Tentative tagline: “Just like regular tv, except on the internet. And with no guest appearances by Tim Daly or Steven Weber currently in the works.”
Now all I need is one of them professional looking director’s chairs with my name on it. And a camera. And some editing software. And a way to stream the video. Not to mention a crew. And maybe a desk, too — with one of those prop antique mics…
****
update: Coming a ways down the road: protein wisdom tv!
Comment by cjd on 8/31 @ 9:49 pm #
Personally, Jeff, I think PW TV should just be a continuous streaming picture of your hand, mangled index finger and all, curled around a sweaty glass of Glenmorangie. Either that or a Shannon Elizabeth boobie shot. Slightly OT, being in CO, have you tried that Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey yet?
Comment by Jeff G. on 8/31 @ 9:51 pm #
Haven’t. Any good? Is that the frontier whiskey?
Comment by cjd on 8/31 @ 9:54 pm #
Dunno. I saw a thing about it on the History Channel, and lo and behold I found a bottle of it for sale here in Kansas City today. Didn’t get it, it’s about $52 a pop, but I might just splurge this week and get a bottle. Supposedly it’s a mix (taste/aroma wise) of bourbon and scotch. Should be interesting, I’ll let you know once I’ve tried it.
Comment by Lamontyoubigdummy on 8/31 @ 9:54 pm #
Variety show!!!
Will there be nudity? What about co-hosting with an armadillo and Ed Sullivan’s corpse? Will you have Christopher Walken on? Hey, you could make it like Hee-Haw. But with beer and scotch commercials. You should totally use the sound effects from The Six Million Dollar Man. Will there be nudity?
Sorry, I’m just excited.
…will there be nudity?
Comment by McGehee on 8/31 @ 9:59 pm #
Jeff, do you need a half-toasted sidekick to laugh too loud at your jokes? ‘Cause I can do that.
Comment by Jeff G. on 8/31 @ 10:03 pm #
I think I already found one, McGehee. But thanks!
Comment by cjd on 8/31 @ 10:07 pm #
Jeez, Jeff. How dare you write big words all convoluted and shit. Per Ron, I guess conservatives are much better served by the likes of…well, Brookhiser I guess. For the eliteness, you see.
Comment by Jeff G. on 8/31 @ 10:09 pm #
I think Ron is Brookhiser’s pal. I DEMAND GOLDSTEIN RELEASE HIS TRANSCRIPTS!
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 8/31 @ 10:20 pm #
Camera: on the low end, these aren’t half-bad (I was surprised at the quality, frankly). They’re about the size of a pack of smokes, and cheap enough that you could buy a few if you wanted to get fancy with camera angles and shit. You can’t go wrong at the price.
Editing software: iMovie!
Streaming: just put it on YouTube — I think they even have a deal where they’ll give you a cut of the profits (which probably wouldn’t be much).
Can’t wait to see it!
Comment by McGehee on 8/31 @ 10:36 pm #
Um, okay. You need a bandleader?
I can’t do that, but I can fake it real good.
Comment by happyfeet on 8/31 @ 10:43 pm #
I like the regular protein wisdom fine. That post you did today was valuable and also kind of scary. If you link to Pajamas TV I might watch but you can’t just link you have to sell it or I don’t think I’ll bother. I like the regular protein wisdom just fine.
Comment by T&T on 8/31 @ 10:49 pm #
Do you need a personal barista? Bartender? Peanut gallery? I’ll bring my own peanuts & throw in a pound of espresso beans.
T&T
Comment by qdpsteve on 8/31 @ 11:22 pm #
Coming Soon: protein wisdom tv!
Well well. Look who’s gone Hollywood. Now that you’re going to be a celebrity Jeff, don’t forget your:
- simpering underpaid lackeys bringing you Evian every 20 minutes
- ‘No blood for oil’ T-shirt (comes free with DGA membership)
- two or three ‘love children’ for whom you deny paternity, but yet still send a many-zeroed check to each month
- souvenir hickey from Paris Hilton
- Mega-sized black tourning SUV with a ‘Global Warming is killing us all’ bumper sticker
Comment by David McKinnis on 8/31 @ 11:27 pm #
I’ve got a band that does nothing but annoy our friends and family with with our artistic ventures. We could annoy people we don’t even know.
If not that, can I be the one who says 5,4,3,2 and then points at you?
Comment by Sticky B on 9/1 @ 12:06 am #
Will you be needing a “Jane, you ignorant slut” character?
Cause I’m pretty sure thor needs a job.
