December 10, 2008
A Yin and Yang Stand-In [Dan Collins]

WIFE:

What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND:

Definitely not!

WIFE:
Why not - don't you like being married?
HUSBAND:
Of course I do.

WIFE:
Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND:
Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE:
You would? (With a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND:
(Makes audible groan).

WIFE:
Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND:
Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE:
Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND:
Where else would we sleep?

WIFE:
Would you let her drive my car?
HUSBAND:
Probably.  It's almost new.

WIFE:
Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND:
That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE:
Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND:
No, she's left-handed.

WIFE:

- silence - -

HUSBAND:
F * ck ....

Related: Girl Loses Virginity, Inadvertently Text Messages Father

9 Comments  :::   Post a comment »

  1. Comment by DarthRove on 12/10 @ 9:44 am #

    My wife objected at our last get-together with friends, when I offered the toast “To our wives and girlfriends…may they never meet.”

  2. Comment by Slartibartfast on 12/10 @ 9:52 am #

    Oh, I LIKE this one.

    Not, I mean, because it strikes a familiar chord.

  3. Comment by McGehee on 12/10 @ 11:12 am #

    I’ll bet Miss Left-Handed also doesn’t ask annoying hypothetical questions about their relationship.

  4. Comment by The Sanity Inspector on 12/10 @ 11:14 am #

    Thanks, Dan; that was spot-on!

  5. Comment by Mossberg500 on 12/10 @ 11:31 am #

    What’s par for this hole?

  6. Comment by Attila (Pillage Idiot) on 12/10 @ 11:32 am #

    One of my favorite jokes, but dude, you have to end it when the hubby says she’s left-handed.

  7. Comment by Mikey NTH on 12/10 @ 4:29 pm #

    Husband: So – what was it you really wanted to fight about?

    (Said as he leaves with a self-packed bag to spend the night at a [single] friend’s house, mentally kicking himself for marrying a girl that ‘wanted to be a writer or poet’, a girl whose favorite book is ‘The Bell Jar’, after all of his friends said ’she’s crazy, get rid of her’…)

  8. Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 12/10 @ 6:09 pm #

    The “girl loses virginity” text is already inspiring parodies.

  9. Comment by ccoffer on 12/10 @ 8:09 pm #

    The virgin looks like she is in her twenties. She’s also coyote ugly. Those girls tend to lose their flower early on.

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