwerk. Tangerine Dream. Yeuch, I shudder typing the names.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:49 pm #
Kraftwerk! Uber. But is it rock?
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:49 pm #
Strangely, Robin Trower’s somewhat black.
Comment by sears poncho on 1/10 @ 3:50 pm #
Ironic, since Kraftwerk samples are all over the original rap stuff….
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 3:52 pm #
Yes, Trower has too much blues in him. Kraftwerk is definitely in the Krautrock genre, but the rock does seem to have all but disappeared. I guess that’s the point, though.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:52 pm #
Robert Fripp would be enormously white in and of himself, except that he’s played session on some African-influenced stuff.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 3:56 pm #
Gary Newman?
Comment by Sdferr on 1/10 @ 4:00 pm #
Set off by JPS: it’s not rock but it does rock whitely, “Hands Across the Sea” played by the World Accordion Orchestra!
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 4:01 pm #
Gary Newman?
Oh Lord, Dan. You win. Now get me a bottle of bleach.
Comment by Froederick Kennewick on 1/10 @ 4:02 pm #
“Barack the Magic Negro
Whitest.Song.Evah”
Except for that whole part about the term “Magic Negro” being made up and expanded upon by Pigmented-Americans.
You really aren’t too quick on the uptake, are you, Parsnip ?
Comment by guinsPen on 1/10 @ 4:02 pm #
Gary Newman?
I heard he talked to one.
Comment by Carin on 1/10 @ 4:05 pm #
Parsnip, it’s a new year. Can’t you make some sort of resolution in which you strive to be more interesting? I know many here would appreciate it.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 4:07 pm #
“(I Think I’m) Turning Japanese” is really white.
Comment by Kevin B on 1/10 @ 4:12 pm #
David Bowie
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 4:14 pm #
The Thin White Duke was an r&b man in his early days, so I’d say Bowie is way too unwhite.
Comment by B Moe on 1/10 @ 4:16 pm #
Sent you an email, Don, would like both those tickets if you can spare, found an old compadre who can drive. I will be the old fat guy with the huge grey beard and a black fedora.
Comment by Carin on 1/10 @ 4:16 pm #
No, not Bowie. I lurv Davie Bowie.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 4:19 pm #
Don and B Moe, that’s totally cool. Way.
Maybe it’s time for PW personals?
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 1/10 @ 4:20 pm #
Falco?
Comment by Carin on 1/10 @ 4:22 pm #
Ace has moron meet-ups. I don’t know if there is enough of us here …. of course, I’d probably be interested in meeting a higher percentage of commenters HERE than those over at Ace’s.
I was reading comments there today, and I barely recognized anyone. Weird. I don’t hand out there too oftne anymore.
Comment by parsnip on 1/10 @ 4:22 pm #
Parsnip, it’s a new year. Can’t you make some sort of resolution in which you strive to be more interesting?
Indeed Carin, perhaps all of us here at PW should pledge to take it up a notch in the new year.
Don’t forget to vote!
http://2008.weblogawards.org/polls/best-very-large-blog/
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 4:22 pm #
Now you’re sucking diesel, Spies.
Comment by cranky-d on 1/10 @ 4:27 pm #
Without a firm definition of what a song has to be to be white, I really cannot contribute. Does that mean you’ve taken all the blues out? In which case, is it even rock any more?
Comment by geoffb on 1/10 @ 4:29 pm #
“ghastly Krautrock bands” and the first thing to come to my mind was a British band, Captain Lockheed and the Starfighters.
Comment by geoffb on 1/10 @ 4:33 pm #
How about Abba?
Comment by parsnip on 1/10 @ 4:36 pm #
How about Country Music?
Comment by Carin on 1/10 @ 4:36 pm #
Omg, PW is running against that “jesus General” POS. Ugh. Now I’m gonna vote every day.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 4:39 pm #
Hawkwind, but once again, is it rock at all?
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 4:41 pm #
How about Country Music?
Way too much blues in Hank Williams for early country. Ray Charles and Charley Pride later, so I’d say no.
Comment by parsnip on 1/10 @ 4:45 pm #
Have you heard any Country Music lately, Silver?
Might as well just call it Victim Card music.
Comment by geoffb on 1/10 @ 4:48 pm #
I’d nominate Bowie for whitest album cover for “Hunky Dory”, but his music is as hard to pin down to a genre as Dylan. Every album is different.
Comment by Jeffersonian on 1/10 @ 4:54 pm #
Don’t think so, SBP. The polyrhythmic thing is pretty African.
Plus, the live version on “Stop Making Sense” kicked ass.
Comment by Jeffersonian on 1/10 @ 4:58 pm #
Kraftwerk! Uber. But is it rock?
I thought it was a high school science project.
Comment by cranky-d on 1/10 @ 5:00 pm #
And new country grabs onto some of the signatures of rock and roll (which is not to be confused with rock)
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 5:02 pm #
No, rock and roll shouldn’t be confused with rock, but there are people who straddle them, like Elvis Costello and Nick Lowe and the Iseley Brothers.
Comment by Jeffersonian on 1/10 @ 5:03 pm #
BTW, speaking of the Master Race, has anyone else heard German rap music? We had a German exchange student stay with us a couple of years back, and all he wanted to listen to was this group called “Blumentopf.” After three weeks of that shit, I wrote my Congressman and demanded we send the B-24s over Berlin again.
Comment by Silver Whistle on 1/10 @ 5:05 pm #
Might as well just call it Victim Card music.
Yeah, maybe you’re right. Or not.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 1/10 @ 5:36 pm #
Todd Rundgren?
Comment by Carin on 1/10 @ 5:53 pm #
Hello it’s me …
No, I like him too.