Comment by qdpsteve on 9/1 @ 12:11 am #
If not that, can I be the one who says 5,4,3,2 and then points at you?
David McKinnis, that’s called a ‘floor manager.’
And, you stop counting out loud at ‘three’ so that once tape is up to speed, there’s no leakage to the audio track.
;-)
Comment by Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) on 9/1 @ 1:50 am #
- Yes. You stop counting out loud at “3″, and use your fingers popping out from a clenched fist, held in front of you, for the final “2″ “1″, and an index finger pointing at the host for the “Go”.
- Even floor managers have at least two fingers on their hands.
Comment by Dan Collins on 9/1 @ 3:15 am #
He’s Jeffrey the Nightfly, hello Baton Rouge . . .
Comment by SevenEleventy on 9/1 @ 5:05 am #
Jeff, you’ll need a band. If Doc Severinson isn’t available, there’s always the Kazoo Funk Orchestra
Comment by JHoward on 9/1 @ 7:35 am #
You don’t do carnival of the Althousianism, and there’s no live-on-the-moon juvenility, hyperspace-any-day-now, the fountain of youth faster-please, or other insta-predictability. So post your list and I might could help.
Comment by SarahW on 9/1 @ 8:18 am #
I can cut up fruit for the green room!
Comment by SarahW on 9/1 @ 8:19 am #
Oprah, she always has the big fruit trays with strawberries and pineapple and stuff.
Comment by Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) on 9/1 @ 8:22 am #
- No arugala?
Comment by thor on 9/1 @ 8:27 am #
I want to my Prowiz TV!
Can I hostthe Nishi Dating Game! I want to watch nishi choose a frozen banana over SPB!
Comment by SevenEleventy on 9/1 @ 8:28 am #
Rachel Ray always seems to have arugula! Snotty bitch and a ten percent tipper!
Comment by SevenEleventy on 9/1 @ 8:33 am #
griefquest would just need a house of mirrors with an echo machine. To her, love means never having to leave her room.
Comment by happyfeet on 9/1 @ 8:35 am #
oh. Here is for SarahW maybe. I looked at one of these the other day but I was dubious. Can anyone vouch for this? It’s a “mango slicer” but it seems to me mango pit thingers are bigger lots of times than this looks built for. I have the apple one and it works but I never use it really cause apples are not very interesting to me at least until I get one of those really really powerful blenders.
Comment by McGehee on 9/1 @ 8:55 am #
No sharp implements in the star’s dressing room, please.
Comment by happyfeet on 9/1 @ 8:57 am #
good call. Also it turns out there are 780 billion varieties of mangos and I’ve been getting some freakishly ginormous ones.
Comment by thor on 9/1 @ 9:03 am #
I can juggle and spin a basketball on my finger. While I do pron scenes!
Comment by Salt Lick on 9/1 @ 9:09 am #
Can anyone vouch for this? It’s a “mango slicerâ€Â
Wow. Turns your fruit into a dirty Georgia O’Keefe painting.
Comment by B Moe on 9/1 @ 9:14 am #
Am I the only person left in the world who just has a good knife and a cutting board?
Comment by Salt Lick on 9/1 @ 9:16 am #
Not to mention a crew.
Um, I will help screen your guests.
Comment by PC on 9/1 @ 10:20 am #
well, they just announced on TV that Palin’s daughter is pregnant. Great. Now the moonbats are going to go nuts.
Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 9/1 @ 10:34 am #
Can I hostthe Nishi Dating Game! I want to watch nishi choose a frozen banana over SPB!
I want to see the show featuring thor and Todd Palin with a fish billy.
Comment by Hixter on 9/1 @ 11:04 am #
Glenmorangie rocks. As does Speyside…the Palin bruhaha sent me straight to the rum today, however. So it’s mojitos for all of Labor Day. Just saw the Palin teen-pregnancy headlines on Fox…now what will the Libs do? Say Palin is forcing her daughter to have an “unwanted” child? I was driven to post on a lib site yesterday that people were behaving as if Palin, in order to clinch the “anti-reproductive rights” peoples’ votes, had somehow birthed child with Down’s Syndrome…NOW what are they going to say??? All reproductive choices being equal (which they don’t seem to be in Libland). I should not drink and post. Get all wordy.
Comment by Obstreperous Infidel on 9/1 @ 3:32 pm #
Laphroig with a splash of water. It does a body good. And PW TV would be fantastic. I’ll be a gaffer.
Comment by mojo on 9/2 @ 10:16 am #
I’m ready for my close-up now, Mr. Goldstein…