oatmeal: “I’m generally not one to tell tales out of school, but let’s just say that the little mick prick on the Lucky Charms box is about ‘magical’ as a Raisin Bran fart — and that, were he really all that concerned about kids stealing his wee pastel marshmallow, he wouldn’t keep inviting them inside his tiny condo to takes baths and watch the Cartoon Network in their undies while he ‘tends to me angry shillelagh’…”
|
Return to Protein Wisdom homepage
« The WaPo’s whoppers on Senate gridlock [Karl] | Home | Andrew Sullivan, Max Boot and the American non-Empire [Karl] »
June 28, 2008
a post that explores what life might be like if oatmeal could speak, 15
27 Comments ::: Post a comment »RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI: http://proteinwisdom.com/wp-trackback.php?p=12648 Leave a commentIf you want to leave a feedback to this post or to some other user´s comment, simply fill out the form below. |
||
|
Comment by Log Cabin on 6/28 @ 7:49 am #
“And don’t even get me started about that Mrs. Butterworth who lives 2 shelves down. There’s a reason all the little kids love her! I’m just sayin…”
Comment by SevenEleventy on 6/28 @ 7:54 am #
“Fuck cholesterol! Get the butter and heavy cream!”
Comment by happyfeet on 6/28 @ 7:58 am #
Oh. Some days me Lucky Charms is just what has to pass for happiness. Please don’t take that away from me.
Comment by B Moe on 6/28 @ 8:11 am #
Yeah will I just had some left over Chili Cheese Fries straight out of the fridge for breakfast. Your Raisin Bran fart better watch his little bitch ass, is all I am sayin’.
Comment by TaiChiWawa on 6/28 @ 8:50 am #
The combination of chili cheese fries and a Raisin Bran fart might not be exactly magical, but I bet it would be colorful … and musical.
Comment by The Sanity Inspector on 6/28 @ 9:02 am #
“…and I wonder if you even care if your kids are getting too much cereal with their morning breakfast sugar.”
Comment by SevenEleventy on 6/28 @ 9:12 am #
“…and I wonder if you even care if your kids are getting too much cereal with their morning breakfast sugar.â€Â
Are you criticizing my choice of “Frosted Sugar Granules” for my children? Like Michelle O!, I have a hard time finding fresh fruit for my kids.
Comment by twolaneflash on 6/28 @ 9:16 am #
Fruits is no problems for Obamas. Two adult fruits at the table and a box of Fruit Loops for the chil’ren.
Fruits gives me the winds.
Comment by twolaneflash on 6/28 @ 9:17 am #
An’ da’ runs.
Comment by bergerbilder on 6/28 @ 11:16 am #
I wouldn’t take what oatmeal says at face value, is all I’m sayin’. I’d tell you some of the things it says about you behind your back, but I really don’t want to ruin a friendship.
Comment by Rusty on 6/28 @ 11:32 am #
And that Shredded Wheat. Smug, asshole.
Comment by XBradTC on 6/28 @ 11:45 am #
Indeed, bergerbilder, those oats have been rolled, man, rolled.
Comment by mikey on 6/28 @ 11:49 am #
don’t forget grape nuts, the prius of breffus cereals
Comment by Kevin B on 6/28 @ 12:00 pm #
Bacon, eggs, fried potato, mushrooms, fried tomato and fried bread, (to soak up the bacon fat). And not a perverted cartoon character in sight. That was the breakfast the British Empire was built on.
No wonder our civilization is crumbling to dust.
Comment by Kevin B on 6/28 @ 12:30 pm #
Not that I’m admitting that my early exposure to Scott’s Porridge Oats, with its picture on the box of a guy in a
skirtkilt tossing his caber, or that strange Mr Kellog with his obsession with crowng cocks had any effect on my development.No, we had full fat milk with our cereals in my day.
Comment by Ouroboros on 6/28 @ 1:06 pm #
“Bacon, eggs, fried potato, mushrooms, fried tomato and fried bread, (to soak up the bacon fat).”
God this sounded good.. but then my gouty big toe had to speak up and threaten to join the conversation.. Guess I’ll stick with the talking oatmeal.
Comment by dicentra on 6/28 @ 1:32 pm #
Mrs. Butterworth? She’s a sell-out. GEICO’s got her “interpreting” a customer experience on one of their commercials.
And unprofessional? She totally breaks the fourth wall when the GEICO logo is superimposed over her head. I guess they kept it in as a nod to all her fansâ€â€this woman is one self-absorbed narcissist, kids. We only used her for the novelty angle.
Comment by SevenEleventy on 6/28 @ 1:36 pm #
“I hit it[Mrs. Butterworth]“-Kareem O’Wheat
Comment by B Moe on 6/28 @ 1:39 pm #
That was the breakfast the British Empire was built on.
The B Moe Empire was built mostly on leftover pizza. Guess that explains it shortcomings.
Comment by SevenEleventy on 6/28 @ 1:47 pm #
The B Moe Empire was built mostly on leftover pizza. Guess that explains it shortcomings
Hopefully, you wash it down with a fine malt liquor. It adds to the nutritional value of “the most important meal of the day.”
Comment by Kevin B on 6/28 @ 1:51 pm #
Snake, gout is traditionally blamed on the vice du jour. I’m sure that if you clean-up your intake of lead, alcohol, protein and fat, the naggers will find another enjoyable habit of yours to blame.
Comment by Cowboy on 6/28 @ 3:56 pm #
I have gout, but I got permission from my doctor to refer to it as “arthritis”–which technically it is.
“Gout” sounds so sedentary, and all double-chinny.
I could change my diet, but I decided that God made poppies for a reason.
…and anti-inflammatories as well.
Comment by Cowboy on 6/28 @ 3:58 pm #
Besides, when I was a kid, we ate Quaker Oats with Carnation powdered milk for breakfast almost every morning.
Gruel, really.
The only good thing about Quaker Oats was the round cardboard box it came in.
Comment by Time & Tea on 6/28 @ 5:06 pm #
Jeff, Jeff,
So you’ve run through all your porn and you’re back to making up your own again (sigh). With cereal, no less. Since you don’t need the old stuff any more, you may as well send it to me. Er, in a plain brown wrapper.
T&T
Comment by Drumwaster on 6/28 @ 6:26 pm #
To buy from veterans, right? Right?
Comment by happyfeet on 6/28 @ 10:13 pm #
I like how Lucky Charms make the box bulgey when they kind of settle. Most cereal doesn’t do that. Also they are tasty.
Comment by Swen Swenson on 6/29 @ 5:45 am #
Now if only my dirty rice could talk..