Comment by Carin on 1/10 @ 5:53 pm #
How ’bout Lionel Richie? That is the whitest black man who ever sang funk. Before he turned into a ballad bore.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/10 @ 6:01 pm #
Rundgren did a whole album of R&B covers, called “Faithful.”
Comment by maggie katzen on 1/10 @ 6:05 pm #
nope, but I’ve heard a few French things and it always makes me giggle.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 1/10 @ 6:23 pm #
Has anyone actually heard the Jack Webb album?
How about Shatner’s Shakespeare rap?
Comment by geoffb on 1/10 @ 6:25 pm #
I may have to go with #74 by cranky-d and consider the entire question a category error.
Comment by geoffb on 1/10 @ 6:39 pm #
Then again.
Comment by B Moe on 1/10 @ 6:45 pm #
I still can’t believe the Leningrad Cowboys aren’t from Athens.
Comment by RR Ryan on 1/10 @ 6:52 pm #
My almost neighbor, Billy Idol. Or Adam Ant. ABC. ABBA…all of whom i like, by the way.
Comment by Christopher Taylor on 1/10 @ 7:24 pm #
And I mean that in a bad way.
This from the guy that think Warren Zevon is a genius.
Comment by Sticky B on 1/10 @ 7:36 pm #
David Gates & Bread.
Hey…..it don’t get any fuckin’ whiter than Bread.
Comment by RR Ryan on 1/10 @ 7:37 pm #
Well, Warren Zevon was a genius. Messed up, but a genius, nonetheless.
Comment by guinsPen on 1/10 @ 8:05 pm #
The Beach Boys.
Comment by guinsPen on 1/10 @ 8:06 pm #
Beach
Comment by Bob Reed on 1/10 @ 10:59 pm #
It may be the single whitest song ever written; but it’s exponentially better than any of the t rap crap!
I say that as a former playah…
Comment by donald on 1/11 @ 1:58 am #
Turns out, Bmoe is a musical super god from years past. And a heckuva guy.
Comment by thor on 1/11 @ 2:34 am #
I grew up in Dallas in the era of Texas guitar slingers, legendary truss rod benders playing thrashin’ blues, but also guys like Hash Brown and Gatemouth Brown colored the scene. Then there were the chicks, namely the Dixie Chicks, who actually did play for free on street corners down at the West End as well did Eddie Brickell and her happenin’ hippies who jammed in outdoor alley ways.
There’s something down with the London scene and the chicks. First it was Lily Allen and now it’s M.I.A.. These two chicks remind me of the first time I saw Beck and muttered to myself of him being “so young and talented it’s insane.”
Yeah, M.I.A., she’s unfuckin’ believable good and the chick is only 21. Song of the year, hands down.
Comment by B Moe on 1/11 @ 3:25 am #
Hash Brown? Missed him I reckon. The Dixie Chicks are okay, but Liza Gilkeson and Bonnie Raitt and Precious Bryant and Allison Krause and a whole lot of other women did it first and better. MIA is this years fashion, about as relevant as a postage stamp.
If you really want to understand Texas Blues, you need to get to know
Lightning Hopkins http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQQ4YTL1P1A,
or T Bone Walker. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VSOYOFQgVMs&feature=related
But seeing as how big an Obama fan you are, you might should study up on some Chicago Blues. The real shit.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUv3t91Fxs8&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehq0vVZvm3Q&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RA8NyvzIWk
Comment by B Moe on 1/11 @ 3:29 am #
Thanks for the tickets and the props, Don, but Gods from years past are mostly mythological.
Comment by thor on 1/11 @ 4:36 am #
Yeah, BMoe, I’ve even heard of B.B. King, go figure. Tell me about some Chicago blues greats like Albert Collins… from Texas.
Hash Brown is a local talent.
M.I.A. plays to a younger genre but she’s amazingly artistic for her age, sort’a like this talentless loser was when he was her age.
Comment by guinsPen on 1/11 @ 5:53 am #
Lil-le-ham-mer had a farm, e-i-e-i-o…
Comment by donald on 1/11 @ 10:35 am #
I live in my own fantasy world BMoe!
Comment by Carin on 1/11 @ 10:46 am #
OMG, Thor, you are killing me with that M.I.A. song. It absolutely sucks.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/11 @ 10:50 am #
I like “Planes.”
Comment by guinsPen on 1/11 @ 10:55 am #
But it’s chicks, Carin.
Chicks.
Comment by thor on 1/11 @ 1:52 pm #
Comment by Carin on 1/11 @ 10:46 am #
OMG, Thor, you are killing me with that M.I.A. song. It absolutely sucks.
Planes is like Feist’s 1,2,3,4, both are pop-catchy and unique, one updates folk and the other world music. Didn’t Rolling Stone gave M.I.A. album of the year? M.I.A. looks to be a gifted young artist, very bright in the head too. Then again I’m into praise’n.
Comment by Dan Collins on 1/11 @ 1:53 pm #
I don’t think she’s that young, though. 26, or something.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 1/11 @ 1:57 pm #
How about Nina Gordon’s cover of Straight Outta Compton?
Started out as a black song, true, but there’s not much blackness left in her version.
Comment by thor on 1/11 @ 2:57 pm #
She’s 21. She may be more talented visually and in the graphic arts than musically but that’s the state of affairs in a multimedia world. The young lady is talented, unafraid and smart as a whip. Dance music has a notoriously short shelf life so who knows.
Comment by B Moe on 1/11 @ 2:59 pm #
Didn’t Rolling Stone gave M.I.A. album of the year?
lol.
Comment by thor on 1/11 @ 3:04 pm #
Holy shit, she’s 31. Fuck her then.