Elizabeth: “I don’t have the foggiest idea who this Captain Ed guy is, to be honest — but if he owns a really nice boat and can score us some X, I’d be willing to give him a shot.
” — Speaking of which, Ted Turner once told me that the salt air had so plumped my nipples that he feared the pressure would force them to go spinning off like a pair of honeycovered rotary saw blades and lop Jane Fonda’s head clean off.
“Of course, this was just before their divorce, so in retrospect, I suppose there’s a chance he was, like, projecting and stuff.”
Comment by Dan Collins on 2/25 @ 1:41 pm #
Hey! I’ve got an idea for another great X-Men hottie!
Comment by mojo X on 2/25 @ 1:45 pm #
ATTICA! ATTICA!
Comment by mojo on 2/25 @ 1:50 pm #
BTW: Sorry, but Dushku definitely hotter.
Comment by Jeff G. on 2/25 @ 1:56 pm #
Viciously spinning nipple blades is just the kind of thing Hot Air needs to take it to that next level. Or at the very least, to give Olbermann something to do with his other hand.
Comment by MC on 2/25 @ 2:04 pm #
Because of the NIPPOCRISY!!!
Comment by JD on 2/25 @ 2:05 pm #
Dushka is smoking hot too.
If they would pair Shannon Nipples with that blonde vixen that Helio damced with, it would be some of the best reality TV, EVAH !
Comment by Karl on 2/25 @ 2:07 pm #
Or something like that, yes.
Comment by TaiChiWawa on 2/25 @ 2:53 pm #
Ted wanted to see her turner nipples cause he was fonda Jane’s head.
Comment by Ash on 2/25 @ 2:54 pm #
Dude, you’re back! I read this and thought, “Now, this one is as good as one of those weird old posts Jeff would have written.” But is WAS Jeff.
Comment by BJTexs on 2/25 @ 2:55 pm #
Shannon will be too busy kicking ass and taking names at the next Heads Up Poker Championship.
Come for the Nipples: Stay for the Smackdown!
Comment by Sticky B on 2/25 @ 3:25 pm #
I, for one, welcome Shannon’s nipples.
Comment by happyfeet on 2/25 @ 3:28 pm #
I, for one, would not sell Cap’n Ed short in the honeycovered nipple department.
Comment by lee on 2/25 @ 3:58 pm #
the salt air had so plumped my nipples
I really, really think when such claims are advanced in an important story like this, there should be links to back up said claims.
But, no worries. Being the helper and giver that I am, I will correct this obvious oversight with gratuitous nudity.
You’re welcome.
Comment by Dan Collins on 2/25 @ 4:03 pm #
SEASON of mists and mellow fruitfulness,
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run;
To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o’er-brimm’d their clammy cells.
http://z.about.com/d/top40/1/0/H/8/alpert1966.jpg
Comment by JD on 2/25 @ 4:06 pm #
That lee, he is one hell of a guy.
Comment by nishizonoshinji on 2/25 @ 4:06 pm #
sah-weet!
now all the Harmony database conspiracy theorists are gruped up in one big softtarget bullseye for me!
i lurvs it.
if only i could comment there.
:(
Comment by nishizonoshinji on 2/25 @ 4:15 pm #
i guess m’schelle is still holding that old fisking against me.
Comment by Dan Collins on 2/25 @ 4:21 pm #
Oh, geez, nishi. You weren’t even around over the weekend to explain bipedal chordate mammalian placental MD guy.
Comment by The Thin Man on 2/25 @ 4:27 pm #
I, for one, would welcome Jane Fonda’s lopped off head.
Because of the L’Oreal
Comment by Jeff G. on 2/25 @ 4:51 pm #
On Golden Girls Pond.
…
What?
Comment by daleyrocks on 2/25 @ 5:29 pm #
nishi’s imagination gets the best of her again if she thinks that was a fisking. No life experience, reads books, talks to computers, doesn’t admit she doesn’t know what she doesn’t know.
You need to get out more girl.
The uber geek new pop fashionishta intellectual snob muslim act ain’t workin’
u lie like rug
u r stoopider than u think or admit
burqa burqa burqa
Comment by Kevin on 2/25 @ 5:57 pm #
So wait. Salt air plumps nipples?
Comment by Tommy on 2/25 @ 6:07 pm #
Oh, how I’ve missed Shannon’s Nipples.
..
Wait, I mean…
No, I’ll go with it.
Comment by Jeff G. on 2/25 @ 6:08 pm #
Of course.
Unless I’m thinking of Ball Park franks and a backyard grill.
Comment by guinsPen on 2/25 @ 6:21 pm #
They plump when you cook ‘em!
Oh, and not on. Nevermind.
Comment by alppuccino on 2/25 @ 6:30 pm #
“Licking the salt off a nipple will plump them as well”
—Myron Brumski
Comment by JD on 2/25 @ 6:40 pm #
a bodyshot with Senorita Elisabeth. Heavenly.
Comment by McGehee on 2/25 @ 11:11 pm #
Well, Shannon’s nipples do tend to have a plumping effect, salt air or not…
Comment by nishizonoshinji on 2/26 @ 7:11 am #
rawr, daleyrocks, if it was weaksauce, why cant i comment at hotair?
ive never even said anything to violate the policy.
my accounts are deleted before i can comment.
i think….i notched a few arrows in her. :)
General Petraeus’ and Dr. Kilcullen’s strategies have had a profound effect on Iraq.
I dislike Malkin because she cannot overcome her prejudices and limited intellect to see that she that she is sandbagging the muslim allies our troops are giving blood and sweat to nuture.
The way she stabbed GW in the back over Dubai Ports World is a perfect example of her basic stupidity and dramaqueen histrionics.
Comment by nishizonoshinji on 2/26 @ 7:15 am #
btw Malkin is just BillO in drag as far as I can tell.
Comment by nishizonoshinji on 2/26 @ 10:14 am #
heh
consider it……if jeff goes to work for for maulkin an shuts PW down i wont be able to comment anywhere.
PROTEIN WISDOM FTW!
Comment by McGehee on 2/26 @ 11:41 pm #
Nishi, turn out the light and go to sleep. Tomorrow’s a school day and I’m not writing you another excuse.
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