July 25, 2008

Spam King Escapes [Dan Collins; UPDATED x2]

Converts family into potted meat product.

UPDATE: Fucker.

via happyfeet, Progg Hero Kidnaps Kids, holds them in Yemen. Yay, team!

Posted by Dan Collins @ 8:19pm

Comments (40)

  1. Child murder=not funny

  2. Yeah, Dan … not so much.

  3. Try to imagine it in the sardonic tone I typed it, please.

  4. Dan,

    If you’re that bored, and I think you are .. try this for a spell after showing some damn respect to the murdered wife and child by changing that post. http://www.etchy.org/

  5. You aimed for sardonic but landed in “complete sociopathic putz”

    Make certain to blame this on the audience.

  6. Fucking horrible.


  7. There. Changed it for you. Happier?

  8. Once people are on the tv news it’s hard to take them too seriously. That might just be me though. Desensitized maybe, but that’s funny cause I really don’t watch tv all that much. Meaning only when I’m in a hotel room and then only sometimes. But for real we know about Mr. Spam King and his wacky murderousness only because a producer figured it would appeal to Adults 25-54 that very likely might be in the market for a new car. Or maybe a mattress. Something like that.

  9. add “the” to the word “fucker” and you’ll hit the right tone
    … provided you move your lips when you read this blog, and I think that most people do.

    Also, fwiw, the cultural link doesn’t work. Technically, nowadays, Spam isn’t potted meat.

    yah dumbass.

    Have another drink.

  10. Sure, BumperStickerist, I’m a horrible excuse for a human being. You can tell by how I treat people. It’s self-evident, really.

  11. Well it’s just interesting BumperStickerist cause no one knew spamming was a gateway crime. I didn’t know that anyway, and it is interesting, but “spammer kills family” maybe doesn’t really sell it. Dan made me click, and I am a better person with a more profound understanding of human foibles than I was when I woke up this morning. Is this gonna turn into one of those what if the surviving whatever googles and has to read this things cause honestly that’s dumb. Googling yourself isn’t a wise thing to do without a healthy complement of coping skills, I don’t care who you are. Don’t tell Jeff I said that.

  12. Dan, I just consulted the Holy Book of Spam and it said nothing about Spam or Spam potted meats being made of people… I think you’re confusing it with Soylent Green…. or maybe bologne…

  13. My we’re touchy today. I’m struggling to think of something to feed teh outrage but I got nothin’.

  14. And what’s with the spec scriptyness of that article anyway? When did that start?

  15. If we were having a sacred conversation on race, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen, I can tell you that.

  16. Dan … it’s not so much you’re a horrible excuse for a human being, as somebody desperate to post a quick witticism tying “Spam to Potted Mean” (wrongly) with a complete disregard to the death of two people.

    Say “Hi!” to Bill Maher at the next halloween costume party.

    Go as the dead child.

    I’m not offended, so much as *disappointed*.

    and a bit drunk.

    so, fuck it.

  17. I hate spam, and Spam. I suppose I latched onto that because the story’s so repulsive. So, I’m sorry to have offended you. Forgive me. My object was to highlight the grotesquerie of the crime.

  18. At the link you see they try and sell the story like this…

    “Davidson imposed the ‘death penalty’ on family members for his own crime.”

    Uh. Ok. I think I like Dan’s more better though.

  19. Mr. Reynolds is being a tad flip about child kidnapping here I think. This troubles me.

  20. the sin and the crime was this POS’s, not Dan’s. It appears he had few morals, ethics, or pride. I’m sorry his wife and kid were caught up in his sick ending, but he deserved what was coming to him. Apology for saying that? FO

  21. That is some truly fucked up shit. How does one ever get into that frame of mind?

    On April 28, 2008, Davidson was sentenced by Krieger to serve 21 months in federal prison. Judge Krieger also ordered him to pay $714,139 in restitution to the Internal Revenue Service (IRS). As part of the restitution, Davis agreed to forfeit property he purchased, including gold coins, with the ill-gotten proceeds of his offense. At the time of sentencing Judge Krieger ordered Davidson to report to a facility designated by the Federal Bureau of Prisons on May 27, 2008.

    2 months into a 21 month term in Federal Kiddie Prison, and he does this? I can’t help but wonder what else was going on that made this guy snap. Or is he just defective?

  22. He must have had debt. Just a guess, but it seems likely.

  23. Oh, that’s from Wikipedia.

  24. Or the wife was divorcing him and taking the kids. After all, that’s who he killed and it seems like that’s what he escaped to do. Something set him in motion. That’s my best guess.

  25. That’s a better guess I think. Also, low self-esteem. Just gathering that from the mugshot.

  26. I hear that. Plus, I already hate him for what he did to my inbox. Fucker.

  27. Have y’all seen this? That’s very weird. McCain’s presidency will have a real upside I think if it prompts a little introspection while these guys figure out where they fit in the order of things. They’ve gone off track somewheres.

  28. Oh, that’s hilarious. Unless you’re Tyson Gay.

  29. Oh. Also that etchy thing at #4 is too much fun for no real reason. Mostly cause you can email your stuff when you’re done I thing.

  30. I *think* …

  31. If we were having a sacred conversation on race, this kind of thing wouldn’t happen, I can tell you that.

    Well, there you have it. You’ve crossed the line into black humor. We shall not be niggardly with our outrage!

  32. What’s Obama gonna do with Kwame Kilpatrick and his pronouncements on race? He can’t believe a black officer would ride in the same car with a white guy! Everyone hates him, apparently, because he’s black. It’s a quagmire, I tell ya. Pelosi was in town yesterday shilling for Kwame’s mom. HA!

    As to the spam story – don’t these guys usually do such a thing to put them out of their misery? Fortune lost, reputation destroyed … it’s better off to just kill everyone than have them endure the pain of life.

  33. Please change it back to whatever pissed off those pussies, Dan. Those were some great articles and I just know you added some flair to ’em.

    And keep ’em coming, Happy. Best read of the week.

  34. Actually, Dan, I got it. Knew what you were aiming for.

  35. Racists

  36. Well, it’s nice to know he’s burning in Hell.

  37. I was very cheered to hear that the spam guy died, but sad to hear his family members died at his evil hand as well.

  38. That’s a sad tale. He needed thicker cell bars. And an accurate, timely psychological profile would’ve alerted people that he was dangerous to self and others.

    From hf’s link at 27…”Memphis Grizzlies backers hit the hay hoping that Kevin Love would open things up for Rudy Homosexual in the frontcourt.”

    That deserves it’s own post, somewhere else.

  39. OT – Heres what I think is going on in the “lost little girl” case, and what happened to Kaylee.

    – Looking at all the things that have been said, I think Casey, the little girls mother, left her little girl in the car, and she died accidentally of heat exhaustion from the mothers negligence. Her mother, the grama, already suspects that, doesn’t know where the little girls body is, and as much as she can is trying to protect her daughter while she tries to get at the truth.

    – The other possibility, since she gave her daughter 31 days to fnd the little girl, is she may actually be obstructing justice, but either way the little girl is most probably deceased.

    – An accidental death, with grandma trying to run interference for her sociopath daughter, would make everything fit.

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