April 20, 2008
More Facebook Follies, Reverse Chronological Order [Dan Collins]

You sent a notification to Glenn Greenwald:

8:43am

Dan Collins now owns you as a pet! You were bought for $571, earning you $30 in profit. Click here to see your profile, or click here to see your new owner’s profile.

Glenn Greenwald accepted your friend request.

6:52am

Glenn is new on Facebook. To welcome them:

Suggest friends that Glenn may know

Write on their wall

Send them a message

Note that Facebook realizes they are plural.

37 Comments  :::   Post a comment »

  1. Comment by McGehee on 4/20 @ 2:55 pm #

    Suggest friends that Glenn may know

    Hilarity must ensue.

  2. Comment by Karl on 4/20 @ 3:17 pm #

    I’ve heard of people having pet snakes and ferrets, but this?

  3. Comment by Dan Collins on 4/20 @ 3:43 pm #

    Look: I buy one and I get a whole laundry basket full!

  4. Comment by Dan Collins on 4/20 @ 3:43 pm #

    Cabana sold separately.

  5. Comment by Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) on 4/20 @ 4:39 pm #

    - If they didn’t throw in the single heavy eye brow, 45 degree angle mustache, broken microphone, and out of tune banjo with the argyle socks you got, they ripped you off. Also there should be an autographed book in there somewhere with Schumers john doe on it.

    - Maybe you should make a check list, just for accuracy sake.

  6. Comment by Big Bang Hunter (pumping you up) on 4/20 @ 4:44 pm #

    - Oh…..Almost forgot – The “Downtown Damascas in flames” shopped photo….and it should also come with the own Glenn(s) ace AP war correspondent sock….

  7. Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 4/20 @ 4:58 pm #

    Look: I buy one and I get a whole laundry basket full!\

    Yeah, I hear those are even worse than rabbits or guppies.

  8. Comment by Dan Collins on 4/20 @ 5:02 pm #

    Let’s leave the gluppies out of this.

  9. Comment by JD on 4/20 @ 5:28 pm #

    Why in the world would anyone want to buy a gleeens? I would sooner purchase a severe case of untreated syphillis than to have to listen to the nasally whining of that lying crapweasel, and her pathetic jocksniifer, Mona.

  10. Comment by Dan Collins on 4/20 @ 5:33 pm #

    Actually, the idea is to sell them to Mona for a much inflated price.

  11. Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 4/20 @ 5:43 pm #

    Well, better a gluppy than a duppy.

  12. Comment by JohnAnnArbor on 4/20 @ 5:47 pm #

    Hm. That could work.

  13. Comment by JohnAnnArbor on 4/20 @ 5:48 pm #

    Selling for a profit, I mean. Profiteering off of Gleen(s) would be kinda funny.

  14. Comment by Spies, Brigands, and Pirates on 4/20 @ 8:02 pm #

    Profiteering off of Gleen(s) would be kinda funny.

    Careful — remember what happened to Cyrano Jones in The Trouble With Tribbles.

  15. Comment by Merovign on 4/20 @ 9:25 pm #

    “Dear Gleens; Dan Collins now owns you as a pet!”

    One of my new favorite moments on teh intertubes.

  16. Comment by Sarah atWp on 4/20 @ 9:26 pm #

    Where do you get that crazee facebook money?
    And yes, I think you could get a fine return on Glenn selling him off in pieces.

  17. Comment by McGehee on 4/20 @ 10:19 pm #

    Let’s leave the gluppies out of this.

    Especially the glibby gloop gluppies.

  18. Comment by JD on 4/21 @ 7:01 am #

    It is totally homophobic to think that you could even e-purchase the gleeens.

  19. Comment by mojo on 4/21 @ 8:30 am #

    “Friend for sale”?

    What the fuck kinda sick shit it THAT?

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