July 10, 2008
The Fierce Flatulence of Cow [Dan Collins]

Cow farts collected in plastic tank for global warming study

I just felt that you had a right to know.

Canadian forensics experts have found that two of the five feet that have washed ashore onto islands near Vancouver belong(ed?) to the same man. Since all but one are right feet, I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the left foot belong(s/ed) to him.

9 Comments  :::   Post a comment »

  1. Comment by serr8d on 7/10 @ 7:32 pm #

    Now if we could just get it to work in our gas tanks.

    “Fill ‘er up, Sam.”

    “Holstein, or the extra-premium Brahma?”

    “Brahma today, Sam. I’m feeling short-winded…”

  2. Comment by Topsecretk9 on 7/10 @ 7:36 pm #

    Gee, thanks Dan.

  3. Comment by Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) on 7/10 @ 7:54 pm #

    -“I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the left foot belong(s/ed) to him….

    - Unless he was a dedicated Conservative…

    ….wait for it…

    ….Then he wouldn’t have a left foot to stand on.

  4. Comment by Daniel Day Lewis on 7/10 @ 8:41 pm #

    Excuse me, I think that’s mine.

  5. Comment by Argentinian Cow on 7/10 @ 8:47 pm #

    Moooo?

  6. Comment by happyfeet on 7/10 @ 9:48 pm #

    This is kind interesting…

    At present there is an increasing trend in [Argentina] to increase intensive poultry, pig and cattle production since
    there are projections of an exponential growth of materials for animal feeding that will be delivered by the biofuels production (biodiesel + bioalcohol) (INTA SAGPYA 2005). The country has an urgent need to industrialize its raw farm production transforming grain into animal protein. (more than 90 % of corn is exported as grain).

    That’s from here, p. 17.

    Someone mentioned in a thread the other day that biofuel production *should* be producing tons and tons of animal feed as a byproduct but that we don’t have the infrastructure in place to distribute it right. I think that’s what they were saying.

  7. Comment by TmjUtah on 7/10 @ 10:44 pm #

    You know, on any other random day that cow story could have run on the Onion and nobody would have doubted it was satire – just not as in your face as the usual fare.

    It’s the end of times.

    We’ll see the destruction of the Argentine State Fair before this is over. One careless toke and whoosh, bossie’s an astronaut.

    How do you say “O! The humanity!” in Spanish?

    Where’s my Lightgiver to translate?

  8. Comment by Dan Collins on 7/11 @ 10:06 am #

    Dios mio, la humanidad!

  9. Comment by TmjUtah on 7/11 @ 11:11 am #

    Now, if Serr8d has a moment, we can have a visual to go with it.

    Burning cow crashing to earth… insert Al Gore howling into a mic… Harry Reid holding a sign “no corn for food” and Nancy Pelosi in her hijab. mmmmmm.

    It’s the end times.

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