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1. Comment by Salt Lick on 4/23 @ 3:58 pm #

   I think Amazon will work you a two-fer if you pair this with my book — “Mommy’s Titties — For Food and Play (illustrated).”

2. Comment by mojo on 4/23 @ 4:03 pm #

   DON’T EAT THE BROWN CLOWN, MAN!

3. Comment by Ouroboros on 4/23 @ 4:12 pm #

   Does the book happen to mention Farmer Bob’s e-mail address anywhere?

4. Comment by Pablo on 4/23 @ 4:15 pm #

   Funny, Salt Lick, but not quite as funny as the truth. The actual Amazon twofer deal pairs this one with No, George, No!

   This is a book about a President named George who has a dream. In this dream, George becomes a little boy, and he meets a Truth Fairy who is trying to teach him lessons about How to not manipulate the Media, How to treat Veterans, How to be honest, How to be respectful with families who have lost soldiers in war, How to go to War only when necessary, How not to label people as Boogeymen, How not to invade countries, How to control greed, How to hold fair elections, and How to behave as a leader. Though there are political lessons and footnotes for people to learn more, the ultimate lesson in the 32 paged hard cover children’s style 81/2″ x 11″ book is that we are all connected; we are all one. On his journey while playing the game of “Let’s Imagine” with the Truth Fairy, the young boy George learns many other lessons, including the fact that it is up to each of us to create the person we are becoming.

   Parody is absolutely useless in these situations.

5. Comment by Salt Lick on 4/23 @ 4:44 pm #

   Yeah, I heard Tom Wolfe lecture in the 80’s and he said it was getting impossible to write fiction more odd than modern life.

6. Comment by MC on 4/23 @ 8:27 pm #

   I’m speechless. Strangely hungry. But speechless.

7. Comment by Enron Hubbard on 4/23 @ 9:57 pm #

   I read “The Wonderful Flight to the Mushroom Planet” as a kid (http://www.amazon.com/Wonderful-Flight-Mushroom-Planet/dp/0316125407/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209009012&sr=1-1).

   Sounds like the book you bought for your kid is a cheap knockoff, with the free blotter paper the equivalent of those prizes they used to have in cereal boxes, like the submarine you would stuff with baking soda and then wouldn’t do anything but lay there like a dead fish.

8. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 10:26 pm #

   That’s so cool! I’ve been trying to think of that book forever. I loved that when I was little. There was another one too. Very trippy is how I remember it. Like these ones that I really loved even though I never really got them at all. Never did figure out what a freaking moomin was. I should get those too. Thank you!

9. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/23 @ 10:26 pm #

   Didn’t even break double digits in the comment department.

   Wow. It’s all but over for me. I relent.

10. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 10:27 pm #

    That’s so cool! No for real that’s totally like finding something you thought you’d lost forever ago.

11. Comment by RTO Trainer on 4/23 @ 10:28 pm #

    I’m sorry Jeff, but I just couldn’t find a handle on it anywhere.

12. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/23 @ 10:29 pm #

    Pity comment. Double up. Doesn’t count.

13. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 10:29 pm #

    Hey. That’s not the spirit. It was a weird day around here, what with steve having a core meltdown and all. It was very sad watching him disintegrate and I think people were a lot stunned. Also at first I thought the title was German and I was intimidated.

14. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 10:35 pm #

    Also, I think you may have not really taken into account that this post is actually very very dark. It ain’t Ferdinand The Bull. How great is Ferdinand The Bull by the way even if it’s sort of a lot about a little gay bull I think in retrospect. It’s a lot one of my favoritest ever. He just wanted to smell the flowers. What a cool little bull really. Good for him, and you should revisit that really. Ferdinand would have taken this whole comment thing a lot in stride I think.

15. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 10:36 pm #

    Also you never went back and fixed the or/of thing, which a lot bugged me all day.

16. Comment by maggie katzen on 4/23 @ 10:40 pm #

    I’m sorry Jeff, but I just couldn’t find a handle on it anywhere

    har, he didn’t get the nickname “Homeslice” for nothin’. we’re very white bread.

17. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/23 @ 10:55 pm #

    Ferdinand would have taken this whole comment thing a lot in stride I think.

    Fuck Ferdinand, then.

18. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 10:59 pm #

    Well the thing about Ferdinand is when he got roused up he was pretty fearsome. There was this bee one time what he sat on… Literally.

19. Comment by maggie katzen on 4/23 @ 11:01 pm #

    darn it happyfeet, now I’m trying to remember who it was I read about the other day… composer… eventually wrote the music for the cartoon of Ferdinand.

20. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 11:02 pm #

    You’re right – I think that was a Disney thinger. I wonder it’s part of those rarities they released.

21. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 11:04 pm #

    Yay! I would like that a lot I think but for now I’m just putting it on my list.

22. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/23 @ 11:05 pm #

    The thing about Ferdinand is fuck him. And his bee.

23. Comment by maggie katzen on 4/23 @ 11:05 pm #

    ah, found it, Malotte wrote the arrangement of The Lord’s Prayer that everyone knows.

24. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 11:11 pm #

    Yes. Malotte… But also Ferdinand is a lot about teaching kids that it’s ok to be mellow and ok to not get excited about stuff. Ferdinand would have never narked on his Mom, just like she just let him sit under the cork tree and gaze wistfully at the other bulls as they gamboled and snorted and all. So, thematically I think Ferdinand is sort of in the same genre as the It’s Just A Plant thing.

25. Comment by happyfeet on 4/23 @ 11:12 pm #

    Oh. That’s not at all as I intended. That’s ok though. Take it in stride I will.

26. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/23 @ 11:50 pm #

    Fuck stride.

