1. walking through the rain
2. and the snow
3. looking for the answer in her eyes
4. agree to disagree
5. disagree to part
6. pay $250 a week for couple’s counseling
7. liven things up in the bedroom by, eg., asking her to bring another woman into the bed, or to dress like the Swiss Miss girl and yodel around your mountain tip
8. try X together
9. be daring: begin with shoplifting; progress to murdering vagrants
10. find out where all ex-boyfriends/girlfriends are living; systematically have them beaten up
11. adopt your partner’s religion — even if it means wearing a funny hat, or eating strange porridges
12. Or –
13. you know what?
14. fuck it. Plenty of fish in the sea, pal.
15. why tie yourself down to some crazy, needy bitch / asshole whom you never really respected to begin with?
16. Hey, you in the jean jacket! Wanna get naked and bump uglies? And don’t worry. I ain’t lookin’ for a relationship…
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October 6, 2008
The “10cc’s ‘Things We Do For Love’ extended mix post” post (from the protein wisdom conceptual series)
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Comment by happyfeet on 10/6 @ 4:08 pm #
I like having someone else to buy produce with cause it’s tedious bagging all the fruits and vegetables alone and then you get home and you find out they were just grabbing whatever, which is ok for the most part cause I’m not that precious and I’ll eat it but still inside you know that these are not grapefruits you would select for someone you really love and it hurts a little.
Comment by Stew on 10/6 @ 4:09 pm #
Brilliant as usual Mr. G.
Comment by urthshu on 10/6 @ 4:11 pm #
might could try craigslist.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/6 @ 4:30 pm #
but don’t ever make me a cd. God I hate when they do that.
Comment by MC on 10/6 @ 4:36 pm #
How did it go with the Ecstasy (Number 8)?
‘Cause you didn’t mean substitute ‘X’ for something – like whatever you want – ’cause that would be like asking us to be intentionalist, which we are trained, you know, not to be and all.
Comment by MC on 10/6 @ 4:38 pm #
‘Cause ‘X’, in that context, borders on being racist, you know. A criticism of Malcolm if nothing else.
RELATIONIST!
Comment by dre on 10/6 @ 5:15 pm #
English units please: 0.33814022558900003 oz
Comment by happyfeet on 10/6 @ 5:28 pm #
No. Turtles are not dirty. You know what? Get the fuck out.
Comment by Carin on 10/6 @ 5:30 pm #
Maggie made me a CD and I lurved it.
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 5:31 pm #
I once killed a hobo for love. No, wait … that was for fun. ;)
Comment by Bob Reed on 10/6 @ 5:33 pm #
You forgot one…
Ask an intern 25 years your junior, and obviously a subordinate in the power relationship, is she’d like to share a pizza…
And maybe taste your pepperoni???
Or
Perhaps you and she could have lunch together…
Tell her you know where she can get a slammin’ tube-steak smothered in underwear!
I know…I know…I denounce myself…
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 10/6 @ 5:33 pm #
Scottish units, please: .023 mutchkins or .092 gills.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 10/6 @ 5:34 pm #
Oh, and the best thing about being married? Having someone to scratch your back.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/6 @ 5:39 pm #
Friend cds are cool. It’s the cds of love what are taxing.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/6 @ 5:41 pm #
You really love me you’d bring me cheese curds.
Comment by Carin on 10/6 @ 5:42 pm #
Worst songs on a CD of love …?
Comment by maggie katzen on 10/6 @ 5:43 pm #
how’s about some Bunny Grahams?
Comment by happyfeet on 10/6 @ 5:43 pm #
anything by Nickleback or from any band sounding remotely like Nickleback
Comment by happyfeet on 10/6 @ 5:44 pm #
Honey Bunny Grahams and you are so in
Comment by maggie katzen on 10/6 @ 5:46 pm #
ha ha, RTO and I always see them in the store and say, “you know who needs those? happyfeet. not that he’d ever give us an address to send them to or anything.” so you get thoughts of Bunny Grahams.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/6 @ 5:47 pm #
Thoughts of Bunny Grahams go a long way in my world. I will thinks them when I am bagging my produce. Alone.
Comment by Carin on 10/6 @ 5:48 pm #
Don’t like Nickleback? heh.
Hey, I hear that gay-like guy from American Idol came out of the closet. Shocka! The things I miss while on vacation.
Comment by lee on 10/6 @ 5:51 pm #
Would “Third of a Ounce” be a good band name?
Because 10cc’s sounds like what a faggy European would call his band.
Comment by urthshu on 10/6 @ 5:52 pm #
>>Worst songs on a CD of love …?
Oh thats easy.
BONUS Track: “Hey, Look Me Over”
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 5:54 pm #
GG Allin’s music always helps to set a romantic mood.
Comment by Carin on 10/6 @ 5:54 pm #
HA! and I was gonna suggest “Heaven Know I’m Miserable Now.”