27. Comment by happyfeet on 4/24 @ 12:21 am #

    Yes. That is wisdom.

    they might also dream
    about falling Tetris shapes when drifting off to sleep.

    In this sense, the

    Tetris effect* is a

    form
    of
    hypnagogic
    imagery.

    Oy, the box is full, full…*

28. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/24 @ 12:54 am #

    Death of the author, Barthes called it.

    I call it reluctant evolution.

    Happily, there are pixels aplenty, and space to start anew.

29. Comment by Karl on 4/24 @ 1:29 am #

    I actually had work obligations Wed., but like RTO, I don’t know what I might have said, other than to remark that it was good to see Jeff on site. I would not have added value and — perhaps from looking at sitemeter too much — am aware that the comments, traffic and appreciation are weakly correlated at best.

    It’s sorta like if I went to the museum and said, “Wow, a Picasso.” My comment is obvious; it does not increase museum attendance or alter the artistic merit of the work.

    Nevertheless, I understand that a blogger needs a little comment love from time to time, so I give it happily.

30. Comment by Karl on 4/24 @ 1:33 am #

    Also, just quickly Googling Death of the Author tended to confirm my suspicion that Jeff is misusing it, if I understand his ref to “reluctant evolution” correctly.

31. Comment by Little Miss Attila on 4/24 @ 2:15 am #

    Jeff. Dude. You’ve got to relax. Have some tea–or maybe a slice of pizza.

    I’m particularly fond of checking out early Beatles flicks, and appreciating the brilliant, saturated colors in ‘em.

    Oh. Wow.

32. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/24 @ 2:22 am #

    I’m relaxed. To the point of ether. I AM THE MIST! SMELL ME AS I BLOW BY!

33. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/24 @ 2:23 am #

    Skip that last comment. Makes me look unrelaxed. Evidently, now I need to have a pose here.

    I choose Black Caesar.

34. Comment by Karl on 4/24 @ 2:25 am #

    Septimius Severus?

35. Comment by Karl on 4/24 @ 2:26 am #

    ;-)

    Get on the good foot.

36. Comment by Carin TWPBH on 4/24 @ 5:50 am #

    Well, if it means anything, yours was the first post I read this morning. I was in soccer mom/guitar lessons from hell yesterday afternoon until evening. And my stupid family has something against me playing on AlGore’s internet at night.

37. Comment by BumperStickerist on 4/24 @ 6:38 am #

    I’ll send Jeff a copy of the cult parenting favorite

    Everybody Poops, but only Artists Turn Poop Into Art

    an NEA grant for the kid might go a long way towards paying future college costs. or bail bonds.

38. Comment by JD on 4/24 @ 6:47 am #

    This is all some huge joke, right? RWS talking about marijuana. No, George, No. Ferdinand. Sponge Bob. Did I just step through the Looking Glass?

39. Comment by alppuccino on 4/24 @ 6:51 am #

    5 years ago, after a party at my Mother-in-Law’s, my 9-year-old son gave me inspiration for a great children’s book title when he asked me, “Daddy, why was Grandma doing shots with the scary neighbor?”

    Journeys not taken, books unwritten. It sure piles up.

40. Comment by mojo on 4/24 @ 8:50 am #

    I’m sensing a lot of, well, bitterness here, Jeff. You’re not clinging to that sweet little Mossberg pump of yours again, are you? ‘Cause President Barracky don’t like that shit.

41. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/24 @ 10:00 am #

    I’m not bitter. More like Michael J Fox on stage toward the end of Back to the Future. Getting a bit faded, is all.

42. Comment by mojo on 4/24 @ 10:31 am #

    You need a project, man. How about doing some re-write works on the 3rd of the ‘Dillo flicks?

    “CABBIE: A mentally unstable Armadillo, a Vietnam war veteran, works as nighttime taxi driver in a city whose perceived decadence and sleaze feeds his urge to violently lash out, leading to a take-no-prisoners chop-socky melee with a gang of drug-dealing Greenwich Village transvestites.”

    I think it’s got legs, no pun intended.

43. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/24 @ 11:03 am #

    It has pizazz, mojo. But by the time the suits were done with it, the Armadillo would be Tim Robbins, and he’d be lashing out at right wing corporate fat cats with the aid of a band of rough-edged but good hearted transvestite hookers — at least one of which will be played by John Leguizamo.

    And that just depresses me beyond belief.

44. Comment by Carin TWPBH on 4/24 @ 11:05 am #

    Ok, but John Leguizamo is one funny cat. So there’s that.

45. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/24 @ 11:11 am #

    – if the budget gets cut, I’ll end up with JM J Bullock. Or that Mario guy from Sex in the City who Joy Behar keeps around like a little gay poodle.

46. Comment by mojo on 4/24 @ 12:13 pm #

    Budget?…

47. Comment by Jeff G. on 4/24 @ 2:17 pm #

    Well, if we’re going no budget, I don’t think Robbins is in.

    He may play the communist sympathizer on tv, but when it’s time to sign the contracts, he’s like John Paul Getty with a pen made from the boiled finger of some competitor.

48. Comment by Karl on 4/24 @ 2:22 pm #

    Fading would be an argument for playing the guitar.

49. Comment by happyfeet on 4/24 @ 3:16 pm #

    Robbins is married to that woman what thinks she can wear sleeveless gowns and he obviously doesn’t know how to tell her. Susan, if you’re reading this, sleeves are your friend. Tim you can thank me later. My work here is done.

50. Comment by mojo on 4/24 @ 3:34 pm #

    Actually, I’ve been doing some “creative financing” – mostly credit cards I, ah, found in, um, a dark alley behind the Moose lodge…

    But I’ve probably said too much. Ixnay.

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