Comment by urthshu on 10/6 @ 5:54 pm #
>>Because 10cc’s sounds like what a faggy European would call his band
10cc is what Lovin’ Spoonful is. Teh vereh same.
Comment by happyfeet on 10/6 @ 5:58 pm #
Mostly cause Nickleback guy feels things a lot more intensely, or maybe robustly is the word… more robustly than is normal or healthy and it makes me feel uncomfortable. Maybe it’s just me.
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 5:59 pm #
Carin, Morrissey’s fine but Mr. Allin’s music has more of a soulful balladeer’s feel. Who couldn’t help but to fall in love over a tune like “Needle Up My C*ck”?
Comment by urthshu on 10/6 @ 6:02 pm #
yes yes but we were talkin’ worst.
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 6:03 pm #
Oh, my mistake. ;)
Comment by Rob Crawford on 10/6 @ 6:03 pm #
Wow, timely.
If I didn’t have to work tomorrow, I’d be considering getting smashed right now.
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 6:04 pm #
I’d be considering getting smashed right now.
I prefer getting hopped up on goofballs.
Comment by N. O'Brain on 10/6 @ 6:06 pm #
“#Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 10/6 @ 5:33 pm #
Scottish units, please: .023 mutchkins or .092 gills.”
More Scottish units: 0.778 furlongs per fortnight.
Comment by maggie katzen on 10/6 @ 6:07 pm #
ut oh, did something not go very well?
Comment by N. O'Brain on 10/6 @ 6:08 pm #
And Glenfiddich is pronounced with a hard “K” sound at the end.
“Glen fidik”
Scots are strange that way.
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 6:10 pm #
Whiskey and haggis will do that to you.
Comment by Melinda Slade on 10/6 @ 6:13 pm #
Sounds like my lifes story in a nut shell. Really sounds like the makings of a good country song to me.
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 6:16 pm #
Sounds like my lifes story in a nut shell.
You poor thing. :(
Comment by Russ on 10/6 @ 6:16 pm #
“Feeling like a part of you is dying.” Oof. Been there.
I still like the song.
Comment by dre on 10/6 @ 6:19 pm #
“in a nut shell”
NUTISTS
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 6:20 pm #
Nudists? Where?
Comment by urthshu on 10/6 @ 6:21 pm #
They don’t make country songs out of ordered lists.
They use bullet points.
Comment by B Moe on 10/6 @ 6:21 pm #
Careful how you eat those bunnies, maggie and hf
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRp_r-EHmfs
at about 4:00
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 6:23 pm #
Wow, Emo Philips. Haven’t thought of him in decades.
Comment by Rob Crawford on 10/6 @ 6:24 pm #
Just a matter of foolish hopes dashed.
Comment by urthshu on 10/6 @ 6:27 pm #
Well, hey, now you get change
DENOUNCED!!1!
Comment by Patrick on 10/6 @ 6:27 pm #
I denounce pepperoni.
Comment by urthshu on 10/6 @ 6:27 pm #
/sorry Rob
Comment by Mr. Whoopsies on 10/6 @ 6:29 pm #
I denounce people who denounce pepperoni.
Comment by ThomasD on 10/6 @ 6:44 pm #
So, when did I get blotto and unload the story of my twenties on you?
50 plus post and no big boys don’t cry?
Comment by Rob Crawford on 10/6 @ 7:03 pm #
Like I said, foolish hopes. I did get to see her, though, and get to see about a third of my graduating class, as well as my college professors.
And, damn, she looks good.
Comment by dre on 10/6 @ 8:09 pm #
Does any one have “Change I Can Believe In”? There’s no pennies at check out.
Comment by JD on 10/6 @ 10:26 pm #
Rob – Shit.
Comment by Silver Whistle on 10/7 @ 5:39 am #
And Glenfiddich is pronounced with a hard “K†sound at the end.
Actually, N. O’Brain, it’s pronounced with that clearing the mucus out of the back of your throat ggggghhhhhhh sort of sound. But don’t then spit. In company.
Comment by Lost My Cookies on 10/7 @ 7:53 am #
Has anyone else noticed that there seems to be a large number of bands named after ejaculate?
If I ever start a band, I’m calling it “Tits”.
Comment by U-238 on 10/7 @ 8:35 am #
In beating a good joke to death:
10cc = 0.0003531467 cubic ft, 0.04226753 cups, 2.705104 dram, 0.002641721 gallons, 0.002199692 UK gallons, 162.3073 Mirim (US), 0.02113376 Pints, 0.01759754 (UK)Pints, 0.01056688 Quarts, 0.6762805 Tablespoons, 2.028841 teaspoons, 0.0001006379 barrels, 0.000330215 bushels and 0.00132086 pecks.
I embrace my inner nerd.
Comment by RR Ryan on 10/7 @ 5:12 pm #
I’m actually quite fond of 10cc’s “I Hate to Eat Alone”. I believe it’s on the “Look Hear” album so it’s harder to track down, but definitely worth it. Any song that starts with the line, “I picked myself up in a downtown bar,” is ok in my book.